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AIBU?

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Original poster

Been caught at it by the kids

366 replies

EmpressOfTheSofa · 04/02/2023 16:11

How the ever loving fuck do I live this down?

Middle child, 19, has just let herself not only into the house but into our room with three friends in tow.

We were in bed. It’s a very very rare Saturday that I’m not at work and the youngest is out. So obviously we made the most of it.

We heard her key in the door (she was at work until midnight as far as we knew), scrambled, but then she flung our bedroom door open to find us in a state of trying to throw clothes on. Two lads and another girl right behind her on the landing. She was looking for my straighteners to borrow. She thought we were out.

I’m fucking furious as well as embarrassed. But what the fuck. How do I deal with this? Is it our fault for not always expecting her home? Hers for having zero boundaries?

who is at fault here? And how should I approach this?

OP posts:
drunkornot · 04/02/2023 18:24

fancyacuppatea · 04/02/2023 18:17

Well...she won't be doing that again...
😉🤭

She definitely will. Have you read all of OPs posts? her daughter wears her underwear…definitely need a lock on the door.

CrescentMoons · 04/02/2023 18:25

You see I would tackle it head on - your dad and I were shagging as you were out don’t you dare bring your friends up the stairs without permission and don’t you dare go in my room ever again - put a lock on and lock it when you go out or go to bed

Patineur · 04/02/2023 18:25

DH has just said that he thinks we are at fault. The kids should have free rein to come and go. Fuckeroo.

With every respect, your DH is a total idiot.

DidyouNO · 04/02/2023 18:25

Even our 10year old knows to knock and wait and would never be rude enough to bring friends upstairs. She's 19!! Absolutely ridiculous behaviour.

TitoMojito · 04/02/2023 18:28

"Oh mate. We were far from under the duvet."

Love that 😂

But yeah, get a lock. I think that's the only solution, not just to this but to her general inability to stop going into your room and taking your stuff.

LibrariansGiveUsPower · 04/02/2023 18:28

She just had a valuable lesson on why you knock on doors. She’s 18, she should know better.

MeanCanadianLady · 04/02/2023 18:28

Patineur · 04/02/2023 18:22

You shouldn't have bothered to scramble around getting dressed, you should have just grabbed the duvet and stayed in bed. Likewise you shouldn't have bothered with daft excuses about putting the washing away. You're entitled to be in bed on a Saturday afternoon, whether it's for sex, sleep or whatever. As soon as your daughter told you you were gross, you should have told her the only gross person was her for coming to take your stuff when she's been told a million times not to.

And start locking your bedroom door. You shouldn't have to do that to stop a 19 year old from nicking your things, but it looks like it may be your only recourse till she learns.

The next time she stole my underwear I would just shrug and say “your dad jizzed on those.” And then go on and on about how gross she is for wearing knickers/bras that her dad jizzed on.

Yeah I’m disgusting but so is OP’s daughter. Gross behaviour that doesn’t stop requires gross counters.

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 04/02/2023 18:29

neverbeenskiing · 04/02/2023 16:23

Is it possible she thought you were out?

Yep, it's actually stated in the OP. Rtft.

viques · 04/02/2023 18:30

EmpressOfTheSofa · 04/02/2023 16:11

How the ever loving fuck do I live this down?

Middle child, 19, has just let herself not only into the house but into our room with three friends in tow.

We were in bed. It’s a very very rare Saturday that I’m not at work and the youngest is out. So obviously we made the most of it.

We heard her key in the door (she was at work until midnight as far as we knew), scrambled, but then she flung our bedroom door open to find us in a state of trying to throw clothes on. Two lads and another girl right behind her on the landing. She was looking for my straighteners to borrow. She thought we were out.

I’m fucking furious as well as embarrassed. But what the fuck. How do I deal with this? Is it our fault for not always expecting her home? Hers for having zero boundaries?

who is at fault here? And how should I approach this?

Well, she is nineteen. So tell her since it was coming up to the 20th anniversary of you having sex for the last time ( when she was conceived) you flung caution to the winds and gave the old bed springs a work out. And guess what darling, turns out it’s like riding a bike, it all comes back to you….

😁

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 04/02/2023 18:30

DH has just said that he thinks we are at fault. The kids should have free rein to come and go. Fuckeroo.

Oh well, no more sex for him then, can't run the risk of her catching you guys at it again. See how long he holds out with that line!

Sarahcoggles · 04/02/2023 18:33

Shekissedagirlandshelikedit · 04/02/2023 16:17

The door was shut, she should have knocked. Were there signs you were home? Car on driveway etc?
On the very odd occasion that we may be in that situation we leave keys in the front door so it can't be unlocked from the outside.

I'd be wary of doing that. I once left the keys in the front door on the inside, and my Mum came round. I was trying to settle baby DS to sleep so I didn't get to the door straight away. Mum used her own key as usual, but found she couldn't open it (due to key on inside) . So she turned a bit harder, managed to open it with a bit of effort - and in so doing, broke the lock. Had to have a whole new lock put on!

Funkyblues101 · 04/02/2023 18:33

I think she will be embarrassed enough for everyone! You'll laugh about it in a few millennia decades.

oakleaffy · 04/02/2023 18:33

seratoninmoonbeams · 04/02/2023 16:30

This is why we installed a sex bolt on the door 😂🤣 teenage age is the worst for these problems

A Sex Bolt🤣🤣🤣🤣

rwalker · 04/02/2023 18:34

The top and bottom of it is she thought you were out
her saying your gross and disgusting is the equivalent of you saying you were putting the washing away

say nothing she’s learnt a lesson tbh feel sorry for her
her friends will be ripping the piss out of her

oakleaffy · 04/02/2023 18:35

Funkyblues101 · 04/02/2023 18:33

I think she will be embarrassed enough for everyone! You'll laugh about it in a few millennia decades.

Excatly🤣
Hell!
Who hasn’t heard their parents

It’s cringe,but in 20 yrs you’ll be laughing 😂

Restinggoddess · 04/02/2023 18:35

She should apologise - as with the previous posts, what was she doing bringing her mates to your room?
She should have better boundaries - knock on a closed door, don’t bring mates up the stairs
Don’t be embarrassed - but yes a sex bolt is rather handy!!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/02/2023 18:36

She would lose her shit if someone took her stuff or went in her room

So what?
At 19 it's perfectly reasonable to expect her to replace things of yours that she's used/spoiled when repeatedly told not to, but with your DH's attitude it's easy to see why she's turned out this way

Hopefully he won't kick off about the (essential) lock on your door, because if he does you've got even bigger problems than you think

Thatiswild · 04/02/2023 18:36

MeanCanadianLady · 04/02/2023 18:21

That’s really cute. You have sex under the duvet all nice like. 😂 Is it missionary for you every single time?

Show quote history

I came to say that’s a bit mean and each to their own but then noticed your username @MeanCanadianLady 😆😆😊

MeanCanadianLady · 04/02/2023 18:38

Thatiswild · 04/02/2023 18:36

I came to say that’s a bit mean and each to their own but then noticed your username @MeanCanadianLady 😆😆😊

Show quote history

You’re right. Lol. I don’t try to be mean everytime though. Perhaps I took it a bit far! Lol the one year old has been sick with the flu for the last two weeks and I probably need to have a good tumble under the duvet to cheer me up! lol!

oakleaffy · 04/02/2023 18:40

DidyouNO · 04/02/2023 18:25

Even our 10year old knows to knock and wait and would never be rude enough to bring friends upstairs. She's 19!! Absolutely ridiculous behaviour.

Parents rooms were always sacrosanct-when friends were around.
Friends NEVER went into them.
Maybe times have changed ?

gamerchick · 04/02/2023 18:40

Go to b&q tomorrow and buy a lockable door knob and fit the fucker. Get in the habit of keeping the door locked when you're out of it and when you're shagging. Your daughter is taking the utter piss out of you OP.

ChimChimeny · 04/02/2023 18:42

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/02/2023 18:20

I would have the biggest lock on my door if she was stealing my stuff.

Me.too, from both sides so it's locked if we were in or out

Maryquitecontrary55 · 04/02/2023 18:42

It's worse for her than it is for you. Parents having sex - bleurgghhh

CinnamonElephant · 04/02/2023 18:43

EmpressOfTheSofa · 04/02/2023 18:14

Oh mate. We were far from under the duvet.

Show quote history

My favourite comment 🤣

RingRingRingGoesTheTelephone · 04/02/2023 18:46

Well you certainly aren't at "fault" having sex in the privacy of your own empty house, your adult daughter however is in the wrong here. She should be mortified not you. Who the hell just walks into their parent's bedroom over the age of 10? She should be apologising to you for embarrassing you.

Get a lock (sex bolt 🤣) if she still lives at home.

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