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AIBU?

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Original poster

I need advice please - what the fuck do I do about this?

236 replies

forfuckssake23 · 26/01/2023 20:42

I received a message on FB messenger from a 16 year old boy who claims to be a friend of my DD (also 16). They live in opposite ends of the country and have never met but have been messaging and FaceTiming and according to DD became "friends" over FaceTime.

He has messaged me directly saying "do you know what bad things your daughter has been doing?"

I asked him what and he alleges that she had accused an ex boyfriend of "trying to rape her". This sounds not remotely like my daughter at all, so I spoke to her straight away and she was tearful saying "he's pissed off with me because I didn't message him all day, he's trying to get me in trouble". Apparently he has messaged her ex boyfriend to tell him that my DD has falsely accused him of trying to rape her. My DD looked me in the face and swore to me on her baby sister's life that she has done nothing of the sort and he is just trying to stir up trouble for her because she didn't message him today and they had an argument about this. I believe her.

This kid is however continuing to message me things like "so what are you going to do about it then?" etc.

How the fuck do I handle this? I mean obviously I could just block him but I am SO angry that he is invented this story about my daughter.

OP posts:
Familyoffour95 · 26/01/2023 20:43

I would threaten to report him to the police unless he stopped.

Original poster
forfuckssake23 · 26/01/2023 20:44

I really want to but Is he committing an offence by making up these malicious lies? Would the police do anything?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 26/01/2023 20:44

contact his mum and dad and tell them he's harassing your DD and if it doesn't stop you will take it to the police?

smoosandsmed · 26/01/2023 20:45

Brefugee · 26/01/2023 20:44

contact his mum and dad and tell them he's harassing your DD and if it doesn't stop you will take it to the police?

This. Surely can find relatives of his on his Facebook? But stalker like but I'd definitely want to tell his parents!!

Tothemoonandbackx · 26/01/2023 20:46

I'd definitely save/screen shot the messages too before the little worm has time to delete them!!!

NuffSaidSam · 26/01/2023 20:50

Screenshot the messages and then block him. Get your DD to block him. Then have a really good talk to her about manipulative men and red flags to look out for.

He's obviously got some issues. Don't get involved with it!

gravyriceandchips · 26/01/2023 20:52

Message him back ask for his parents details and say he's now involved in an ongoing enquiry. Police want his details.

He will shit a brick or provide

AffIt · 26/01/2023 20:54

Take screenshots, try to track down the little prick's parents and send them to them, then block.

Tell your daughter to block him, too, then sit down and have a very full and frank conversation with her about online safety, boundaries, privacy measures and why sharing personal information of any kind on SM with people you've never met is a really bad idea.

sneakyrussian · 26/01/2023 20:54

Jeeze he sounds chilling ... I would put as much space between him and your family as possible. Grey rock him.

Scotty12 · 26/01/2023 20:55

Are you sure he is who he says he is? Could be any age, gender etc? Can you block him and increase your and your daughter’s security and privacy settings? And obvs talk to your daughter about how not to have a repeat of this situation. Has she given out any personal info eg address, school etc?

LadyOfTheCanyon · 26/01/2023 20:56

I would be checking the messages between them to be absolutely certain before I went any further and made any threats about police involvement

Yeahrightthen · 26/01/2023 20:57

Has she actually met him? By that I mean does she know for a fact he’s 16?

Sounds sinister - I would contact his parents (if he indeed is 16 and you know who they are). As a pp said, copy/save everything in case this escalates.

orangegato · 26/01/2023 20:57

Aye find his parents accounts, if you know their names you can find them on FB, LinkedIn, even their work emails will be guessable so give the little creep a taste of his own medicine. He’ll soon crawl back in his box.

GrumpyInsomniac · 26/01/2023 20:58

Tell him there is something called the Malicious Communications Act that covers this kind of behaviour and that if he continues you will report him to the police.

Then screenshot everything you and your daughter have and make sure you both have him blocked. Be ready to follow through with the police if he continues or starts another account to get round the blocks.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/01/2023 20:58

HAS he messaged her ex-boyfriend? Is she on amicable terms with him? Or is it this "16 year old boy" who is telling her he has messaged her ex-boyfriend?

Could this be the start of a blackmail? To get her to do what he wants her to do?

Tinkerbyebye · 26/01/2023 20:58

Screenshot the messages, report to the police and both you and your daughter block him

Ludo19 · 26/01/2023 20:59

Jesus this is frightening.

mallardducks · 26/01/2023 21:03

Scary yeah

Onnabugeisha · 26/01/2023 21:07

Block and report to the police NOW. He’s sending malicious communications and cyber bullying your DD.

You will need to let the police take digital copies of the messages he has sent her & you, and if you can get the messages he has sent to the ex boyfriend. This might mean handing over phones for ten minutes or so, so that they can copy over the messages as digital evidence to use against this “boy”.

He may be 18 and thus fully criminally liable.

JDJD · 26/01/2023 21:20

Make a record of all messages from this person, both between him and your dd and him and you.

Please please make sure your daughter has cut all contact with this person. You both should lock down/private all your social media accounts because he will very likely be pissed off when she blocks him. Do not converse with him any more.

Open up conversations with your daughter about her relationship with this person, has she sent him any pictures etc etc, or just friends? There are people out there that groom young girls to get pictures, then turn very similar to this once they want "more".

5128gap · 26/01/2023 21:23

LadyOfTheCanyon · 26/01/2023 20:56

I would be checking the messages between them to be absolutely certain before I went any further and made any threats about police involvement

This is good advice.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 26/01/2023 21:25

Support DD and tell her anyone who reacts like this to a minor hiccup in a relationship is completely out of order and it's not her fault
Find out if the ex has been told these lies and reassure him (and his parents if necessary) it's not true and is a malicious rumour started by some person we don't even know.
Capture all the information on the oil then block him everywhere.
Inform police either now or if anything else is said/done

Dymaxion · 26/01/2023 21:34

I would answer back 'DD says she hasn't said that , do you have any proof ?' See what he comes up with.

Onnabugeisha · 26/01/2023 21:37

Dymaxion · 26/01/2023 21:34

I would answer back 'DD says she hasn't said that , do you have any proof ?' See what he comes up with.

That’s worse than feeding a troll. I’m sure he is quite capable of fabricating fake messages. There are a dozen free fake message engines online that do this. Don’t tempt him.

Curlyreine · 26/01/2023 21:38

JDJD · 26/01/2023 21:20

Make a record of all messages from this person, both between him and your dd and him and you.

Please please make sure your daughter has cut all contact with this person. You both should lock down/private all your social media accounts because he will very likely be pissed off when she blocks him. Do not converse with him any more.

Open up conversations with your daughter about her relationship with this person, has she sent him any pictures etc etc, or just friends? There are people out there that groom young girls to get pictures, then turn very similar to this once they want "more".

This