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AIBU?

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Original poster

Been caught at it by the kids

366 replies

EmpressOfTheSofa · 04/02/2023 16:11

How the ever loving fuck do I live this down?

Middle child, 19, has just let herself not only into the house but into our room with three friends in tow.

We were in bed. It’s a very very rare Saturday that I’m not at work and the youngest is out. So obviously we made the most of it.

We heard her key in the door (she was at work until midnight as far as we knew), scrambled, but then she flung our bedroom door open to find us in a state of trying to throw clothes on. Two lads and another girl right behind her on the landing. She was looking for my straighteners to borrow. She thought we were out.

I’m fucking furious as well as embarrassed. But what the fuck. How do I deal with this? Is it our fault for not always expecting her home? Hers for having zero boundaries?

who is at fault here? And how should I approach this?

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 04/02/2023 16:14

Style it out and shrug it off. She'll be as embarrassed as you.

Lesson learned that everyone should knock on a closed bedroom or bathroom door (including parents unless the kids are still small).

Shekissedagirlandshelikedit · 04/02/2023 16:17

The door was shut, she should have knocked. Were there signs you were home? Car on driveway etc?
On the very odd occasion that we may be in that situation we leave keys in the front door so it can't be unlocked from the outside.

JudgeRinderonTinder · 04/02/2023 16:17

Wtf was she doing bringing other people up your stairs and into your bedroom? That is your private space, it’s one thing being your DD (and bad enough in the circs) but her mates are a different thing entirely. This is what I’d be most furious about! There’s no need for them to be anywhere near your bedroom!

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 04/02/2023 16:19

You don't need to "deal" with anything. She just learned a valuable lesson around privacy

KangarooKenny · 04/02/2023 16:19

Put a lock on your door.

Branleuse · 04/02/2023 16:20

I would be fucking furious with her barging in with friends when my door was shut. At 19 she is old enough to know better.

Oysterbabe · 04/02/2023 16:21

I agree that there is no dealing required. Ask her to knock in future.

DaveyJonesLocker · 04/02/2023 16:21

Id give her a bollocking for waltzing straight into your room. You're adults with no kids in the house, she's 19, old enough to understand that her parents have sex.

neverbeenskiing · 04/02/2023 16:23

Is it possible she thought you were out?

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 04/02/2023 16:23

This is 100 % on her. You've not done a thing wrong here and have every right to be livid. Has she apologised? Why on earth does she think it's OK to bring a group of friends back and then enter your bedroom while your out anyway?

mathanxiety · 04/02/2023 16:24

At 19 she's old enough to know that you knock on a closed bedroom door.

She should not be bringing friends anywhere near her parents' bedroom either.

Rewis · 04/02/2023 16:24

No need to deal. Everyone involved are adults and adults have sex. I'm sure she learned to knock.

ComtesseDeSpair · 04/02/2023 16:24

Unless you want to keep on reliving the embarrassment, let it end here. I bet with some degree of certainty that she won’t barge in without knocking again, so she’s learned the lesson without you even having to give her a bollocking about barging in without knocking again.

LifesNotEnidBlyton · 04/02/2023 16:25

you're
Typo.

mathanxiety · 04/02/2023 16:26

I agree with you wrt bringing the friends upstairs with her, @JudgeRinderonTinder .

xogossipgirlxo · 04/02/2023 16:26

don’t worry about her, she’s 19 and knows what it’s about. I’d be more annoyed she comes in without knocking 😵‍💫 I never dared to enter my parents bedroom unasked, I didn’t want to see my dad’s naked butt😂

Jamazon1 · 04/02/2023 16:26

I was a similar age when I walked in on my parents having sex. I was mortified, and none of us ever mentioned it. I felt sad I’d interrupted their intimacy and was a lot more careful afterwards!
sounds like your daughter was a bit more inconsiderate though and I hope she’s apologised!

OutFortheBirds · 04/02/2023 16:27

Sounds like DD thought you were out, which is an easy mistake.

But your daughter bringing a group of pals into your room is out of order actually, IMO
I’d not be ok with her bringing her pals to my room. At 19 you should be wise to that.

i know you’re mortified, but I too would style it out. You’re allowed to have sex in your room. They all know what sex is. She’ll probs be more mortified. That’s what she gets 😂

Bamboozle123 · 04/02/2023 16:27

She's 19. She'll be more mortified than you are!

chipsandpeas · 04/02/2023 16:28

neverbeenskiing · 04/02/2023 16:23

Is it possible she thought you were out?

the OP says she thought they were out

Tangerinie · 04/02/2023 16:28

Agree with style it out. She's 19, not 9. You don't need a sit down chat to let her know whay sex is all about!

Put a lock on your door and get on with your life. They'll probably have found it pretty funny. I overheard my parents having sex when friends and I were sitting downstairs and it was quite cringey but not traumatic. Just funny

Catspyjamas17 · 04/02/2023 16:29

She was in the wrong, totally and should apologise. You have nothing to be sorry about.

Slightly extreme way to learn how to knock, though!

UWhatNow · 04/02/2023 16:29

It’s awkward but no need to ‘deal’ with anything. Nobody did anything wrong. Just chalk it up and move on.

seratoninmoonbeams · 04/02/2023 16:30

This is why we installed a sex bolt on the door 😂🤣 teenage age is the worst for these problems

OutFortheBirds · 04/02/2023 16:31

Sex BOLT HAHAHAHAVA

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