Breast feeding in baby change room

[CreativeCreature]

Today, our local supermarket has one baby change room. DD desperately needed changing before it became a whole outfit change. Lady was in there 45mins breast feeding, I had to use disabled toilet & change DD. AIBU to think she was selfish?

I knocked on more to check she was okay, she came to the door shouting she’d only just started feeding her baby & slammed the door. She was then in there for another 30 mins. So a total of 45 mins.

It would annoy me if there was no alternative place to change baby properly (ie not on a bathroom floor)

It would all depend on the space. Some places have communal baby rooms with multiple change mats and chairs for feeding, bottle warmers etc. - my partner was asked to leave with our son because a woman was breastfeeding.

If it was purely a changing room then she was unreasonable. If it was a family room designed for single use she wasn’t unreasonable. If it was a communal space then she was unreasonable.

More places need to be breastfeeding friendly.

YANBU but it’s the supermarkets fault not hers, a few places I’ve been have a separate room for breast feeding and changing which is really handy. Or a shared room with no lock. Or a screen for the breast feeding part of the room.

Places need to get with the times really and lot assume breast feeding women should stay at home until their baby stops.

It would also be handy if they had a changing table in the womens on the wall as well as the baby changing room so there’s a second option, although I sometimes HATE where they position this as sometimes they’re right next to the sink while someone washes their hands or over the bin.

Not assume*

If you could wait 30 minutes you weren’t in a rush
you had an alternative which worked

Was there a baby change thing in the disabled loo?

I'm guessing feeding for 45 minutes sat in a supermarket wasn't her primary choice in life so whilst she bu to shout at you IF you were polite and only knocked once, not everyone feels comfortable and able to just pop baby in and feed walking round the veg aisle

No there wasn’t

i waited 15 mins in total. The other 30 mins I was sat in the cafe next to the baby change 🙄

Can’t believe you waited 45 mins to be fair, I would have lost patience after 10 😂😂

Also how old is DD? I’ve had to change DS 2, in the odd normal toilet or even in his buggy before now when there’s been no baby change. You just get on with it rather than lose 45 mins of your day. Harder if they’ve done a poop though to be fair!

Oh just seen your update on the time 😊

She wasn't selfish, she had a hungry baby she didn't feel comfortable feeding round the supermarket so did what she had to in order to settle her baby.

Its unfortunate that you also needed the room, although it wasn't that much of an emergency if you waited half an hour.

You both managed to do what you needed to in less than ideal circumstances 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ime it is entirely possible to sit on a closed loo seat and change a nappy...
Needs must over the years and multiple dc. Never enough facilities
.

Should have added dc over your knees not on the floor!

What do you expect her to do though? Feed in the toilets? Stand in the middle of the aisles?

Its unfortunate you both needed the room at the same time but at the end of the day she was there first and didn’t do anything wrong.

It’s more appropriate for you to change the nappy in the normal toilets than it is for her to feed her baby there.

I’m two kids deep and I still can’t change a baby on my knees.

It's weird that she didn't just sit in the cafe to feed the baby. If she felt that odd about people looking, she could get a muslin from the shop to help cover up.

No she wasn't selfish. You both needed the room. She got there first.

The issue is with the inadequate facilities provided by the supermarket.

Blew my mind when I saw my childminder do it, I don’t think it had ever occurred to me. Only tried it once though with dc3 in a restaurant in France which only just had a loo let alone a baby change.

I think you're right here. If it was a toilet and not a changing space, I'd expect a pretty quick turn around. That's assuming that they have a cafe or somewhere else to sit and feed. If not, then I guess the mum didn't have much choice. I've changed my babies on toilet floors more often than I can remember. I try and take changing mats with me, but if not then I use my coat or cardigan. Not ideal, but it gets the job done.

That was very selfish of her. Why do people do this. The room was for changing not breastfeeding. She could have bf in the cafe.

It gives me the skivs tbh.

Both my kids have only ever been changed on the changing table when at home, on changing table (with a puppy pad!) when out and about, or on the ground if no changing table is available.

alao always wash my hands even after a pee nappy which apparently isn’t universal 🤢

It's not weird at all.

Some women are new to breastfeeding and nervous. Some babies - especially new ones - are fretful during feeds and it's less stressful with privacy. Some women have had bad experiences when feeding in public and been challenged. Some women have a crazy oversupply that is difficult to manage and can be messy. Some women forget to wear breastfeeding friendly clothes before leaving the house and find that they can't feed the baby without flashing much more flesh than they'd like/would be allowed in public (done this several times with dresses). Some babies are extremely wriggly and loud and nosy and attract unwanted attention.

There are dozens and dozens of reasons why a breastfeeding mother may choose privacy and none of them are weird.

Yeah, that's a long answer but it is a bit weird.

You couldn't pay me to sit in a manky supermarket baby change for 5 minutes, let alone 45.

I've always thought that it's rediculous to have a baby changing in with a feeding place. Last time I saw it was in a Debenhams though, so doesn't exist any more! It had a door with a lock, then a changing area, then a comfy seat for feeding. No other changing space in any other toilet area. I remember thinking 'what a stupid set up', but presumed it was there to just tick boxes to say they had both available.

I did have to just change baby on the floor of a normal toilet a few times - tried not to think about how gross it was at the time. Most memorable was Manchester airport: accessible toilets out of order (yes probably could have trekked somewhere else but we were at the gate): 'normal' toilets where signed that they were mixed male and female toilets, so I very much remember hating having to walk into mixed-sex toilets, squeezing me, toddler DS and baby DS into a small cubical, changing baby on the disgusting floor, then pleading and bribing toddler DS not to open the door while I used the toilet because I would be absolutely mortified if he'd have opened the door it in a mixed-sex toilet. (he has done it before in a female toilet. And yes, it was not pleasant, but at learnt there were no men there).

So, after my very long-winded story, I would absolutely not blame the woman - I've gone through period where my baby would not feed in public, he'd pull off and scream whilst my nipple waved around mid-air in a crowded place. I'd absolutely blame the shop for their stupid placement of a designated feeding place along with the only changing place.

She should have bf in the cafe, her needs are not greater than a baby needing changing