Neighbour outraged I ignored the door

[Scrumbler]

For context I've lived in my home for 6 years, I have a baby and we get on with our neighbours very well usually.

Yesterday someone banged on the door a few times and I ignored it. I never answer my front door because everyone who I'm expecting use the side door. We get a lot of cold callers and religious people who knock alot so I will never answer it.
Today I see my neighbour and his son has a bandage on and I asked what happened, he'd had an accident yesterday in the street, my neighbour said his wife knocked on my door at the time for me to call an ambulance because she's panicked and left her phone in her house so I said I'd heard the knocking but didn't know what it was.
He looked at me completely gone out and then asked me why I'd ignored her. I explained I obviously didn't know it was an emergency or I would have course answered. But he told me I was selfish and slammed his door as he went in.
I carried on taking my shopping out of the car and then his wife comes out asking if I'd ignored her! I told her I don't answer that door and didn't know it was an emergency but she just went mad shouting how horrible that was and asked what kind of person doesn't answer there door.

I know their probably still shook up but I didn't know what had happened.
To clarify, their child seems fine from what the dad told me before he found out I'd ignored the door and turned out to be a very minor injury. I feel awful it happened but I didn't ignore them on purpose knowing they were needing an ambulance so I think they've been a bit over the top.

Yeah but who doesn’t look out of the window to check? Like a normal person!

She was likely very distressed. She may not have realised that the injury was less severe than it initially appeared. She may have wanted someone else to call the ambulance, while she comforted the injured child.

Distressed people don't always act 100% rationally. But in my view (obviously not in yours!) it's the decent human thing to try to support my neighbours when they need it, if I am able to. Saying, "Well you can do it yourself" in that scenario would be pretty shitty, wouldn't it?

I've been lucky to have had neighbours who looked out for me, and I try to look out for them in turn.

I'd be really interested to know the geographic/socio-demographic/age split of the non openers vs the openers. I imagine it's be eye opening.

I don’t have my neighbours phone numbers, however I’ve had to knock on their doors several times, stuff like a fire alarm in the building, a power outrage or a package that was delivered to me by mistake. This is normal and mundane stuff that happens in communities.

If the OP had opened the door and seen an ambulance wasn't needed, she could even have reassured the neighbour and called a taxi for her. That would be a kind thing to do.

Sitting behind a closed door listening to urgent sounding banging and thinking "not my problem" isn't a way to win friends.

Did you know who was banging on your door? People who don’t like to answer their doors, and I am one of them, almost always still look out a window or something to see who it is, just in case it’s important and not just someone soliciting.

That’s why the neighbors are upset at you. They think you saw it was them and didn’t answer anyway, because you didn’t want to be bothered and you assumed they were knocking (banging, you called it, well it was an emergency) just for no good reason.

That’s the problem. Their son was suddenly injured in an accident and the mother panicked and knocked (banging, you said, with tone of contempt) on your door for help. You didn’t answer then later said, oh I heard the banging but didn’t know what ‘it’ was, leaving open the implication that you might have seen who it was and didn’t want to be bothered.

How would you feel if the situation were reversed?

If you want to be on bad terms forever with the neighbors, go ahead.

But if the neighbors have been good neighbors these six years, then I would personally go over with flowers and explain that you didn’t know it was her, that you were busy with the baby or something (tell the truth though), and assumed it was another stranger as is common. Emphasize that if you had known it was her, you would have instantly answered and tell her you are very sorry you didn’t answer the door as her son was injured and needed help.

Sometimes you need to apologize. I am one of those who will hide in the back of the house to avoid answering the door, but if a neighbor comes and knocks, usually there’s a reason and I wouldn’t ignore them. It’s not like your neighbor does this all the time. Remember, they think you knew it was them or that you flippantly dismissed a panicked knocking on the door, oh I didn’t know what it was. I don’t blame them for being upset.

I answer my door because I have a very noisy barky dog when the door goes so I know no stranger is going to want to come in or even talk if cold calling as they’d have to shout over the barking. It’s a great deterrent so I have no problem opening my door.

"Normal person" really, you are still using language like this?

Get a peephole so you can see who it is so you can decide if you want to ignore it or not.

Or, move to the middle of nowhere so you won’t experience neighbours and cold callers knocking in.

Very very strange behaviour to sit and ignore the front door bell/knocks without looking to see who it is first.

Do people actually not answer their door if they're not expecting someone?

Hello, emergencies?

I find that super weird IMO.

I am 100% with you OP. I used to live in quite a rural area and only cold callers and the JWs used to ring the front door bell during the day when I was often alone in the house with young children. I would have done exactly the same as you. Your neighbours are rude and inconsiderate.

I bet a lot of these posters would change their tune quickly living in a busy city, especially centrally 🤣

I grew up in zone 2 (very rough area), and have also lived in the centre of a large northern city. Still answered my door, and thankfully have usually lived on streets where the neighbours all kept an eye out for each other.

Friendly, well-functioning communities aren't restricted to 'naice' villages.

All these people also bang away at the door like the world is ending, and some can go on forever switching between banging and silence to listen out for activity, like some kind of stupidly determined mind game🙄I wouldn't be able to tell if someone was dying or just wanted to flog me something.

I'm sure the neighbour must have guessed why OP wasn't answering the door, if in. I wonder why she was desperate enough to bang but too embarrassed to shout something to establish her identity.

I never answer my door, and I only have the one door! Ignore them, they are being ridiculous

This

"I was on zoom" is the polite version of "I was having a poo"
If that helps for the future. :)

In your opinion, it's weird. Maybe they think things you do are weird?! I work with people with mental health and literally all of them will ignore the door if they don't know who it is. Just because you don't understand their reasons behind it doesn't make it weird!

I just do not understand this not opening the door thing at all
MN at its finest

Your neighbours were being rude

Some people might find it strange not to open the door, but it's your door not theirs so if you don't want to answer it then that's entirely up to you.

It's strange to me that people struggle to understand that other people feel differently about things to them - I always answer my door because I want to know what it's about, other people don't answer the door because they don't want to know what it's about. I don't know what's strange about it, it's just different - but people seem to really struggle with others thinking differently to them.

I don't understand this not understanding of not opening the door

Typical MN

This thread has made me remember another occasion years ago where someone banged at my door. Urgent banging, repeatedly, early in the morning. I was in bed but dragged myself up regardless (I'm not a morning person) and went to the door.

It was next door's 5 year old saying that his mum (single parent, so no other adult in the house) had fallen down the stairs and he wanted us to help her - which obviously we did, called an ambulance etc.

I guess we could have just left the poor kid to wander the street. I mean, couldn't he call an ambulance himself? How entitled of him! 🙄

This

Op didn’t intentionally ignore the neighbours or their emergency, she ignored the door knock.

I'm a little surprised if you know your neighbours and they are nice - how don't they know to use the side door like others? Have they never needed to knock on your door before?

The OP, @Scrumbler, has posted ONCE on this thread. I came back to have a look - 450 posts all arguing the toss. It's a sociological phenomenon