Been off sick with depression for 9 months, will colleagues think I’m taking the piss if I take the kids to a theme park

[chinateapot]

Just as the title says really. My mum died, lots of issues from that, I couldn’t cope, got a diagnosis of depression and off work since now on half pay. (Civil service so great sick pay )
i want to do something nice for my kids because this is all horrid for them too but wjll my colleagues think I’m lying about needing to be off work ?

Why do your colleagues need to know?

Can you just not tell them?

Why would they even know?

You are encouraged to take steps to get back to normal life again.

They’ll know because our kids are friends and talk so even if nothing on social media it’ll get around

Rightly or wrongly yes, I think they would say you were taking the piss. Two questions though. Firstly are you? If not the second question is do you care?
I think you can be able to have a day out while being unfit to work. I don’t think everyone would share my views though and I think you might need to defend yourself if you go ahead.

If they do, they aren’t being very compassionate.
I’m pretty sure that it’s recommended that you take time for yourself when you have depression, so if you’re feeling up to taking the kids out, that’s progress and should be be discouraged.

Can't you just ask your kids not to mention it, if you are worried?

Obviously being mentally well enough to go to a theme park one day, and mentally well enough to go to work every day, are 2 very different things. So of course you shouldn't be judged for going to a theme park while being off sick with depression. However, anyone who's covered someone else's prolonged absence knows what an absolute bloody nightmare it is, and becoming aware that the person they're busting a gut to cover is having a fun time, never goes down well. So I would go but don't tell anyone, and hope you don't get seen.

Being depressed doesn't mean you lock yourself away, enjoy your day.

It's not a good look, I agree, but as other have pointed out you need to start to get back to normal and I think this will help. I'm sure you're being totally geniune and not taking the piss, but, people do and that's why it wouldn't be a good look. I hope you get better soon.

This was something I really struggled with when I was off with depression. Was I suppose to stay inside, crying on my bed?

The time is suppose to be used to help you get back to a normal life, and that includes going out.
I probably wouldn’t go on a beach holiday etc but days out are fine. Maybe just don’t rub it in their face.

Are theme parks even open and operational this month?

You have been signed off sick from work, not signed off sick from life. Why do your colleagues know the reason you are off sick? It is nothing to do with them.

Please take your kids on this lovely trip. I hope you all have a great time.

Are you well-liked? Someone we all love at work had a few months off after a bereavement. She was taking lovely pictures of her fantastic adventures and no one cared. We wished her the very best.

There are some workshy slackers who no one likes who wouldn't probably get the same reaction.

Not fair because they could be unwell too, but there you go.

I hear you, but it's none of their business. Some of them probably will think you are taking the p*. But I think you should do it. Have fun, and I hope you feel better for it.

Yes this. And please don’t ask your children to keep it a secret. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. Good on you for making the effort to do this .

As a colleague, should I judge, no, would I judge yes.
I'd also be wondering if you'd still be off if you weren't subject to such generous sick pay?

Yes they will.

Getting out and about is good for you when you have depression.

If your colleagues judge you then they are ignorant and ill informed.

If you’re depressed, it’ll do you good to get out. Well done- because I imagine it could be a hard day. Making the effort your children.

It’s not like you’re off with a cough or cold/ backache. Then I’d say you were taking the piss!

Some will. Some won't.
Try not to think about it and do what is best for you and your family. Being unfit for work doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfit to do other things and getting out and about with your children may well benefit your mental health.
When I was on long term sick leave I tried yoga on the suggestion of both my Consultant and physio and met a colleague at the class. She made lots of, very obviously, barbed comments about how well I was looking and it was amazing that I was able to do a yoga class given my illness. A few days later, when I was having a very bad day and still in my pyjamas when a different colleague dropped in, she told me off for not making more effort to get better and said I should join an exercise class! You can't win! Lots of people will have opinions and most of them really don't matter, so try to put it out of your mind and focus on your own recovery.
Get well soon!

Are you making any progress towards returning? Because nine months is a long time to be off, and even in the Civil Service your employment will eventually be terminated if you are not starting to contemplate a return.

Rightly or wrongly, if a colleague had been off for nine months, still showed no signs of returning, and was taking their kids on family days out, it wouldn't cause me to do or say anything but it would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Does it matter if someone is well liked or not?
Fucking work place politics.... if someone is off sick, they are off sick. It is not down the to opinion of their colleagues.

I wouldn't but others I have worked with would. In fact I kicked off a bit in my last workplace when a colleague was seen out shopping when she was off with depression.

Some genuinely thought she shouldn't be going out at all so they had some education about mental health and recovery.

Even if some colleagues might judge and I hope they won't, please don't let that stop you OP. You and your kids deserve a treat.

Whether it's right or wrong, people will and do have opinions.