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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

CF Acquaintance turned up today despite refusing invite

910 replies

Grumpusaurus · 02/09/2022 01:04

We live in a popular tourist destination and after numerous people took advantage of us, we nip it in the bud now. Most seem to follow the same script by contacting us out of the blue and mentioning that it would be so lovely to see us. I now answer in a very friendly manner that it has been years since we last heard from them and it would indeed be lovely to catch up over coffee in a nearby spot when they are in the area. This does tend to put an end to most of those potential CFs, however, one acquaintance pushed back and asked to stay with us at the beginning of September. I told her that this would not be possible, especially as we have a very tight deadline and will be working flat out to finish a commission. DH and I are self-employed craftspeople and sometimes we do work all day and most of the night to finish pieces and the DC stay at their grandparents during that last push. Not heard back from the acquaintance since July even though she clearly read my WhatsApp message.

The doorbell went this evening, I ignored it as DH and I were in the middle of working on our commission but someone kept pushing the bell. Our property is an L-shape so you can see from our workshop who is at the front door. CF acquaintance was standing there with a suitcase! DH is more of a people pleaser and while really cheesed off was about to answer the door till I told him no bloody way! He redeemed himself by immediately agreeing. The bell went a few more times and then got a flurry of WhatsApp messages, which I ignored. She eventually left after half an hour. I am almost bemused by the cheek of it but there is no way I am going to let anyone railroad me into being their free accommodation and greatly inconveniencing us, especially while we literally get up to work all hours and fall into bed. DH is fretting about her coming back but I told that we will just continue to ignore the doorbell. We have a back gate to a dirt track we can stealth like leave the property if she is holding a siege at the front door 😎 There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs in the area, albeit quite dear. Who does that! A rhetorical question but am just shocked by the cheek of just turning up after saying emphatically No!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Clymene · 02/09/2022 01:08

God that is really rude! Good on you for ignoring her.

NewIdeasToday · 02/09/2022 01:10

Why didn’t you just open the door and explain the situation though? Surely that would remove all the drama and allow yin to be clear about the position??

CaptaNoctem · 02/09/2022 01:18

I would have ignored it too

purpleme12 · 02/09/2022 01:20

Maybe she was coming to see you but had booked a hotel or whatever still?

VintageVest · 02/09/2022 01:22

Ha! What a cheek! What did her messages say?

BruceAndNosh · 02/09/2022 01:23

Dying to know what the messages said!

Loachworks · 02/09/2022 01:29

I need to know what her messages said...

CuriousMama · 02/09/2022 01:31

That's so entitled!

custardbear · 02/09/2022 01:32

Bloody hell, the cheek!! Good for you standing your ground, albeit silently lol 😆

DoctorManhattan · 02/09/2022 01:34

purpleme12 · 02/09/2022 01:20

Maybe she was coming to see you but had booked a hotel or whatever still?

Standing at the door with a suitcase? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . .

Good on you OP, I have absolutely no time for self entitled CFs like this, especially those who take advantage of the previous generosity of others. Ignores your message and turns up at your home anyway? Unreal.

templesit · 02/09/2022 01:36

O
M
G

I actually can't believe the cheek of them!

You did right to ignore. How entitled do they think they are being told no and still turning up anyway!

Make sure dh doesn't back down- show him these messages!

Grumpusaurus · 02/09/2022 01:39

Once you open the door though, especially in the evening, it becomes much more of a drama and a lot harder to refuse entry or turf them out! We really do not need that right now. It's her problem to sort out, not ours! I reckon that this is what she was banking on by just trying to put us on the spot. Apart from a few loo breaks and waiting a few minutes between processes, very briefly catching up on the phone/quick mooch on MN, we are solidly busy. I told her that we did not have any spare time to catch up, even a flying visit was very inconvenient. In any case, she should have messaged and not just turn up.

This isn't really any drama, my flabber is just rather gasted by the sheer nerve of it. DH and I were joking about her staging a siege at our front door. She is the kind of person that tries to get her own way but this won't fly with me. I don't really have time for a proper bitch catch-up with friends, so just wanted to vent and hopefully laugh about it here. It's more of a WTF rather than major issue for us to be fair. Gotta get back from 'loo break' to continue with project.

Our property is single story and we have no balcony to pour boiling oil on invading marauders in case you were wondering 😁

OP posts:
Remaker · 02/09/2022 01:43

Just when you think you’ve heard the ultimate taking the piss story someone levels up. Who does that? I won’t even turn up for a cup of tea without checking first. Hope she doesn’t show up again OP, keep the curtains closed!

Grumpusaurus · 02/09/2022 01:44

Not opening the messages, as do not want her to see that I read them. Really don't want to be drawn into anything. Otherwise it may wind me up. Plus it will be most likely her letting me know that she has arrived and is outside our place. Right, DH is getting rather unsubtle about me getting my behind back to our project 😄

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 02/09/2022 01:47

quick mooch on MN

No such thing

ChaosTrulyReigns · 02/09/2022 01:48

If you open whatsapp and press and hold her message you can sort of pre-read them without actually opening them.

Get SwoonyCraftsDH to send you a whatsapp message so you can try out your skills on that first.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 02/09/2022 01:49

BruceAndNosh · 02/09/2022 01:47

quick mooch on MN

No such thing

Never a truer word spoken

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 02/09/2022 01:49

Ooh I would open the messages.
If she says she’s here with her suitcase I would just scroll up to the message and reply to that one

Shame you ignored this message. Could have saved yourself the trip.

CactusBlossom · 02/09/2022 01:50

What a cheek! You did absolutely the right thing by not answering the door and not reading the messages. She asked to stay and you said no. Either she finds somewhere to stay (and has to pay) or home she goes!

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 02/09/2022 01:51

You can also turn off the read message thing and the ticks stay grey.

If you have notifications set on you can also read them on screen without the other person knowing.

Sling · 02/09/2022 01:51

I just want to know what kind of craft/art you do? But then I guess its outing but I have an image of you and your DH constructing boulder sized sculptures with small chisels....

Gooseysgirl · 02/09/2022 01:55

This is utterly brilliant - CF indeed, well done OP!

Theendofnature · 02/09/2022 02:09

Omg

EmmaH2022 · 02/09/2022 02:18

Did she never reply to the whatsapp messages saying no?

NaturalBae · 02/09/2022 02:22

Well done for not opening the door! CF!
I’ve got form for not opening my door to unexpected visitors. It’s worked as they now call/message first. Boundaries. Do not back down.

I agree that answering the door would lead to all sorts of unnecessary drama and delays that you definitely do not need right now. You were clear enough when you told her no in your last WhatsApp message to her two months ago. Not your problem.