Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

[RedLines]

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

You sound like an amazing Dad. Keep doing what you’re doing!
it’s great that your daughter wants to go to concerts and on holiday with her dear dad still and that shows what a great relationship you have… Don’t change!

Your new partner is clearly jealous of the closeness, does she have daddy issues with her own father or does she just want you to herself?! Don’t let her come between you and your daughter… personally I’d re-think that relationship and tell her to grow up… I think she’s weird for thinking it’s weird for a dad to love spending time with his daughter…. Too soon a time will come when she wants to do it all with a friend or boyfriend and you’ll cherish these moments

Jealousy is unnecessary and unbecoming. If you want to keep your relationship with your daughter, ditch the bitch. She will ģet worse with time and won't be satisfied until she believes she has 'won' by splitting you away from your daughter. Horrible woman. Lose her fast.

I wonder what the new partner thinks of the response to this question, as she was clearly confident she was right in her attitude to this…?

She sounds controlling… wanted to make the relationship sound perverse…

She will hate the fact that so many find her attitude weird and back this dad. She clearly didn’t think he’d ask anyone and was hoping she would undermine his lovely relationship with his DD.

id have to either dump her or tell her never to tell me what to do with my own spare time. With my own daughter ever again!!

Not at all weird, she’s the one with the problem

Have you asked her what she is trying to insinuate? She sounds like real trouble

Your new partner is being weird. You sound like a wondeful Dad!

Not weird, it’s lovely. She may be jealous

Your partner is jealous (been there myself!).

Don't even take on their negative small minded and weird opinions. Seriously, dump her. Move on. It will end very badly for everyone if you don't, it says all you need to know about them.

Me and 16 yo DS went to a gig together last year, we have also been on trips just the 2 of us. I can't see what is weird in the slightest.

A little weird to take your daughter on holiday and to multiple concerts rather than your partner. I can see why she might be a bit put out or feel it's inappropriate if she thinks of those things as dates

OP, ignore people who say ‘all my friends would agree with me’ The chances are that the only thing they’d agree on is that the friend is being an arse.

I think what’s weird is that anyone would think this way.

@RedLines you should show the responses to your partner!

Don't be so daft.

OP you sound like a lovely dad. Please don't question yourself further. So many children would wish for a dad (or mum!) as invested as you. Your partner is jealous and that's very weird. Show her this thread.

Its new partner wanting to make your past disappear. You don’t say whether she has children. I was in the position of having a relationship with a man who had a child with previous partner. I was young and handled it with jealousy and resentment because of my own insecurities. Unless she can understand herself you are forced to make a choice between daughter and new partner. Its obvious what that choice should be.

Concerts, holidays and meals out totally normal. You have a girlfriend problem.
Perhaps she has read too much psychology (spousification) but she is way off base here. Show her the thread.

Your partner sounds toxic and jealous of your daughter. A dangerous combination. The time you spend with your daughter is what a loving, engaged Dad does and you sound like you have a wonderful relationship with her. You need to dump this awful woman immediately.

The problem is your partner . It sounds like they are jealous. Absolutely nothing wrong with going to a concert or on holidays at any age .
Are they very controlling?

Your partner is weird or jealous of your relationship with your dd

@mustgetoffmn snap, I’ve been there too when I, at just turned 19, was with a 28 year old with a child. Lucky for me at the time he was a shit dad and never wanted much contact but I felt hugely threatened by his ex… I feel ashamed now looking back. I ended up quite fond of the son in the end but thankfully didn’t have kids with the dad.

I wish I had had a fraction of this relationship with my father. Instead, any time we did spend time together, my (own, biological) mother kicked off with insecurity and jealousy and tried to suggest there was something perverted about it. I don't see either of them anymore.

Last summer, my husband and 14 year old daughter went on a choir trip together to another cathedral city. My older daughter and I could have gone, but decided to enjoy a weekend at home, enjoying our particularly niche films, reading books and eating dim sum. Husband and daughter stayed in a twin room in a lovely little boutique hotel, sang lots and ate out sometimes with the rest of the choir and sometimes alone. It turned out to be a lovely weekend for everyone.

Sorry, but your girlfriend is the weird one. 🤷‍♀️

Your partner is weird, not you!

Not at all weird. Please get rid of this woman, she's jealous of a 16 year old girl and worse still trying to insinuate something inappropriate.