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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So angry with H annual leave

411 replies

EveryDayIsA · 30/01/2023 06:58

DD isn't very well, was up most of the night last night, we finally settled down at 4.30, she's just awaken. Whilst I was up with her H was happily snoring away on the sofa. This morning I've just asked him if he can have her a couple of hours so I can go back to sleep. He said no as he is on leave this week so I need to treat it like he isn't here as im normally on my own mondays. Now I already get resentful over H's leave as all my leave is taken up for DDs hols, but he said that's fine as I don't work Mon and Wednesdays (albeit still have DD on these days)

Your being unreasonable - he is on leave and this time is his, he wouldn't normally be here anyway

Your not being unreasonable - he's not at work so should help you out

OP posts:
monicagellerbing · 30/01/2023 06:59

What the fuck!! He's a selfish nasty prick. Leave your DD with him and go to bed. Is he normally this abusive?

Dragonsandcats · 30/01/2023 07:00

What a selfish idiot. I’d go out and leave your dd with him.

BoringLittleMe · 30/01/2023 07:00

What a dick.

Hercisback · 30/01/2023 07:00

Unless by a drip feed she's not his child, he's a twat.
I bet this isn't the only twat thing he does.

NEmama · 30/01/2023 07:00

What a wanker

Akite · 30/01/2023 07:01

I can't quite fathom his reason for not helping because he's on leave but wouldn't normally be there? But he is there!
he sounds like a lazy, useless arse who needs to pull his finger out and do some parenting.

BibbleandSqwauk · 30/01/2023 07:01

Absolutely no way. He's a parent. When do you get your child free annual leave?

underneaththeash · 30/01/2023 07:01

Eh? Is it not his daughter too..

Why is he on the sofa?

Original poster
EveryDayIsA · 30/01/2023 07:01

monicagellerbing · 30/01/2023 06:59

What the fuck!! He's a selfish nasty prick. Leave your DD with him and go to bed. Is he normally this abusive?

Unfortunately the more times goes on this behaviour is becoming normal for him. Always makes me question though if it's me in the wrong.

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 30/01/2023 07:01

He is on leave from work, not from his life. He should be willing to look after his child so you can get some kip on the rare day that he is able to as not in work. He is off all week .

Turnthelightoff · 30/01/2023 07:01

I’d be finding it very easy to act like he isn’t here in that case. No drinks or food being made for him! Honestly this is awful! What precious plans does he have for his leave? Wait til your DD is at school and you will have no choice but to share annual leave to care for her in the holidays.

Original poster
EveryDayIsA · 30/01/2023 07:02

No no, definitely his child. He was on the sofa as she came into my bed as she's unwell

OP posts:
pilates · 30/01/2023 07:03

FFS arsehole 😡

44PumpLane · 30/01/2023 07:04

If he's on leave that should make it EASIER for him to support his wife and child........when do you get your annual leave from Mondays and Wednesdays?

Honestly is there anywhere you could go to go to sleep? Do you have a friend or relative round the corner where you could take a pillow and a blanket and just leave your house and leave him to it?

Andrelaxzz · 30/01/2023 07:04

What does he actually do that is of use? Or is his important job all that is counted.

Honestly I couldn't live with a man like this. So selfish, lazy and self absorbed.

rookiemere · 30/01/2023 07:04

Definitely not normal.
I'd go out and work from a coffee shop and leave him to it.

megletthesecond · 30/01/2023 07:04

My ex was like this. If he was on leave it was a nice break for him.

Youcangoyourownwayyyy · 30/01/2023 07:05

Tell him today your taking leave and leave him and his dc at home for the day

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/01/2023 07:05

It’s not you, it’s him.

Tell him he will end up using 100% of his leave looking after DD when you divorce and split custody 50/50.

Then give DD to him, get some sleep, wake up and look fir a solicitor.

namechange3394 · 30/01/2023 07:07

He's on leave from work not his family! Bloody hell.

This would make me so angry I'd consider LTB tbh.

NotLovingWFH · 30/01/2023 07:07

He’s not unique in this but he’s very much wrong. Annual leave is just time off work not all responsibilities. Unless he wants to be an EoW Dad he needs to do his bit to make family life run smoothly for all of you not just him.

bussteward · 30/01/2023 07:07

His logic is completely fucked up. What an irredeemable arsehole.

Original poster
EveryDayIsA · 30/01/2023 07:07

If I'm honest I think everyone is just telling me what I already know. He is selfish, never used to be but getting worse. I'm one of these women that keep telling myself I need to leave, but I never will.

OP posts:
jannier · 30/01/2023 07:09

Leave is for doing household chores not feet up then everyone can have a few hours ....I suppose he thinks you do all that anyway

Quartz2208 · 30/01/2023 07:09

He is on leave from work not parenting

and why never leave