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AIBU?

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

253 replies

boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 18:58

1 week old was feeding and some milk was running out the sides of his mouth, he looked totally milk drunk and cute and I said aww, so my husband looked over and gagged when he saw the milk. I asked what that was about and he just said it's so weird that that's come from you

Last night baby pulled off the breast and my let down was squirting everywhere and I had nothing to grab no muslin so I just grabbed the only thing I had which was a glass and let it go in there. I went to tip it down the sink and he started dry heaving and saying no why is your milk in there.

I told him today I find it quite hurtful and he said that he doesn't mean anything by it and is fully supportive of me breastfeeding but it just makes him gag. There's going to be milk dribble and leaks and milky sicks I don't need him gagging all the time and making me feel disgusting just for feeding my child. He's saying I'm over reacting and it's just a reaction he can't control. AIBU?!

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Cuppasoupmonster · 05/02/2023 19:06

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Ireallywantsomechips · 05/02/2023 19:07

Is he quite squeamish? I can be quite squeamish about some things and am currently gagging at my own crusty colostrum boobs so I actually empathise with him. The actual milk doesn’t bother me though I just find colostrum a bit odd for some reason!

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Ihatethenewlook · 05/02/2023 19:08

Do you ever give him oral op? Horrible question I know, but if he’s gagging at the thought of milk…

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wackamole · 05/02/2023 19:08

I asked what that was about and he just said it's so weird that that's come from you...

Is he possibly a secret space alien from another species where these things don't happen as a matter of course/basic biology?

IF he is indeed disgusted by breast milk then perhaps he cannot control his feelings, but he definitely can control his visible reaction in front of you. Alien or not, he's rude.

To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

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ofwarren · 05/02/2023 19:08

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Oh god, I always forget about the hairy handers 🤢

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PinkiOcelot · 05/02/2023 19:09

Is he usually this immature?

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MrsTerryPratchett · 05/02/2023 19:10

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Now that IS a gross thought.

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boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 19:11

Yes he drinks cows milk no problem! And yes he's saying it's a reflex and is involuntary as if that makes it absolutely fine, but it just makes me feel like I'm doing something gross when I'm quite literally doing the most natural thing in the world

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Msgrieves · 05/02/2023 19:11

OneTC · 05/02/2023 19:05

People that do that fake gagging thing are always fucking weird drama people

Hard agree, fucking annoying.

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Cuppasoupmonster · 05/02/2023 19:12

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DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/02/2023 19:12

I breastfed both my babies but even I found it hard to get my head around milk coming from me. I dont think I'm that unusual in associating milk from a bottle rather than actually thinking deeply about where its actually come from.

Saying that, even if he is a bit weirded out by it, he absolutely should not be gagging (unless that's a normal and uncontrollable reaction for him) because its fundamentally rude to gag at a normal physical process that is acceptable in society

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Luredbyapomegranate · 05/02/2023 19:12

Ask him to contemplate 2 thoughts

He drinks milk that has come out of a cow’s tit

He expects you to have direct contact with the penis he also pisses out of

Humans are animals and bodies are messy. While it is true that gagging is an involuntary reflex it’s possible to work on the phobia behind it. Being very chilly with him on this, and pointing out that you aren’t into being married to a fucking 3 year old might do the trick. Failing that therapy. Be very tough with him about this.

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forfuckssake23 · 05/02/2023 19:13

He sounds like a fucking child.

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HomeTheatreSystem · 05/02/2023 19:13

I would find this reaction in my DH to be terminally repellant.

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PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 05/02/2023 19:14

I don't normally take much interest in babies but baby 'David' who's in the advert for breastfeeding on this thread is very sweet indeed.

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ThreeLittleDots · 05/02/2023 19:15

he's saying it's a reflex and is involuntary

Tell him to get a grip. It's absolutely insulting for him to not be able to control himself.

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boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 19:15

I'm not trying to get anyone to post about their boobs, please nobody post about their boobs, I'm not a man and am not trying to provide content for one. Just trying to whinge about the one I live with.

I name changed as I've posted a lot during a difficult pregnancy and felt it became outing and this just came to my mind as I've spent the last 7 days constantly bfing.

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ancientgran · 05/02/2023 19:16

If something makes you gag is that something you can control? Isn't it an involuntary thing, unless he's doing it deliberately and just pretending to gag.

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Eyerollcentral · 05/02/2023 19:17

OneTC · 05/02/2023 19:05

People that do that fake gagging thing are always fucking weird drama people

Totally! I hate any of that carry on. He sounds like a boy as opposed to a man. Ignore his twattish comments as much as you can. Do tell him his immaturity is a real turn off to you and as he is a father now you’d expect him to behave like an adult man not a silly boy.

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Nothingbuttheglory · 05/02/2023 19:17

You married Jay from the Inbetweeners and I claim my £5.

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UserNameSameGame · 05/02/2023 19:20

If it is actually making him gag and he can’t control it then he should genuinely consider therapy.

If he is fake gagging for drama and to make a point then he should grow the hell up.

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Mammyloveswine · 05/02/2023 19:20

He's in for a shock when you first have sex and you leak milk all over!!

In all honesty OP he's being ridiculously childish and pathetic!!

I would tell him so too! How DARE he?! Fucking ridiculous! 🤬🤬🤬

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M08my · 05/02/2023 19:21

He sounds dreadful!

Side note, if I ever caught spare BM in a cup like you did, it would go straight into a special lidded ice tray we kept just for that. Breastmilk is liquid gold! Never down the sink...! You can put the frozen BM into those feeding dummies, good for teething when the time comes.

You are doing really well, breastfeeding is hard work, not least if you have a gross manchild mocking you as your DH is doing. I would be having seriously stern words if I were you

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CowSnail · 05/02/2023 19:21

A genuine gag is a reflex - that’s not his fault, although it is an odd and extreme reaction. A pretend or exaggerated gag, along with his words are not acceptable.

Not sure why people are suggesting you compare it to semen. What a horrendously dim idea. Firstly, how does OP equating breast milk to semen work against the message that breasts are solely sexual? It doesn’t - it does the opposite. Also, I was definitely gag at someone spunking into a glass or spunk dribbling out of someone’s mouth - so, it doesn’t even prove the point you’re attempting to make, it does the opposite.

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mackthepony · 05/02/2023 19:22

Very childish reaction

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