Not to let DS have a bowl of porridge?

[Tacocatgoatcheesepizza]

DS11 is a fussy eater. He has some sensory issues that play into that, rather than it being purely annoying fussy if you know what I mean.

Today I knew that he would not eat what we were having for tea so I made him an alternative which I often do if I know he genuinely will not be able to eat it. I made him pesto spaghetti with some turkey in it. He likes all these things. BUT he usually has a lot of ketchup on his food (any food!) and currently he is not having ketchup at all - his choice as he has a bet with dh to go without for 40 days to get extra v-bucks for Fortnite. He is over half way with this and doing well. He has eaten pasta without ketchup in this time.

This evening he refused the pasta saying there was too much pesto. Then he asked for porridge instead which he is sometimes allowed if he has tried a new tea and doesn’t like it. I said no, because he has a perfectly edible acceptable tea in front of him. He is hungry and in a strop.

Aibu?

Porridge is not the worst thing to want all the time for a kid. As pp said make it with whole milk and add banana or other fruit he likes. But I do understand your frustration and it is true that he shouldn’t just be left to eat only that. So you may be doing the right thing. Very frustrating to have a picky eater!

My kids have autism and sensory issues with food.
I'd let them have porridge even though they didn't eat the pasta because I like them full and it's not expensive.
For all you know you might have overdosed with the pesto because it is a very strong flavour 🤷‍♀️

I'm torn but lean more to yanbu. Maybe instead of only offering fruit say anything but porridge? Or something like you can only switch to porridge x times a day/week. It is important to not let him lock himself onto one food, those children get really poorly. But, only one alternative on these unexpected occasions might be too limiting in a different way when you're trying to encourage variety.

It is really frustrating though and you have my sympathy trying to navigate this and also soon a teen 🙈

He is not a fussy eater, he has sensory issues. Smell being one of them clearly. It's not your place to decide to tempt your sons friend with anything
Give him the porridge @Tacocatgoatcheesepizza , one change at a time is enough

Yes, I should have phrased that differently. Sometimes no matter what we do, our children will decide and nothing much we can do about it. I meant children who would like a variety of foods if introduced to them early. I understand there are some who still won’t like certain foods.

Sorry but I wouldn't eat something with shit loads of pesto on it

X posts there @MysteryBelle , just seen your update

I’m in agreement with you. My DD15 had/has similar food preferences. If she has eaten it before then I don’t offer her an alternative. She dislikes textures and slathers ketchup on everything. In the last year she has tried lots of new things and liked them, I think she finally realises that she doesn’t have to ‘love’ everything.

You don’t know the situation, I do. And I do nothing concerning other people’s children without the permission of their parents. So it’s not your place to lecture anybody.

Ah, just saw this! ❤️

So what was the outcome OP did he go hungry or was he allowed a bowl of porridge to fill him up?

I have one autistic child and one child with SPD, and one child who so far appears neurotypical. Because DC1 is autistic and has the most food issues, I've had the same rule for all of them as they've grown - you can eat what I've made, or you can have cereal (this includes porridge), yogurt or toast, and as much fruit and veg as you want. Sometimes they eat what I made, sometimes they don't. The main thing is no pressure and consistent rules. No-one gets stressed and no-one is hungry.

Wtf just give him porridge. Too much pesto is definitely a thing. Next time let him mix his own pesto in.

It's porridge. A perfectly acceptable food. Not like he's ignoring his dinner for doritoos and chocolate.

You know he has sensory issues I can't understand why you'd even make this a battle.

But have you tried this? Offering porridge as an alternative for every meal? He might end up surprising you and eventually getting sick out it, and so choosing to try other things.

It sounds like you're pretty confident that YANBU. So why post the thread?

I’d just let him have the porridge. It’s a reasonable choice and will fill him up. Keep the pasta n eat it for ur lunch or scrape some r the pesto off and give it to him tomorrow for lunch. My DH would probably agree with you but I just don’t think it’s a battle you need to take on. It’s not like he’s asking for sweets instead

Not that simple. Ds ate the most varied diet going as a young child. He is 13 now and has been tube fed for 4 years because of his extreme restricted diet

Is porridge his comfort? Does it help him regulate? Some folk reach for wine or chocolate when stressed/anxious.

I’m struggling to get my head round why anyone would ever think that betting a fussy eater can’t go without ketchup for 40 days was ever a good idea.

Do people really play these stupid games?

Spaghetti pesto and turkey ? Yeah I wouldn't eat that either 🤣

YABU

Why is it food issues always on here
is anyone’s kid just fussy 🧐

Food should never be withheld, especially children.
its not like he was asking for chocolate

I think YABU. He asked for porridge not chocolate or crisps and that's reasonable I think. There are far bigger battles, pick something that actually matters!

I don’t think you are being unreasonable as such, but you need to have clearer rules, especially with a child like this.

I think it’s problematic to allow porridge sometimes but not always. So either it’s porridge is allowed as the back up, or I know you don’t like X list of foods, and you do like Y list of foods, so if we are eating and X food I’ll give you a Y food.