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Original poster

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
Cigarettesaftersex1 · 26/01/2023 11:21

So OP, how are you going to deal with this?

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/01/2023 11:22

AxisOfEviI · 26/01/2023 10:15

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

No. It's nice.

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

No. Also nice.

Absolutely agree.

The new partner is the weird one. I wouldn't give her house-room, personally.

MrsFrugal · 26/01/2023 11:23

I think its weird that your partner thinks its weird

huuskymam · 26/01/2023 11:23

Absolutely nothing wrong with concerts or holidays with your kids, no matter what the age. My 19 year old son came on holiday with us last year, but doesn't want to this year. That's fine. The offer is always their for my kids.

WuTangGran · 26/01/2023 11:25

ednatheevilwitch · 26/01/2023 10:18

What kind of experiences gas your partner had if she thinks this is weird. It sound like she is jealous of your close and healthy relationship. As such she will probably do everything she can to undermine and damage it. Time to re-evaluate your relationship and prioritise your daughter.

Gas your partner is extreme.

Brefugee · 26/01/2023 11:25

It's not weird but it is a bit unusual for a Dad to go to a concert I suppose.

maybe it's just a German thing? but it really is A Thing I remember when i took my DDs to see Ed Sheeran (I was seated, they were in the standing area) there were plenty of dads around me, with daughters (mostly) in the standing area. And i go to a lot of gigs where there is a row of dads somewhere towards the back, with a beer, some even tapping a toe or two. I love to see that.

theblackradiator · 26/01/2023 11:26

Not weird at all its lovely for you to be spending this precious time with your daughter you'll always look back on these concerts and holidays with fond memories as will your daughter. my partner also took our daughter age 14 to a billie eilish concert last summer just the 2 of them. No one ever suggested it was weird it was lovely for them to spend that time together. sounds like your partner is just jealous of you spending time with your daughter.

GoldenCupidon · 26/01/2023 11:26

If she's not actually a horrible person (as many PP have suggested) I wonder if her perception is skewed by having been abused or having a close family who's been abused in the past? It's not at all uncommon.

But I think you need to have it out with her and ask her what her problem is with it, it's not ok for her to make you feel like a weirdo. You need to politely make it clear that she needs to stop.

I've been on holiday with my dad just the two of us and been to many many shows and other trips, it's been wonderful and I cherish our close relationship as one of the most vital of my life. You and your DD are lucky to have each other and long may that continue.

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 26/01/2023 11:27

Not weird tall. Either as others have said she is jealous or she has suffered some sort of abuse as a child that she hasn’t told you about. You can probably tell from other behaviour if it’s the former, if she doesn’t seem jealous in other ways, a more compassionate conversation may be in order just in case before following the LTB advice given by most posters.

PizzaDeliveryZ · 26/01/2023 11:27

RedLines · 26/01/2023 10:50

She has two children herself, both boys, similar ages

Show quote history

Does she never take her kids on holiday or to concerts?

MrsFrugal · 26/01/2023 11:28

My DH and our DD 19 go to concerts together! she made him go to 21 pilots and he talked her into Metallica 😂 nothing weird about any of it

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 26/01/2023 11:28

at all, not tall. Bloody predictive text.

Fragrantandfoolish · 26/01/2023 11:28

You need to put that in the bin and fast. She’s jealous of your child and rhe time you spend with her. Your activities are normal .

don’t listen to this woman, she’s Rotton to the core and it will get worse. You will be walking around staring at the pavement in case she thinks you look at another woman and she will kill your relationship with your child.

bin. Now.

Pinkespressomachine · 26/01/2023 11:28

Do not tolerate someone who wants to ruin the perfectly normal relationship you and your daughter share. She must have some very odd ideas to say this to you. Or she is jealous. Either way, it’s not OK.

Wetblanket78 · 26/01/2023 11:33

Not weird at all she's your daughter. She wouldn't question it if you were her mother. A lot of teenagers wouldn't even consider going to a concert with a parent. I suspect a bit of green eyed monster. She's the one that's weird for even suggesting it's weird. You sound like a great dad keep doing what you're doing.

NewFriday · 26/01/2023 11:38

If you do finish with her over this, I'll bet she'll take that as "proof" your D/F relationship is weird. She'll still be wrong.

Beamur · 26/01/2023 11:38

I would reflect this back to her - presumably she spends time alone with her own (opposite sexed) children. Is that weird too? Or just you and your DD? In which case either your partner needs to give her head a wobble or you break up.

booboo24 · 26/01/2023 11:39

Of course it's not weird. Your partner is controlling and not good for you or your daughter. Please please don't stop taking your daughter away, or to concerts. A normal healthy person would encourage you to keep this lovely relationship with your daughter. She is toxic and I never say that lightly

DontMakeMeShushYou · 26/01/2023 11:39

One of you is wierd and it isn't you.

TonTonMacoute · 26/01/2023 11:39

These outings and holidays with your daughter are very special and important to both of you. A 16 year old who is happy to be seen out and about with her old dad is quite something!

I would be concerned about a new partner who was suspicious of that relationship and who seems to be trying to spoil it.

Eve · 26/01/2023 11:39

RedLines · 26/01/2023 10:50

She has two children herself, both boys, similar ages

Show quote history

does she do anything with her sons?

for context , DS2 is 19 and at Uni. In a few weeks hes playing a sport for the Uni and I'm going to watch / support. I have booked a twin room in a local to the event pub and he will be sharing with me and we will have a meal etc together.

We are both looking forward to it - though hes already complaining about how my snoring will keep him awake! 🙄

MimiandFifi · 26/01/2023 11:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

lalaloopyhead · 26/01/2023 11:42

Not weird at all. Your partner is the weird one.

I have taken my daughters to concerts and also on holidays on my own, just because you are man shouldn't change the acceptability.

Your partner is either jealous and/or accusing you of an inappropriate relationship with your daughter. Not something that I would want from a partner.

DesertRose64 · 26/01/2023 11:42

You need to move on from the person you’re dating. She’s not emotionally healthy and Is trying to come between you and your daughter. Run. Run. Run.

Mittens1717 · 26/01/2023 11:46

Not weird in the slightest, I think its lovely you have a close relationahip with your daughter, your partner sounds like the weird one

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