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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
Cocolapew · 26/01/2023 09:57

You need to dump your partner.
Of course its not weird.

SheilaWilcox · 26/01/2023 10:00

Not weird.
Get rid of partner.

PaintByLetters · 26/01/2023 10:01

I agree with PP - your partner is weird and you should get rid.

I remember at 17 sharing a hotel room with my dad on an odd occasion that he took me to far flung university open days - similarly a couple of times he visited me at uni and slept on the air bed in the same room as me. Nothing weird or untoward - practical and we enjoyed each others company.

flippingflippers · 26/01/2023 10:01

Your partner's trying to spoil your relationship with your daughter.

She'd be told to hit the road, asap. Absolutely shocking behaviour on her part. She sounds like a jealous teenager!

MoreTeaLessCoffee · 26/01/2023 10:02

Not weird at all. Lovely you have that relationship.
It's a red flag from your partner. Sounds like potential jealousy/possessiveness on her part.

Bonjovispyjamas · 26/01/2023 10:03

Your partner is the weird one. Get rid before she comes between you and your daughter.

cheeseandwineissofine · 26/01/2023 10:03

Not weird at all. I wished my dad took me on more one to one days out and adventures.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 26/01/2023 10:04

Get rid, She is trying to get inbeween you and your daughter, shes jealous.

Please keep the lovely relationship with your daughter and get rid of the witch before she starts getting to her behind your back.

KittytheHare · 26/01/2023 10:04

The only thing I find weird is that you've spelt weird correctly and incorrectly in the same post.
Also your partner sounds awful.

IncompleteSenten · 26/01/2023 10:05

Weird how?
Parent taking child on holiday is weird? I think we all know what your partner is implying l.

Fucking hell. Me and my husband are a right pair of perverts then because we've taken our kids on many holidays, my husband takes them overseas, I used to take them swimming when they were little. My husband used to go take them to see films.

Ooooh a dad in a dark cinema with his children. Someone call ss!

Beamur · 26/01/2023 10:06

Your partners reaction is very strange. This is your daughter, not another woman.
Is she jealous of your DD in some way?
I have a DD of the same age and she has been to concerts with her Dad and on holiday once without me for a week. They had a great time and it's lovely for them to spend some time together.
Can your partner elaborate on what she thinks is wrong?

Neuronamechange · 26/01/2023 10:06

Not weird. DH and DD often go out together. Would happily do either with my Dad.

Member815316 · 26/01/2023 10:07

Sorry you have been made to feel you are doing something weird. You definitely aren't. My husband often does things alone with our 16 year old daughter. This summer they have a number of trips planned after her GCSEs, when our younger kids are still in school.

SouthCountryGirl · 26/01/2023 10:08

Not weird. My dad used to take me (late 20s) to a sporting event.

A friend is a bit older and when we went away, her mum came with us

ImprobablePuffin · 26/01/2023 10:10

If your partner thinks it's weird then she must have a fucked up mental picture of what is going on when you go on holiday and to concerts with your DD.
Do you really want to be with someone who thinks having a relationship with your children is weird and who is questioning why this is happening?

Ragwort · 26/01/2023 10:10

You new 'partner' girlfriend sounds needy, jealous and controlling- she should have nothing to say about your relationship with your DD but be grateful she has met someone who cares about his DC.

Get rid of her .. do you really want someone like that in your DD's life?

Tallulah28 · 26/01/2023 10:11

Why does your partner think it’s strange to take your daughter to a concert or on holiday? I’ve done this since I was a teen with my own step father and both my sisters and I continue to do so as adults. Some of my best memories are of gigs and events we’ve attended together. At what age does your partner deem it “inappropriate” to stop spending time with your daughter? Presumably she thinks it’s ok for a father to holiday with a pre teen so why not a teenager?

catandcoffee · 26/01/2023 10:12

Get rid of the new partner she's either jealous of your relationship, or thinks all Men are sexual predeters.

PAFMO · 26/01/2023 10:13

Dump your partner.
She's not going to ever be able to have a normal relationship with someone who already has a child. @

mmgirish · 26/01/2023 10:14

Your partner sounds like a weirdo. Your family set up with your daughter sounds lovely.

Azri27 · 26/01/2023 10:14

Maybe you should ask her what exactly is weird about it?

AxisOfEviI · 26/01/2023 10:15

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

No. It's nice.

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

No. Also nice.

SeasonFinale · 26/01/2023 10:15

Ditch the partner. Massive red flag.

Carry on with the wonderful and obviously loving relationship you gave with your daughter.

Whichwhatnow · 26/01/2023 10:17

Your partner is the weird one. One of my favourite memories is going to Glastonbury with my dad at 15. Is she trying to imply there's something inappropriate going on?? Because that's pretty twisted (of her)

Mrsjayy · 26/01/2023 10:17

Cocolapew · 26/01/2023 09:57

You need to dump your partner.
Of course its not weird.

Yeah this or the partner seems put out that they are not no 1 priority either way its not good.