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To be offended by DH gagging at my breast milk?!

253 replies

boobinandgroovin · 05/02/2023 18:58

1 week old was feeding and some milk was running out the sides of his mouth, he looked totally milk drunk and cute and I said aww, so my husband looked over and gagged when he saw the milk. I asked what that was about and he just said it's so weird that that's come from you

Last night baby pulled off the breast and my let down was squirting everywhere and I had nothing to grab no muslin so I just grabbed the only thing I had which was a glass and let it go in there. I went to tip it down the sink and he started dry heaving and saying no why is your milk in there.

I told him today I find it quite hurtful and he said that he doesn't mean anything by it and is fully supportive of me breastfeeding but it just makes him gag. There's going to be milk dribble and leaks and milky sicks I don't need him gagging all the time and making me feel disgusting just for feeding my child. He's saying I'm over reacting and it's just a reaction he can't control. AIBU?!

OP posts:
TrishM80 · 08/02/2023 05:22

Reminds me of the scene in After Life when they visit a house where the woman makes custard pies from her own breast milk, and Ricky Gervais' character starts gagging when his colleague starts tucking into one with the custard dribbling down his chin!

FurAndFeathers · 08/02/2023 07:24

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/02/2023 03:09

I don't agree that 'support' necessarily means piling in to agree that the OP's husband must be a nasty minded, immature fucker who hates women.

Some of us who actually experience uncontrollable strong gag reflexes have tried to make it clear, we can gag at things we DON'T think are disgusting at all, but our bodies disagree and theres fuck all we can do about it. It really isn't personal.

It should go without saying the OP and her husband need to talk, and yes he should try to minimise it and leave the room/be as quiet as possible - but then some people would be outraged that he leaves the room each time something triggers his gag reflex, and would find that offensive.

You don’t have to agree.

you’re quite at liberty to carry on projecting your own feelings over the OP’s and blaming her for taking offence 🤷‍♀️

crack on with being ‘supportive’

GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 07:33


But the subject matter isn't you or the other couple of posters who have got a hypersensitive gag reflex, and have suffered with it for years. This is not about you.

Yes that's one possible excuse.

No, it isnt likely or the OP would have started her post with something like

-my OH has been diagnosed with hyperactive gag reflex, does anyone have this and how do I ignore it when he's retching over the sink at the sight of me?

Bit different.

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