To ask you if you would perceive what I said as racist.

[Offensiveapprently]

I always belive in giving people complements. There is a woman who is black and works behind the till in Aldi, I see her to pass the time of day occasionally say hi and ask her how she is. Today was with a friend (both of us white if that matters).
The woman working behind the till has had her hair done in lovely braids with wooden beads at the end it's a new hair do. I told her I liked the braids and her beads ( no hair touching or pointing) friend stopped off in the car park and remarked how embarrassed she was at me for being racist and commenting on how nice her hair was. Am I missing something am I now longer able to complement people on their hair. Ready for some home truths if I am wrong.

a white woman lies in the sun all day I don't say how nice you look now you're more brown.

Although to say to a white woman 'you look nice and brown' isn't a weird or unusual thing to say. It's quite common.

Some of these comments are ridiculous. How about nobody ever speak to anyone ever again. You don't want to risk upsetting the snowflakes.

Oh FFS why can’t it just be a compliment ? We over analyse bloody everything to the point where it becomes meaningless !!

Don't be rude.

Did you read my previous post about Michelle Obama?

People often comment when someone comes back from a holiday how lovely and tanned they look, so I again disagree with you there as well. My hair is naturally straight. Should I take offence when I curl it if someone complements it ?

My son is white (he’s half Egyptian tho) and has an Afro. I can’t tell you the number of people of colour who come up to him and compliment him, he’s had fist bumps in Nike Town, nods and all kinds of greetings, other mums coming up and saying they love his natural hair. His barber is mega proud and protective of his client. :)

it’s not racist to tell someone you think they look great.

You sound lovely OP. Your friend sounds like a knob.

Ta said yesterday I looked lovely with my new haircut. Both white I'm trying to see why it would be racist if I had been black?

Bloody hell. I think I've learned from this that I shouldnt even try to compliment people any more. How sad.

Your friend is an idiot!

Well, as long as you didn’t add “it looks so much better than when it’s natural” at the end I don’t see what the problem is.

Your friend is bonkers. It might have been racist if it had been said in a patronising way, along the lines of "Oh, I do like the way you've done your awkward crinkly hair, and what pretty beads, are they native", but it sounds as if you said no more than you would have said to anyone else. Ask you friend whether she is really claiming you cannot tell a black woman you like the way they've done their hair, and if so why they have to be deprived of compliments and only white people are allowed them.

It wouldn't be racist if he touched her hair ...

It would be invading someone's personal space and boundaries without consent .

It would be disrespectful and violating

Mixed race woman here. Absolutely not racist. The world is going mad

@amazingG I think it's sad you think like you do and you have my pity.

Nothing racist about a compliment

I'm white, but I'm certainly not going to stop giving genuine compliments to others, just because they are different to me. Your friend is ridiculous, and frankly, comes across as a liitle racist herself. She wouldn't get away with saying that to me.

I am not white, I feel your friend is a racist tbh because she thinks the lady at the counter should be treated differently because of her colour. Shame on her.

Not being rude, just honest. Yes, I did see your post about Michelle Obama and that wasn’t the OP’s intention. It’s no more relevant than ‘Could your friend have meant that it wasn't appropriate to compliment someone on their appearance while they are at work?’ Why can’t a compliment just be a compliment ?

Your friend is bonkers.

If I see a woman out in public whose hair I think looks nice, I tell them. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

IF this happened then you know you aren’t being racist.

However, I think it’s generally better to avoid commenting on someone’s body, facial features or their hair unless you know them well, because it’s very personal and some people don’t like it.

Complimenting on perfume, bag, top etc, I think is fine.

Nope it isn’t racist, I wouldnt take offence. I’m mixed (black and white), my teenage daughter is black and has just had her hair braided and people compliment it daily, neither of us get offended. Tell your friend it’s nice to be nice

You see the woman regularly, noticed a change and gave her a compliment. Nothing racist about it.

White women getting offended on behalf of black women is a new trend I find.

I had some work colleagues who honestly would end up in absolute hysterics over similar situations. Funnily enough, the "offended party" were never actually offended and more embarrassed by the do gooders crowing.

People of one race, don't get to decide what offends those of other races.

Why is it racist? It's a compliment.

It would be racist if you didn't comment on her hair because she has a different skin colour!