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AIBU?

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Original poster

Weird to go to a concert/holiday with 16 year old daughter?

468 replies

RedLines · 26/01/2023 09:56

I am a father of 4 and only my youngest is at home.
Divorced and have my 16 year old daughter half the time.
I have taken her to a couple of concerts - Billy Eilish etc and have just bought a couple of tickets for another concert, at her request.

My new partner of over a year is very put out by this and thinks it is wierd and unhealthy for a father to be taking his daughter to a concert.

Similarly, I have an interest in a house in Spain and last year went to Spain to the house with her for a fortnight, the other kids were busy and didn't come or there was only a couple of days overlap with my eldest daughter.

My partner thinks that it is really weird that a father goes on holiday alone with his daughter.
For context this is a house that has been in the family for 40 years and has 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms and has been a holiday destination every year for all of the family.

I am blindsided by the position taken by my partner!

Can I ask if

1.) It is unusual or wierd for a father to go to a music concert with his 16 year old daughter

2.)It is unusual or wierd for a father to go on holiday with his 16 year old daughter (she was 15 last summer)

OP posts:
Booktime · 27/01/2023 20:43

This is not weird at all!!! If she is happy for you to take her to a concert then your doing a good job as a Dad!

Your partner is sounding a little jealous tbh!

Travis1 · 27/01/2023 20:44

Definitely time to reconsider the girlfriend

JustBeKinder · 27/01/2023 20:44

Not weird at all, you re just being a good dad x

Luredbyapomegranate · 27/01/2023 20:45

Your partner is weird and I would be seriously thinking about getting rid.

ittakes2 · 27/01/2023 20:46

Your partner is the weird one - sounds like she's jealous don't waste anymore of your time.

pollymere · 27/01/2023 20:47

I'm going away for the weekend with my DS 17 and leaving DH at home for our shared interest😂. We're going to be sharing a twin room too! Supporting your kids is part of being a parent. We do take it in turns to get dressed btw.

CrescentMoons · 27/01/2023 20:47

Dump your partner that is a real jealous of a child there.

dylansss · 27/01/2023 20:48

Not weird at all. I just spent a month backpacking round Morocco with my 19 year old son.

Moll2020 · 27/01/2023 20:50

Please keep going to concerts/holidays with your daughter, it’s fabulous that you’ve got such a lovely relationship with her.

Mugonforehead · 27/01/2023 20:54

I would have loved to have a dad like you. Not weird at all.

Mugonforehead · 27/01/2023 20:54

It’s weird your partner finds it weird

ladycarlotta · 27/01/2023 21:13

I am not used to having to ask permission to spend time with my children or my family. My relationship with my children is very solid and is not negatiable.

This is what you tell your partner. You should be extremely wary of her motives - it really sounds like she is trying to undermine the loving, friendly relationship you have with your daughter. FWIW, I used to go to gigs with my dad as a teenager too and really enjoyed it. We are not weird.

CJ1966 · 27/01/2023 21:27

I think you sound a lovely dad and you clearly have a great relationship with your daughter. This is precious time together, making memories. I wonder if there is a bit of jealousy on your partner's part?

alwaysoutdoors · 27/01/2023 21:33

I would love to have had that relationship with my dad! 100% not weird and lovely that you both want to do it! Keep it up and ignore your partner!!!

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 27/01/2023 21:40

Not weird at all. Guessing she doesn't have any children of her own. Not sure what she thinks is weird about it tbh

2Old2BABPpresenter · 27/01/2023 21:52

Not weird at all, ditch the partner before she drives a wedge between you and your daughter.

I wish I had had more time with my DDad. He would come visit me on his work travels when I lived away from home and it was always wonderful 🥰

CelestiaNoctis · 27/01/2023 21:53

Please find a new partner. You sound like a wonderful father with a great bond with your daughter and to put it bluntly, your partner sounds like a weirdo.

GUARDIAN1 · 27/01/2023 22:06

I think it's your partner who's weird OP. Seriously, I went to loads of concerts with my daughter including some 'Emo' bands when she was going through that phase. She also came to see some stuff I like (Alice Cooper, Blondie, UB40). We had a great time. We also went on an annual holiday together (as well as others which included my partner) and numerous city breaks.

Shouldn't be any different because you're her dad. I think it's lovely. Great for your and daughter's relationship.

Kleptronic · 27/01/2023 22:13

My son and I (he is 18 now) have been to gigs/festivals/camping for years and shared a tent/hotel rooms. Now I will share his Uni room at Easter, me on an airbed. He asked when I was coming. I'm not wrong and you aren't either, for as long as they want to share these times with us.

DetectiveDouche · 27/01/2023 22:16

Your partner is being weird… and possibly jealous.. red flags there

Silverstreaks · 27/01/2023 22:58

They'll destroy your strong relationship with your daughter and probably the rest of your kids if you allow them to stay in your life.
Say goodbye and good riddance.

Saju1 · 27/01/2023 23:10

You partner (or maybe their mum) probably suffered sexual abuse from their dad. This is more common thank you think. If this is the case, your partner will probably not even confess to this.

Maybe just ask her whether in her family all fathers don't have a close bond with their children/female children?

Keep an open mind

smellyshoes81 · 27/01/2023 23:19

@Saju1 It doesn’t matter though, that’s for her to own/address through therapy. Sad as that situation is, she’s not ready for a relationship if that’s the case, and she shouldn’t be in one if she’s projecting that shit onto an innocent man and his daughter!

Tessabelle74 · 27/01/2023 23:49

You sound like a fantastic Dad! I wish my Dad gave half a shit about me never mind organised all this lovely stuff. Shoe your partner the poll results, very unusual to get such a strong YANBU on here!

RandomUsername22 · 27/01/2023 23:52

I wish I’d had a father like you! Dump the jealous partner and enjoy your time with your daughter.

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