Page 8 | Breast feeding in baby change room

CreativeCreature · 2023-01-28T20:41:21+00:00

Today, our local supermarket has one baby change room. DD desperately needed changing before it became a whole outfit change. Lady was in there 45mins breast feeding, I had to use disabled toilet & change DD. AIBU to think she was selfish? I knocked on more to check she was okay, she came to the door shouting she’d only just started feeding her baby & slammed the door. She was then in there for another 30 mins. So a total of 45 mins.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/01/2023 22:27

Slowingdownagain · 29/01/2023 19:07

I bf for 4.5 years between my two. No bfing woman would be kicked out a supermarket cafe for not purchasing anything.

she was selfish because she was using - for a really long time - the one facility available for, and purposely designated, for nappy changing. And I assume accessible toilet. For something that could easily and more appropriately be done elsewhere.

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BF mom wasn't in the disabled loo, op went into the disabled loo to change her baby

Lavender14 · 30/01/2023 01:56

Cotswoldmama · 29/01/2023 08:07

I think it was really selfish of her, she could feed her baby anywhere, you said you had to wait in the cafe. That would be the perfect place to feed a baby. You on the other hand can't change a nappy anywhere. If she doesn't like to feed in public I think she should be prepared with some sort of cover. I don't think shops should have provide areas to breast feed in because that makes it seem like they don't support breastfeeding anywhere but those areas.

I'm really impressed with how adept everyone seems to be at bf that they can pop out a baby and immediately feel confident feeding in public! I struggled massively with oversupply and a very forceful letdown. When I'm sitting with a choking baby, milk streaming out his nose and trying to tap him on the back to clear his airways with a boob hanging out while shooting a steady stream of milk 2.5foot across the room a cafe is NOT where I want to be. And I'm very sure anyone in the splash zone wouldn't really want me there either to be fair! Not to mention women who wouldn't want to feed in public for religious reasons or who've had negative experiences in the past or who need to be able to see what they're doing especially in the early days which can be hard under a cover. Not every woman drives or has access to a car handy to nip out to when needing to feed so another private space is needed. I probably would have asked op if she'd mind letting me feed while she changed the nappy but I can see why if the woman was struggling she might not have felt able to do that.

JudgeRudy · 30/01/2023 03:54

Did you say you needed to use the room too? It's possible she didn't know that. If she did yes it's selfish assuming you could squeeze you all in. It's not pleasant being next to another child's nappy but I think you'd get more stares than her doing it in the open.

Slowingdownagain · 30/01/2023 08:26

SleepingStandingUp · 29/01/2023 22:25

But does she know that? Does she have the confidence to walk in and sit down, get baby latched and start feeding? Or are they worried someone will come over and tell them off? We've already had people say they've been "offered" somewhere else to feed and thankfully they had the confidence to say no thanks. There's also the "exposure" thing of getting your breast "out" in public.
I'm not saying bf Mom covered herself in glory, she should have offered to share the space, I'm just saying there's a reason she's hiding in a baby change and it's unlikely to be neckar she's a selfish cow who likes babies to wallow in poo.

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Or maybe she feels like becuase it's to do with her baby she's entitled to inconvenience bascially everyone else in the world. Let's be honest, there is an air of that with some mums, espeically those with their PFB.

Do I think she was doing it out of spite? Of course not. She was likely stressed with a screaming hungry baby. That doesn't prevent her being selfish and inconsiderate at the same time.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/01/2023 09:04

Slowingdownagain · 30/01/2023 08:26

Or maybe she feels like becuase it's to do with her baby she's entitled to inconvenience bascially everyone else in the world. Let's be honest, there is an air of that with some mums, espeically those with their PFB.

Do I think she was doing it out of spite? Of course not. She was likely stressed with a screaming hungry baby. That doesn't prevent her being selfish and inconsiderate at the same time.

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And it doesn't prevent people from saying OK she was BU but sometimes life's just hard.

Not sitting timing her to gripe about her on the Internet where she's possibly reading it with so many people calling her all sorts.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/01/2023 09:06

@Cotswoldmama op didn't sit in a cafe for 30 minutes with a poop-riddled baby. She used the disabled loo then went and had a cuppa

Emmamoo89 · 30/01/2023 09:51

Lavender14 · 30/01/2023 01:56

I'm really impressed with how adept everyone seems to be at bf that they can pop out a baby and immediately feel confident feeding in public! I struggled massively with oversupply and a very forceful letdown. When I'm sitting with a choking baby, milk streaming out his nose and trying to tap him on the back to clear his airways with a boob hanging out while shooting a steady stream of milk 2.5foot across the room a cafe is NOT where I want to be. And I'm very sure anyone in the splash zone wouldn't really want me there either to be fair! Not to mention women who wouldn't want to feed in public for religious reasons or who've had negative experiences in the past or who need to be able to see what they're doing especially in the early days which can be hard under a cover. Not every woman drives or has access to a car handy to nip out to when needing to feed so another private space is needed. I probably would have asked op if she'd mind letting me feed while she changed the nappy but I can see why if the woman was struggling she might not have felt able to do that.

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Some women are definitely not confident enough and she's definitely not selfish. Certainly not going to let the poor baba startve so she found somewhere private. I couldn't careless about getting my boobs out in public my first instinct is to feed my son but not everyone is like this and is shy

MagAmberson · 30/01/2023 12:13

I don't think anyone would expect her to let her baby starve but even if she was dealing with oversupply or a baby who spews up feeds I still think she could have allowed another mother to come in and use the facilities instead of monopolising it

Verbena17 · 09/02/2023 20:20

Did you travel there in your car? If yes, the boot is a great place to change nappies. Keep a blanket /change mat in there just in case and then you can nip
back to change them if needed.