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Original poster

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
WaltzingWaters · 26/01/2023 10:35

As everyone else has said, it sounds like a lovely relationship you have with your daughter and your partner sounds the weird one, probably out of jealousy. The only thing to worry about here is why your partner feels this way, may be time to part ways so it doesn’t come between the lovely relationship you and your daughter have.

Frankola · 26/01/2023 10:37

Not weird at all. I think it's lovely. Does your partner have kids herself?

ClearRunning · 26/01/2023 10:38

If your youngest is 16, you’ve been a father for a long time, the only weird thing is that you let a partner of a year, make you doubt your parenting.

Upsidedownagain · 26/01/2023 10:41

My niece has a step mum who has been less than accommodating to her. She never lived with her dad and step mum after they married but often stayed for extended periods as she and her mother live in a different country.

She's grown up now and her father died last year. Step mum has behaved appallingly towards her.

I'd suggest you drop the girlfriend.

rainbowstardrops · 26/01/2023 10:42

I'd say she's jealous of the relationship you have with your DD.
Would she rather you were a dead-beat dad who didn't bother?

NewFriday · 26/01/2023 10:43

I think it depends entirely on what works for you and DD.

I have 2 sons. DS1 wouldn't want to go away with me but I've been away alone with DS2 most years since he was 15yo (now 20) and we often go to the theater or hiking together. It's true it's because he's slightly "odd" and struggles socially so he doesn't have so many options as DS1, but I don't think it's weird in itself. Its just me supporting DS and enjoying his company.

It is a problem if a new partner is taking issue with any time a father spends with his DD IMO.

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 26/01/2023 10:43

I still go on days out with my Dad and I'm in my 50's!

Partner sounds jealous of the time and attention you give your DD, which is a big red flag. Does she have kids herself?

TheShellBeach · 26/01/2023 10:45

She's jealous, OP.
But what the hell does she think you and your DD are doing?
Honestly, you need to get rid of the girlfriend.
She'll come between you and your daughter if you're not careful.
You sound like a good father to me.

Branleuse · 26/01/2023 10:46

Your partner is insinuating there is something weird or incestuous about going to a concert or holiday with your own kid? Is she fucking serious?
Tell her to piss off with her dodgy paranoid and inappropriate comments.

Breezycheesetrees · 26/01/2023 10:48

I went loads of gigs with my dad from being a teenager onwards, as well as festivals, cycling and camping trips. Now that he's not here anymore these are some of my favourite memories of him. Please please don't let your partner spoil your relationship with your daughter, or cause you to put distance between the two of you.

BlueBooh · 26/01/2023 10:49

You sound like you have an amazing close relationship with your kids.

Your partner is acting jealous of your relationship with your daughter. Keep being a good dad and LTB.

She's a bad 'un. 🏃‍♀️

Original poster
RedLines · 26/01/2023 10:50

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 26/01/2023 10:43

I still go on days out with my Dad and I'm in my 50's!

Partner sounds jealous of the time and attention you give your DD, which is a big red flag. Does she have kids herself?

She has two children herself, both boys, similar ages

OP posts:
Nap1983 · 26/01/2023 10:51

Absolutely not weird!! It’s weird her thinking it’s weird!!

mondaytosunday · 26/01/2023 10:51

It's not weird at all and your partner is just jealous. Don't let her come between you and your daughter!

mumonthehill · 26/01/2023 10:52

Your a parent who wants to share lovely things with you DD, nothing odd in that at all. I do quite a bit with ds16, it is great that he still wants to.

FairyBatman · 26/01/2023 10:53

Not weird at all.

Your partner is jealous either because she doesn't have that type of relationship with her sons, or because she wants all your attention and is jealous of your daughter.

Either is a big red flag.

SpanishOnion · 26/01/2023 10:53

I don't like the sound of her, OP. Is she actually insinuating you have an incestuous relationship with your daughter (!!), or is she just one of those ghastly 'I'm the ONLY woman in my man's life' types, and is regarding your daughter as some kind of rival 'other woman'??? Either way, she sounds pretty cuckoo.

SuperheroBirds · 26/01/2023 10:54

It’s perfectly normal. From 14-18 I went to loads of concerts with my Dad, and still do some to this day. You should be happy that your teenage daughter wants to spend time with you and that is obviously a reflection of your strong relationship with her.

BitOutOfPractice · 26/01/2023 10:55

Neither f those things is weird. They are both lovely!

In what way does she think it's 'weird'?

I'd bet any money she's jealous / resentful

SnackyOnassis · 26/01/2023 10:55

This is perfectly normal and stopping this part of your lovely relationship with your daughter because of what your romantic partner is suggesting would be terrible. Lose the girlfriend, keep the trips. Your 16 year old will be grown so quickly, you don't want to cut short this lovely time where you can share your interests, and if you keep it going, it might be something that endures into adulthood.
Until I had a child of my own (and he justifiably became the main focus for doting grandparents!!) my dad and I would still go on trips together into my early 30s and it's something I've always treasured.

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 26/01/2023 10:56

Not weird whatsoever! It's lovely

BarrelOfOtters · 26/01/2023 10:56

That's just weird. I'm a stepmother and my DH would take his sons and daughter away for weekends in various combinations, on his own with one of them, with two of them, with me - without me - sometimes with his ex (again with me or without me). They've been to concerts, city breaks, on holiday - weekends away all sorts of stuff. . He goes and visits and stays with them now they are in their 20s. I would think it was weird if he didn't.

It's given them some of their best memories together.

I'm not going to say get rid of the girlfriend - but you need a chat about values.

ClearRunning · 26/01/2023 10:56

BlueBooh · 26/01/2023 10:49

You sound like you have an amazing close relationship with your kids.

Your partner is acting jealous of your relationship with your daughter. Keep being a good dad and LTB.

She's a bad 'un. 🏃‍♀️

It doesn’t sound like an amazing close relationship. It sounds like a normal parent child one. But some like to give extra pats on the head to men who parent which is weird.

CrocodileShoooooesCrocodileShoes · 26/01/2023 10:56

Your partner is telling you exactly what she thinks of you.

She believes that you can't be alone with your teenage daughter without it being weird.

She thinks you're some sort of groomer/paedophile/abuser.

She needs to go.

SusanPerbCallMeSue · 26/01/2023 10:58

She's weird. I'm a mum of boys and I've been on holiday with them and to gigs with them. Individually and all together. I love it when they want to do something with me, it's so rare now they're teens. Make the most of it!

Does she not do anything with her sons?

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