To ask you if you would perceive what I said as racist.

[Offensiveapprently]

I always belive in giving people complements. There is a woman who is black and works behind the till in Aldi, I see her to pass the time of day occasionally say hi and ask her how she is. Today was with a friend (both of us white if that matters).
The woman working behind the till has had her hair done in lovely braids with wooden beads at the end it's a new hair do. I told her I liked the braids and her beads ( no hair touching or pointing) friend stopped off in the car park and remarked how embarrassed she was at me for being racist and commenting on how nice her hair was. Am I missing something am I now longer able to complement people on their hair. Ready for some home truths if I am wrong.

If you said it that way you're fine.

The world has gone mad....no it was a lovely compliment

Its not racist. Your friend has it twisted.

Depends on what you said or did. Eg I think it would border into racism if you touched her hair as if she was a mannequin vs a person.

I wonder why your friend pulled you up on this. Saying “I like your hair” is an everyday phenomenon surely, why would she bat an eyelid

Not racist, I'm sure the woman appreciated the compliment. Your friend is nuts

Honestly just a quiet passing comment. I told someone else the other dayI liked her nails. It's just nice to say something positive life is full of negativity.

I’m white so potentially unaware of sensitivities but if the way you described it is the way it happened I don’t think it’s racist. I think your friend has misunderstood what racism means.

You were fine.

Your friend however is a judgemental arse with a superiority complex.

Your friend’s bonkers.

What would be more racist is if you didn't complement someone because of their skin colour.

If anything your friend is being racist.

No. Nothing wrong with what you said.

Your friend is displaying the oversensitivity of the ‘uncertain so errs on the side of caution ’

• people are generally not as bothered about things that we are told they are bothered about, when we get told they are bothered by people who are not part of the group.

Your friend imo got herself tied up in knots you said her hair was OK,

Nothing wrong with what you said x

Did you ask your friend to clarify why what you said was racist? Making them explain it sometimes makes them realise how stupid they're being, as they're so often just parroting some nonsense they've seen on twitter without any actual thought.

I am mixed race with afro hair. When someone compliments me on my hair I take it as, well, a compliment. Honestly don't worry about it I'm sure the lady appreciated it.

YANBU
You gave a compliment. I bet you lifted the spirits of the recipient.

Honestly no touching , the lady herself said thanks and looked pleased about the complement. My friend can be a bit tetchy it's not like I said it loud enough for others to hear to embarrass the woman whose hair it was.

I’d be telling my friend that youre a regular and frequently chat with this woman so it wasn’t a random comment from a stranger situation that she is assuming it to be. And that you’re disappointed that she thinks so little of you to think you’d say anything racist.

As long as you didn't as her where her beads were really from you should be ok.

🤣

Gosh, what a strange friend you have! If I saw and chatted to the lady regularly and noticed that she’d changed her hair and I genuinely liked it, I’d say so! Hearing a compliment is always nice, no matter how superficial it might be.

Another poster who has an idiotic friend. There was a similar thread not so long ago.

Sounds like a nice compliment if you said it as stated. I'm sure most people are pleased to hear when their new hairdo is noticed and appreciated.

Lol how weird. Someone did something different with their hair, you noticed it and complimented it. I don’t even think it matters that she’s black, your friend was just being a bit weird.

I’m black and always get compliments on my hair when it’s in braids. I don’t see anything racist about that. My son’s occupational therapist will always compliment my daughters hair as sometimes it’s in cainrows, single plaits or a ponytail. I just see it as her taking an interest in her hairstyles as her hair is quite versatile