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Original poster

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
Fluffmum · 27/01/2023 19:35

Your partner is weird not you.

QueSyrahSyrah · 27/01/2023 19:36

Tell your partner to do one, if anyone here is weird it's her.

TTCournumberthree · 27/01/2023 19:36

There are a lot of comments here, so many I couldn’t read half but incase you need any more confirmation.

You sound like a fantastic dad and do not stop taking your daughter out to concerts or meals or to the family holiday home.

My dad wouldn’t have done the same with me and that’s down to how he was brought up (very dysfunctional) but my husband and FIL are both amazing with our kids and they love them so much. Keep that bond strong with your daughter and do not let your partner make you feel like it’s weird because it’s not.

Pepsi2001 · 27/01/2023 19:36

Sounds like she's jealous.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 27/01/2023 19:37

Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. Nothing weird about that at all.

your partners reactions are very concerning. She sounds jealous and controlling.

I think you need to think about why you needed to ask this question. Surely you know your relationship with your daughter is fine. Has your new partner got you questioning your own views?? If so that’s very worrying is it.

Remona · 27/01/2023 19:37

She’s jealous. End of.

She’s trying to make you doubt what you’re doing so that all the meals, concerts and trips can be spent on her instead.

QueSyrahSyrah · 27/01/2023 19:38

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 27/01/2023 19:33

I agree with everyone else, but after your update about going to Cornwall without telling her, I find that a bit strange, that you didn't mention it until after you'd been. Maybe it's the fact that you don't tell her your plans that she finds weird, rather than where you go with your DD.

And of course it's lovely for you to take DD to a restaurant. Do you take your GF out too? Your comment makes it sound as if you take DD but not her. It's a question of putting effort into both relationships.

Reads to me like he told her on the day he was going, which if he was going for 24 hours and didn't have existing plans with her is obviously fine. Not everything is planned in advance, especially not quick trips to family.

QuizzlyBear · 27/01/2023 19:41

Definitely not weird! I'm in my 40s and still do stuff on my own with my dad. I love his company and if he hadn't put the effort in to do things with me as a teen/ young adult we probably wouldn't have the relationship we have now. I love him.

dickdarstardlymuttley · 27/01/2023 19:50

Cherish the relationship you have with your daughter, your blessed to have such a great relationship. Ditch your partner, she sounds jealous.

Trishthedish · 27/01/2023 19:55

Lucky you to have such a great relationship with your daughter, and lucky her that you enjoy her company.

your new partner is the weird one here. If she’s jealous of your daughter it does not look good going forwards. Have a great time with your daughter.

Summerfun54321 · 27/01/2023 19:55

Life partners are meant to build each other up not tear each other down. I can't think of a single time my DH called me or my actions weird. Throw your partner back in the sea and find a new one. It's one thing to be a tiny but jealous in private, but to actually berate you for spending quality time with your daughter is really toxic.

oosha · 27/01/2023 19:59

There is nothing weird about taking your daughter to a concert or going on holiday with her. You sound like an amazing dad and she clearly loves spending time with you. My best advice, never let anyone get between you and your kids. Your new partner needs to suck it up and get on board and be supportive or ship out. She sounds jealous and no one who cares about you would try to put a wedge between you and your daughter. Plenty more fish in the sea but you can’t replace your daughter.

daisy46 · 27/01/2023 20:03

your partner is horrible and jealous. you sound like a wonderful dad. Keep investing in the relationship with your daughter and get rid of the "other woman." (that's how she views your daughter!!)

Bookloverjay · 27/01/2023 20:05

Personally i don't find it weird. You are spending quality time with your daughter.

Is it weird when a dad takes his son to watch football? A mum taking her daughter to ballet?

Lemon221 · 27/01/2023 20:06

I used to go to concerts with my dad from around age 13 until he got sick with terminal cancer. I loved going with just him. They are some of my favourite memories. Don’t deprive your daughter of this for a partner, it seems like a weird competitive jealousy thing. I would do anything now for my dad to be well enough that We could enjoy that time together again! You don’t know what’s around the corner, spend all the time you can with her! Xxx

GreenSunfish · 27/01/2023 20:20

It’s not weird, it’s great your 16 year old daughter wants to spend time with you-enjoy it.

glowfrog · 27/01/2023 20:21

What a weirdo - your partner, that is. It's wonderful to hear of a dad having such a good relationship with his daughter. I would seriously reconsider your relationship with your partner.

LovelyLisa2 · 27/01/2023 20:24

What on earth. Your partner sounds weird. Take her wherever she wants to go, what a great dad you are. x

Fluff3 · 27/01/2023 20:25

Dump your partner. She is trying to get between you and your daughter out of jealously more likely. Its lovely that you are spending time with your daughter. My husband does the same with our 16 year daughter. He took her away last year, just the 2 of them for 5 days. Its not weird at all.

YourWinter · 27/01/2023 20:25

Your partner really has some issues, doesn’t she?

Jealous, possessive, or does she actually think you’re aroused by your daughter?

Roxy69 · 27/01/2023 20:30

Mirabai · 26/01/2023 10:24

What she means by is that she is jealous of you spending time and money on your DD and not her.

Dump.

Spot on.

catflycat · 27/01/2023 20:30

My dad took me on holiday when I was in my mid twenties 😅 He had tickets for a sporting event in a country my mum didn't want to visit, we had the best time and I really treasure the memory now we've lost him. Don't stop doing lovely things together

lap90 · 27/01/2023 20:31

Your partner seems weird and awful.

lurchermummy · 27/01/2023 20:34

Not wierd. My DH took our 18 year old DD on holiday, doing something I didn't want to do, they had a great time.

ScotsBluebell · 27/01/2023 20:42

It's your partner that's weird. Please don't let her ruin your relationship with your daughter. I still get a little pang of sadness, all these years after he died, that I can't spend time with my dad. But I have precious memories of the times we spent together.

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