Ok for teacher to call child bossy

[Whawhawha]

So for context- my DD is 4 years old and has just started Reception. Her class teacher told me (during my first meeting with her) that she thought my child was bossy and couldn’t do x y and z. Nothing positive. 😪

aibu?

yanbu - teachers shouldn’t call children bossy

yabu - you’re being over sensitive- it’s fine.

[My2pence2day]

@BigButtons

Not sure why you asked in the first place. Most have said you are unreasonable, so there you go.

Agree. You sound like you're in denial OP. Why don't you ask one of your friends who knows your child and ask them to give you an honest answer, assuming you actually want to do something about it and want your child to have friends in the future.
I also think you should consider a different nursery because you and the teacher are already off to a bad start.

[donttellmehesalive]

@Whawhawha

@Upsidedownagain thank you. You’ve summarised my thoughts completely. And just to reiterate to other posters, she does not dominate others, she doesn’t sulk when other children won’t play her game etc. she might be a bit outspoken and isn’t ‘shy’ but she doesn’t do the things that have been described above. And there were definitely no positives. At all.

Well either she behaves differently when you are not around or the teacher is a liar. I think you had made up your mind on which you believed to be true before starting the thread really. Have you learnt anything at all or was it a waste of time? I expect the handful of posts agreeing with you have helped you enormously.

[fUNNYfACE36]

@Whawhawha

@Upsidedownagain thank you. You’ve summarised my thoughts completely. And just to reiterate to other posters, she does not dominate others, she doesn’t sulk when other children won’t play her game etc. she might be a bit outspoken and isn’t ‘shy’ but she doesn’t do the things that have been described above. And there were definitely no positives. At all.

The parents evening is not to blow smoke up your arse, it is to report to you how she is at school because YOU ARE NOT THERE . Given that, how do you know your dc fmdirs not dominate other children.Why do you doubt the teachers words? Why would she want to lie about your kid?

[fUNNYfACE36]

@Zola1

In report writing about children I tend to write 'likes to lead in play' or 'tends to want to lead amongst her peers' etc. Essentially it's the same thing just more kind as I don't like bossy - prefer strength based

You are misleading your parents then because they are not 'essentially the same thing'. Leading is behaving in a way people are inspired to follow you, bossing is demanding they do.

[Startwithamimosa]

@fUNNYfACE36

You are misleading your parents then because they are not 'essentially the same thing'. Leading is behaving in a way people are inspired to follow you, bossing is demanding they do.

Exactly. I would be upset to hear something negative about my child (who wouldn't), but I would be more upset to learn I had been mislead.

I guess you can't win though, because then you get the parents kicking off, no wonder so many teachers don't want to be teachers anymore

[Startwithamimosa]

@fUNNYfACE36

The parents evening is not to blow smoke up your arse, it is to report to you how she is at school because YOU ARE NOT THERE . Given that, how do you know your dc fmdirs not dominate other children.Why do you doubt the teachers words? Why would she want to lie about your kid?

This. What does the teacher have to gain about lying? If anything it males their job harder and gets parents offside (or worse kicking off)

[Waitymatey]

@ElspethTascioni - that isn’t my point, or even that many people on this thread. Bossy is not a leadership quality, in males or in females. Those who are bossy, in my experience do not mature you in the leaders. They either grow out of it or can become quite obstreperous. And yes, I have heard it applied to both genders, when appropriate. There is no need to try to pretend the trait indicates leadership when it does not.