My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

2214 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
BigBadBoom · 26/01/2023 10:17

My parents divorced when I was 11, I'm now 44 and my Dad and I still make time to go for a meal just the two of us when we can. He also took me on holidays just the two of us as a teenager. Your partner is the one that's weird.

RedLines · 26/01/2023 10:17

KittytheHare · 26/01/2023 10:04

The only thing I find weird is that you've spelt weird correctly and incorrectly in the same post.
Also your partner sounds awful.

Hahaha...spelling has never been a strong point.
My vocabulary is pretty good but sometimes I sit pondering how to spell even the most basic of words.

Thank you all for your replies, I feel quite tearful!

OP posts:
ednatheevilwitch · 26/01/2023 10:18

What kind of experiences gas your partner had if she thinks this is weird. It sound like she is jealous of your close and healthy relationship. As such she will probably do everything she can to undermine and damage it. Time to re-evaluate your relationship and prioritise your daughter.

FaoinDrualus · 26/01/2023 10:18

You have a lovely relationship with your daughter and it's awful that your partner is trying to undermine this. The only person being weird or unusual here is your partner.

Lcb123 · 26/01/2023 10:19

Not at all weird, that’s really nice you enjoy spending the time together

scrivette · 26/01/2023 10:20

Not weird at all.

I went on holiday with my Dad a few times in my 20's for a week, we shared the same room, it was a lovely thing to be able to do.

LordEmsworth · 26/01/2023 10:20

Your partner's a twat. Get rid.

swimchick1980 · 26/01/2023 10:20

Not weird at all. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter. I have gone on holidays and to concerts with my Dad since I was a teenager and still do so now in my 40s. Enjoy every moment you spend with her. I'd be worried as to why your new partner is so put out by it. There is a real risk of damaging the relationship with your daughter if this continues to be an issue and nothing is worth that.

Jakadaal · 26/01/2023 10:20

Not weird at all! You sound like a lovely parent. Your partner sounds very insecure

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/01/2023 10:21

Of course it’s not weird!

Your girlfriend sounds a bit odd.

Almost can’t believe this is real tbh

YellowHpok · 26/01/2023 10:21

Your partner is the weird one. Get rid.

SunshineLoving · 26/01/2023 10:22

It's not weird at all to go on outings and holidays with your child of any age. Whether she's 6, 16 or 60. She's your child and it's lovely that you like to spend time together.

Your partner seems to be trying to ruin your relationship with your daughter and that is a big red flag.

holierthanthou73 · 26/01/2023 10:22

Absolutely not, my son and I (he’s in his late 20s) often do stuff together like that. It certainly wouldn’t cross my partners mind to think it’s weird.

ItWasntMyFault · 26/01/2023 10:23

You sound like a great dad. Your partner is weird.

Mirabai · 26/01/2023 10:24

What she means by is that she is jealous of you spending time and money on your DD and not her.

Dump.

Helenahandkart · 26/01/2023 10:24

Not at all weird. I know loads of dads who go to gigs with their teenage daughters.

Trinity65 · 26/01/2023 10:25

Not weird at all. Its lovely in fact.

Dump the Girlfriend.

JorisBonson · 26/01/2023 10:26

I've been going to gigs with my dad since I was a teenager, still do, it's great.

bookworm1982 · 26/01/2023 10:27

You sound like a lovely father and your partner is awful for making you feel like you're doing something wrong. She's the weird one for making something so innocent seem wrong. She could also be jealous of your relationship. Dump her ASAP.

clpsmum · 26/01/2023 10:27

Cocolapew · 26/01/2023 09:57

You need to dump your partner.
Of course its not weird.

This

Your partner is the weird one and clearly jealous of your daughter. Get rid!

clpsmum · 26/01/2023 10:27

Ps I wish I had had a dad like you and I wish my children had a dad like you

Boleynforsoup · 26/01/2023 10:27

If my 14 nearly 15 year old DD's dad wanted to take her to a concert or holiday on her own I'd be really happy for her. What a lovely thing to do and that you're so close.

Unfortunately he can't seem to spend any time alone with her and only partakes in activities that include his partner (or just abdicates his responsibility and leaves her and his partner to do stuff with her). In my case, she has a dad problem.... I'm glad she has a good relationship with her dad's partner, despite the fact I don't really know the woman.

In your case I think you have a partner problem. She's jealous and that's not a good look on a fully grown woman.

Nevermind31 · 26/01/2023 10:28

Not weird - who else would your 15 year old go to concerts and on holiday with if not her legal guardian.
i went on a fantastic sailing holiday with my dad (and his cousin) when I was 15
First time I went to a pub/ club was with my dad
my dad took me on a campus tour for unis when I was doing my a-levels
never considered any of this weird.
your partner though… she is weird

mymeatballsmymeatballs · 26/01/2023 10:29

It's so not weird. My dad used to take me to gigs when I was 17/18/19, my friend used to come too. Went to Download festival and slept in the car, dad in the front seat and I made a makeshift bed in the boot! It's not weird and your partner deserves to be dumped.

Luckingfovely · 26/01/2023 10:33

You sound fabulous. Lose the lunatic.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.