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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop seeing him over this?

160 replies

9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 17:57

In was going out with a man, he was a good person and seemed well adjusted, going through some career changes so he was upfront about his financial situation - struggling because he is not very ambition at all but still wanted to have a nice life, in nice area, with nice hobbies, etc

We always split 50/50 when out on our very simple dates.

He invited me to have lunch at his and asked if I liked couscous / feta cheese and other things and yes I liked everything.

Got there and the food was nice and tasty but I thought if was me cooking it I would have used more feta cheese and / or cut bigger pieces because the pieces he used were tiny and it would be much tastier if there was more of it. He said that was his 1st time cooking that dish and he loved feta cheese so I just thought he ate a lot of cheese before I arrived. All good.

He then started to get a second portion for himself and literally fished out all of the tiny pieces of feta cheese that were left! Spent some time trying to find them all since they were very small and mixed with the other ingredients. He didn't ask if I was going to have a second helping myself though but if I was then there would be no more feat cheese for me.

He invited me for lunch again a couple of days later but I said we were a mismatch and wished him good luck. Was IBU?

To not drip feed - the date before the couscous lunch, we went on a long walk in the woods and before we started he stopped by a corner shop to buy water. The corner shop was packed with people so I waited outside. He came out with a 1 small bottle only - I found it slightly weird because if it was me I would sure have asked whoever was in my company if they wanted water too or just buy a bottle for them. BUT...during the walk, I took my Rebel organic pink coconut water bought in whole foods for around £6. He had never seen that so I offered him a little sip to taste (it is delicious) and he ended up having half to it! and till didn't offer me a sip of his water though.

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 22/01/2023 20:06

9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 19:58

When he came out of the shopping with his water I made a mental note but didn't think much of it as I knew i didn't need a drink I had my own in my bag.

But then when he drank half of my drink and still didn't even care to offer me his - even though I didn't want his - this fact combined with the fact of him buying water only for himself - made me think that he isn't gentleman enough FOR ME

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I imagine you were telling him about your £6 pink rebel coconut water and he wondered what it tasted like, and also probably thought you wouldn't be interested in plain old 50p bottled water..

harrassedmumto3 · 22/01/2023 20:06

Your whole post is a bit odd, but you're entitled to finish things for whatever reason you want.

Hmm11 · 22/01/2023 20:08

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 19:54

Yes, and like for like would be a bottle of alcoholic drink. No bottle of alcoholic drink (other than beer) costs less than £6. So, OP is correct - her bottle of water is cheaper.

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Not true at all, you can get an alright bottle of wine with change to spare. Imagine you could probably get a whole vat of frosty jacks for £6…but they probably don’t sell it in whole foods😂

To stop seeing him over this?
To stop seeing him over this?
ladymaiasura · 22/01/2023 20:10

Dartmoorcheffy · 22/01/2023 20:06

I imagine you were telling him about your £6 pink rebel coconut water and he wondered what it tasted like, and also probably thought you wouldn't be interested in plain old 50p bottled water..

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Exactly this! You say in your OP that he had never heard of it so you let him try it. He probably assumed you already know what water tastes like…

ThinWomansBrain · 22/01/2023 20:11

determinedtomakethiswork · 22/01/2023 18:07

This made me laugh. He sounds like he wants a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget. He also sounds as though he will always put himself first.

A champagne lifestyle possibly cheaper than a Rebel Pink Organic Coconut water from Whole Foods lifestyle.
😁

AliceOlive · 22/01/2023 20:13

I think you are wise to pick up on these cues, actually.

AnotherCountryMummy · 22/01/2023 20:15

He sounds like a right tight-arse! Lucky escape I'd say!

Againstmachine · 22/01/2023 20:17

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 19:54

Yes, and like for like would be a bottle of alcoholic drink. No bottle of alcoholic drink (other than beer) costs less than £6. So, OP is correct - her bottle of water is cheaper.

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Wine does.
Wind your neck in no one said we were comparing like for like. Like I'm going to compare a bottle of alcohol that has numerous dutys placed on it with a bottle of water.

ladymaiasura · 22/01/2023 20:18

“…my drink is not sold in any corner shop!”

Can’t get over the pretentiousness of this quote! 😂😂🤦‍♀️

The two of you don’t sound compatible and you’re not unreasonable to stop seeing him if things don’t feel quite right for whatever reason. The first part of a relationship should be the time that you don’t notice minor annoyances because you are too smitten. You clearly just aren’t that attracted to him. And that’s fine.

Fraine · 22/01/2023 20:18

Yet another man who feels entitled to eat women's food or drink their beverages because he has a penis. YANBU.

Dartmoorcheffy · 22/01/2023 20:18

"No bottle of alcoholic drink (other than beer) costs less than £6"

loads of wines in the supermarket under a fiver a bottle

Againstmachine · 22/01/2023 20:20

Fraine · 22/01/2023 20:18

Yet another man who feels entitled to eat women's food or drink their beverages because he has a penis. YANBU.

Reverse that where you generally get women saying they don't want anything but proceed to eat the man's food.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 22/01/2023 20:21

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 19:54

Yes, and like for like would be a bottle of alcoholic drink. No bottle of alcoholic drink (other than beer) costs less than £6. So, OP is correct - her bottle of water is cheaper.

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There are about 50 bottles of wine available from Tesco that cost less than £6.

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 20:21

Againstmachine · 22/01/2023 20:17

Wine does.
Wind your neck in no one said we were comparing like for like. Like I'm going to compare a bottle of alcohol that has numerous dutys placed on it with a bottle of water.

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Not unless you’re willing to drink student plonk of vinegar. Perhaps you are?

OP was quite clearly comparing like for like. And she was right. You decided to jump in and tell her she wasn’t, so wind your own neck in. The fact that alcohol had duties placed on it is irrelevant to the fact that what she’s paying for her non-alcoholic treat drink is on par with what people who drink alcohol are paying for it.

Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 20:25

ladymaiasura · 22/01/2023 20:18

“…my drink is not sold in any corner shop!”

Can’t get over the pretentiousness of this quote! 😂😂🤦‍♀️

The two of you don’t sound compatible and you’re not unreasonable to stop seeing him if things don’t feel quite right for whatever reason. The first part of a relationship should be the time that you don’t notice minor annoyances because you are too smitten. You clearly just aren’t that attracted to him. And that’s fine.

OMG it is just facts!

He drank half to it - if I wanted more I wanted more I would have to search in a few shops to find it. Sometimes Waitrose sells it but what do you think it is easier to din on the streets of London - Waitrose / WholeFoods or a corner shop?

I can also buy online but I would not get a delivery right there and then, would I?

The point was - his water could be bought anywhere, any corner shop or any other shop and he would probably drink any brand - or even tap water (which I drink BTW) from any place.

The water that I brought for me and he drank half of is harder to get hold of.

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 20:27

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 20:21

Not unless you’re willing to drink student plonk of vinegar. Perhaps you are?

OP was quite clearly comparing like for like. And she was right. You decided to jump in and tell her she wasn’t, so wind your own neck in. The fact that alcohol had duties placed on it is irrelevant to the fact that what she’s paying for her non-alcoholic treat drink is on par with what people who drink alcohol are paying for it.

Show quote history

It is about how people choose to treat themselves regardless of the price too.

OP posts:
Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 20:28

My spelling mistakes are off the charts tonight and I am not even drunk 😱

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 20:33

9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 20:27

It is about how people choose to treat themselves regardless of the price too.

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As I’m clearly agreeing with you, unclear as to why you’re telling me this.

OriGanOver · 22/01/2023 20:35

YADNBU OP - not sure why you spending your money on a treat drink means that YABU to some posters.

He went halfs on a meal that he had more than his fair share of.
He should have asked you if you wanted a water when he went in the shop.
The being greedy for seconds and sorting the nicest bits out for himself is also shit.

^^ those are not good traits. You did not need to use your words ffs. His selfishness/greediness and tight fistedness shone through. Well done for getting rid. Don't doubt yourself now. This is a man who will always consider himself first and you last at the worst, has shit manners which will grate on you at best.

Original poster
9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 20:37

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 20:33

As I’m clearly agreeing with you, unclear as to why you’re telling me this.

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meant to the other poster - bad tagging😞

OP posts:
Againstmachine · 22/01/2023 20:40

From the man's point of view anyone who thinks a bottle of water is worth 6 quid I'd let loose as would be high maintenance.

Badgirlriri · 22/01/2023 20:40

this is ridiculous 😂 dumped him over a bit of feta cheese!
he had a lucky escape.

Grapewrath · 22/01/2023 20:41

This made me laugh. Fishing out feta cheese would give me the ick too

Againstmachine · 22/01/2023 20:41

PousseyNotMoira · 22/01/2023 20:21

Not unless you’re willing to drink student plonk of vinegar. Perhaps you are?

OP was quite clearly comparing like for like. And she was right. You decided to jump in and tell her she wasn’t, so wind your own neck in. The fact that alcohol had duties placed on it is irrelevant to the fact that what she’s paying for her non-alcoholic treat drink is on par with what people who drink alcohol are paying for it.

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Nope you are still wrong , you might as well compare abottle of beer comparing a bottle of spirits is just stupid.

ladymaiasura · 22/01/2023 20:46

9thFloorNightmare · 22/01/2023 20:25

OMG it is just facts!

He drank half to it - if I wanted more I wanted more I would have to search in a few shops to find it. Sometimes Waitrose sells it but what do you think it is easier to din on the streets of London - Waitrose / WholeFoods or a corner shop?

I can also buy online but I would not get a delivery right there and then, would I?

The point was - his water could be bought anywhere, any corner shop or any other shop and he would probably drink any brand - or even tap water (which I drink BTW) from any place.

The water that I brought for me and he drank half of is harder to get hold of.

Show quote history

Oh. I thought your point was that he drank half of yours but didn’t offer you any of his… 🤔