CF and the City

[ThePriceOfSugar]

I live in NYC.

A couple of months ago, an old friend got in touch with me for the first time in about a year and expressed that she wanted to come to the US on holiday. I said cool, I'll give you my recommendations for NYC.

Just now, she's said to me "I'm arriving on March 10th and heading to New Orleans on the 17th. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?"

Needless to say, she never even asked. I'm quite breathtaken by the cheek. Last time I saw this girl was 6 years ago, when she....invited herself to stay (different city).

I'm not down to save this girl $2,000 in hotel and convenience bills. But how should I phrase my reply? Hold me back....

I agree @LostInTheColonies kiwi hospitality is legendary.

Please write this!!

🍿

She's just another CF who thought she could manipulate you into it even when you clearly didn't offer.

6 years since you have seen each other?

Honestly I can't see the angst, she's just a chancer and why you would even reply is beyond me.

If she has your address don't be surprised if she turns up.

She has budgeted on you being her accommodation, CF don't give up easily.

She's considering her best emotional blackmail strategy. It takes time. There might be another thread somewhere where her bestie has brutally pulled accommodation out from under her and now she can't afford her very expensive holiday and will lose all her money.

👌

It does seem to be a NZ thing to crash with people IME but at the very least she could have rung you to ask not just sent a message. As she was not exactly the perfect guest last time then I totally understand why you have said no (plus you WFH).

@Stravaig 👏🤣

I'm spotting a pattern among your friends...

There are many hostels in New York and these have kitchens with cooking facilities and fridges. She'll just have to pull her finger out and book a slot at somewhere in line with her budget!

Should have offered to have her based on charging a nightly fee 😉

Just tell her it isn't convenient, you don't need to give details. Suggest a good AirBandB for her and say sorry, it isn't convenient. She'll get the message.

With a bit of luck you won’t hear from her ever again?!…

She's planning on turning up and pretending she didn't see the message.

Ah yes, like the acquaintance of the couple who lived in a desirable foreign country who were working to a deadline on "a large installation". They ignored her when she arrived with her suitcase.

at least you’ve told her so she now won’t turn up at your door!!

You never know... it has happened before...

Could not agree more! I’m in!

menopause is a superpower! I see through all BS, manipulation and narcissism now with 20/20 clarity.

shame I can’t read a sodding list of ingredients or a form I’m supposed to sign, which i suppose in turn gives me the rage I need to fight on for the NoBS Army…

She's planning on turning up and pretending she didn't see the message.

OP, can you screenshot the message thread? That way you'll have some proof that she's read it.

I was just thinking the same thing!

I like the dilemma message too.

Is she keeping quiet so she can say
she didn’t see your message?
Why not send her info on places she can stay now.
Just a ….as I follow up, here’s some places to stay….

There was a thread a while ago where someone pressured OP to let her stay, she said no and the woman turned up anyway with a suitcase. OP and her husband worked in a studio at their home on commission (they had a huge project on which was one reason she'd said no) so they were in the garden and she just ignored all the messages.

Can anyone find it?

Good idea!

Found it.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4624579-cf-acquaintance-turned-up-today-despite-refusing-invite