So angry with H annual leave

[EveryDayIsA]

DD isn't very well, was up most of the night last night, we finally settled down at 4.30, she's just awaken. Whilst I was up with her H was happily snoring away on the sofa. This morning I've just asked him if he can have her a couple of hours so I can go back to sleep. He said no as he is on leave this week so I need to treat it like he isn't here as im normally on my own mondays. Now I already get resentful over H's leave as all my leave is taken up for DDs hols, but he said that's fine as I don't work Mon and Wednesdays (albeit still have DD on these days)

Your being unreasonable - he is on leave and this time is his, he wouldn't normally be here anyway

Your not being unreasonable - he's not at work so should help you out

Don’t ever let him know you have savings as he will bully you into using it to clear his debts.
research cheaper properties near your work/ public transport and have a plan in place to move in September.

Have a word with him…. This has so wound me up on your behalf. Hope he’s not gaslighting you about your feelings/boundaries on things, because it shouldn’t need pages and pages of women telling you he’s out of order to confirm this! Regardless of your family dynamic, if the kids are poorly and you’re both available (e.g. not working from home or sleeping due to shift patterns) you should both be chipping in to support each other and your daughter. Lay down the law sister!

Agree with everyone's comments, but being angry won't help. I'd use this situation to ask him why he is so unhappy with the relationship which he must be to act like this

wgat was he doing? did he have the time off for a particular task that he was worried he wouldn't finish, like fixing something or decorating?

Since having kids there have been 4 reasons that either me or DH have used annual leave: to cover childcare, to all have time off together as a family, to have child-free time to get jobs done on the house, or to attend a wedding. Having a whole week off just for the sake off it is extravagant, refusing to help when he is able to and you are struggling is disgusting, and the fact that you've even considered the possibility that you could be the unreasonable one tells me he's probably spent a lot of time gaslighting you.

I am a man and have 3 kids. Kids are a shared responsibility. If he works and you don’t (that’s how I read the post), and he expects his 25 days annual leave then ask him where are yours. Looking after kids all day is very hard

I can’t even be bothered to vote.

Your husband’s a cunt.

It's definitely NOT you! He sounds as abusive, lazy and contrlond tw**t, just like my ex husband was. Get out of this marriage, the sooner the better.

i have one if the husbands. I thought I couldn’t leave too - but trust me it gets worse incrementally until one day you realise you have been isolated from everyone you once knew and you have become his stay at home slave.

i contacted the DA helpline and they told me some men exercise male privilege and just absolutely think they are exempt from traditional childcare. It is abuse.

i had the very same barriers you face (i have 3 under 5) but realised these barriers were placed there by him as another means of control. I’ve worked through mine and will be fleeing soon; you can do it too 💐

Complete and utter selfish prick! Wth

What an arsehole. Leave him.