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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF and the City

415 replies

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 14:54

I live in NYC.

A couple of months ago, an old friend got in touch with me for the first time in about a year and expressed that she wanted to come to the US on holiday. I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Just now, she's said to me "I'm arriving on March 10th and heading to New Orleans on the 17th. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

Needless to say, she never even asked. I'm quite breathtaken by the cheek. Last time I saw this girl was 6 years ago, when she....invited herself to stay (different city).

I'm not down to save this girl $2,000 in hotel and convenience bills. But how should I phrase my reply? Hold me back....

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 27/01/2023 19:13

ChimChimeny · 27/01/2023 18:43

On my god, are you Carrie Bradshaw "can't have anyone talking shit about my boyfriend" in the sailor episode 😃

I was just coming on to say that!

elliesmummy19 · 27/01/2023 19:27

Great response, OP! Please do update when she replies!

MeridianB · 27/01/2023 19:38

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 18:25

@ImmigrantAlice Harlem. It's actually a great neighborhood when you get used to it, but can be shocking for tourists.

OP, I know just what you mean. And the upper west side isn’t much different these day, either.

Tulipomania · 27/01/2023 19:39

I know from experience that most apartments in NYC are TINY. Very few people have space for guests. Even the hotel rooms are quite small!

WednesdaysNameIsFullOfWoe · 27/01/2023 19:43

Tulipomania · 27/01/2023 19:39

I know from experience that most apartments in NYC are TINY. Very few people have space for guests. Even the hotel rooms are quite small!

They do vary quite a lot. I had about 100sq m in my last one, which was two bedrooms.

Cornelious2011 · 27/01/2023 19:45

Your message was perfect.

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/01/2023 19:54

"Hi Cuntyfucker,

Oh dear, it never was ok for you to stay with us, what on EARTH gave you that idea?

We're happy to recommend some places to see, things to do whilst you're here, but we're not in the business of saving casual acquaintances thousands of dollars on hotel feels by being total mugs.

Have a great stay...somewhere else!"

CountZacular · 27/01/2023 20:05

I have nothing to contribute but really want to know what CF replies - so place marking!

ShirleyPhallus · 27/01/2023 20:07

I think my favourite thing about these threads is all the people who go to the effort of typing out specific messages that they would never have the guts to send themselves, even 10 pages in to the thread

OvaryActions · 27/01/2023 20:17

ShirleyPhallus · 27/01/2023 20:07

I think my favourite thing about these threads is all the people who go to the effort of typing out specific messages that they would never have the guts to send themselves, even 10 pages in to the thread

👏🏽😆 yes

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 27/01/2023 20:23

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 15:09

Toying with sliding some true shithole places into my recommendations also. Never make a reservation at Piccolo Angolo in the west village y'all

The clue is in the name, to be fair..

Tweetle · 27/01/2023 20:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TheProblemIsMe · 27/01/2023 20:30

Shamelessly placemarking to read the reply.......

Hawkins001 · 27/01/2023 20:34

All the best

MrsMikeDrop · 27/01/2023 20:35

BubziOwl · 27/01/2023 15:02

"I don't remember discussing you staying over - we must have crossed wires. Sadly I'm not able to have any overnight guests, but I'd love to meet up whilst you're in the city! Let me know when works for you."

This. If you want to meet of course. And maybe a couple of recommendations if you want to be nice (although they don't deserve it!)

Soomanyquestions · 27/01/2023 20:44

@ThePriceOfSugar if you don’t mind do you have any recommendations for hotels/air b&bs? I’m going soon🗽

EffortlessDesmond · 27/01/2023 20:52

I have a tiny studio apartment, there's no room for a visitor, and I can't cope with work and trying to host. NYC work is never easy going. I need my space to keep coping with the pressure. Happy to meet, will ask around for accommodation that has worked for friends' guests in the area.

mackthepony · 27/01/2023 21:08

Sorry, unfortunately my place isn't suitable to accommodate guests

^

This is so great and SO British 😂😂🇬🇧🇬🇧👏

EffortlessDesmond · 27/01/2023 21:12

I did live in NYC, many years ago, and I had a spare room then too. But I didn't take visitors either, unless they were really close friends who could occupy themselves while I worked. And even 35 years ago, I worked until 8 pm most nights. That is the reality of the commitment level needed to succeed and proceed in NY. Very different if you are an admin/clerical person.

ThePriceOfSugar · 27/01/2023 21:17

@EffortlessDesmond You get it. And now we all work from home. When my best friend stayed, I gave him my bedroom and slept on my own pull-out couch in my office, because I needed that room 12h of the day. It was incredibly uncomfortable for me, and he was confused as to why I couldn't go out for an hour-long coffee break at 10:30am.

Adored and invited guests only!

OP posts:
EffortlessDesmond · 27/01/2023 21:17

I don't mean to be awkward here, but there is/was and probably will always be the assumption that you have come to NYC to play in the big leagues. So no, there really isn't much scope for being hospitable, because NY is always mostly about professional success. Come to shop and sightsee, and stay in an hotel; there are loads.

WednesdaysNameIsFullOfWoe · 27/01/2023 21:22

The big issue we had with visitors was their inability to understand that we lived and worked there. We didn’t want to spend our evenings and weekends taking them round tourist sites, or shopping with them.

One guest, when I said I needed to go to a supermarket on the Saturday was totally put out, but I wanted to get food in for in the week.

EffortlessDesmond · 27/01/2023 21:22

@ThePriceOfSugar Palisades Avenue, Joisey City. It was rough as badgers in 1980 and has probably come up a lot since I left. But yes, I lived it.

EffortlessDesmond · 27/01/2023 21:30

I used to get 'guests' wished on me by my mum's friends. So-and-so is travelling in the US. You will put them up for a few days to see NY won't you? I provided floor space and a duvet, handed them a subway map and generally they were so terrified of 1980s NYC that they stayed in, vegged in front of my B/W TV and loved it.

Motelschmotel · 27/01/2023 21:33

Just dropping in mention that it’s no accident that we don’t have a spare room…

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