To stop seeing him over this?

[9thFloorNightmare]

In was going out with a man, he was a good person and seemed well adjusted, going through some career changes so he was upfront about his financial situation - struggling because he is not very ambition at all but still wanted to have a nice life, in nice area, with nice hobbies, etc

We always split 50/50 when out on our very simple dates.

He invited me to have lunch at his and asked if I liked couscous / feta cheese and other things and yes I liked everything.

Got there and the food was nice and tasty but I thought if was me cooking it I would have used more feta cheese and / or cut bigger pieces because the pieces he used were tiny and it would be much tastier if there was more of it. He said that was his 1st time cooking that dish and he loved feta cheese so I just thought he ate a lot of cheese before I arrived. All good.

He then started to get a second portion for himself and literally fished out all of the tiny pieces of feta cheese that were left! Spent some time trying to find them all since they were very small and mixed with the other ingredients. He didn't ask if I was going to have a second helping myself though but if I was then there would be no more feat cheese for me.

He invited me for lunch again a couple of days later but I said we were a mismatch and wished him good luck. Was IBU?

To not drip feed - the date before the couscous lunch, we went on a long walk in the woods and before we started he stopped by a corner shop to buy water. The corner shop was packed with people so I waited outside. He came out with a 1 small bottle only - I found it slightly weird because if it was me I would sure have asked whoever was in my company if they wanted water too or just buy a bottle for them. BUT...during the walk, I took my Rebel organic pink coconut water bought in whole foods for around £6. He had never seen that so I offered him a little sip to taste (it is delicious) and he ended up having half to it! and till didn't offer me a sip of his water though.

perhaps if I was a bit more attracted to him I would have ignored or rationalised what was making me uncomfortable but this is not great either - sometimes women get blindsided by hormones and don’t think rationally

Lots of red flags here. You're on your first few dates. He should be on his absolute best behaviour.

Instead he gets himself a drink from a shop and doesn't ask if you want anything. Whoever you're with, you'd ask especially if you were trying to impress them.

He helps himself to seconds without checking if you want any more. Surely that would just be polite? Like checking if anyone else wants the last thing left on the plate. It's rude to just hoover up whatever's there.

He doesn't want to put the effort in to get a job that earns a decent wage as he's due an inheritance. Is this person already dead or is he waiting for them to die? Either way, that's not nice.

The small feta cubes and pink coconut water are distractions here. YANBU to have swerved this selfish, thoughtless person.

Waiting for them to die - his parents btw

To me not a caring person, selfish, not your compatible

Oh I cannot stand a stingy person. It would have gotten worse- presumably he was on his best behavior. YUCK, so unattractive!

YANBU. People who haven’t been with a stingy partner won’t get how utterly awful this can get…

once on our anniversary an ex told me to get dressed up and he’d take me out. I put on a nice dress, feeling excited, as he NEVER took me on dates (cocklodger.)

he took me out : FOR A WALK around our town, then went in a juice shop and bought himself a juice, asking me if I’d like a sip.

I wish I had dumped him right then and there.

disgusting. You’re well rid.

And this is part of why our planet is going to shit. Behind your £1-2 coconut milk is deforestation, cruelty towards monkeys (often used to pick them) and exploitation. We should be buying the highest welfare products we can afford. Not wanting everything cut price and blow the consequences. That's besides taste. It's fine to drop anyone you aren't compatible with.

Blatant ad for Rebel organic pink coconut water (it is delicious).

Nice to see a woman on here with standards. My partner is like you, he’s kind to a fault and very generous, but he’s sensitive to anyone showing signs of selfishness or greed, so he would have picked up in this too. It’s very early days and he’s showing you he will prioritise himself. Is he a bad guy? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you have to date him!

You can stop dating him for any reason but you keep going on about how he drank half of your £6 coconut water and too little cheese - don't you think that makes you sound stingy yourself?

The lunch thing I wouldnt be impressed about.

With the walk I think he was fine to buy just what he wanted (I would probably ask the other person in that situation like you would). Depending on how much of your special water he drank he might have been too greedy.