To not want to cook dinner after 8pm?

[mollynolly]

DH commutes often and informs me around 6ish what train he will be getting home. Often he's in around 8pm, and if that's the case I prepare food in advance and have it ready for then. But my cut off is 8pm, because he's rocked up at 9 before expecting his dinner and by then I am pretty much ready to go to bed.

I do the wake ups, breakfasts, school runs home stuff, caring, studying and all meal prep and cooking.

Tonight I'm tired. I've been deep cleaning one of the kids rooms, and he's autistic so it's super trashed. I've also deep cleaned the kitchen, tidied and hoovered the lounge, done two hours of admin around sons direct payments, school runs, homework time, made tea for both kids, cleaned up and done the dishwasher.

I'm about to do bedtime.

I don't want to make his fucking dinner at 8pm. I want a hot shower, pjs, something quick and easy to eat (if id known earlier he would be later back I could've got myself a ready meal or something) and I want to maybe watch a bit of crap telly and relax.

So I sent this: 'Ok, I don’t really relish the idea of cooking dinner at 8.30 so if you’re getting a late train I’d suggest maybe getting yourself a ready meal, or ideally letting me know in advance so I can sort myself out or eat with the kids'

And I just got 'yeah sorry'

My next reply will be 'Ok sort yourself out, I'll get something for me'

Is this awful? I'm tired!

Not awful at all! I don't blame you. Sod him, get yourself on that sofa!

Can he not reheat dinner when he gets in? Make dinner for you and kids and keep a portion over. I don't understand why he needs something different later on.

I was going to say the same. And if it’s something he would deem a “child” style meal and he doesn’t like it (like fishfingers or something) then he can do his own.

Why don’t you just make one dinner and he can reheat his when ever he gets in, plenty of families deal with this due to shift work, long commutes etc

He won't eat 'kid food'. 😐

I’d be making dinner and leaving him a portion too. Or he cooks his own when he’s home.

Then he can make his own if he's going to be fussy.

My kids eat pasta, jacket potatoes, chicken and rice, homemade pizza. He doesn't consider any of that food fit for an adult man.

My DH won't be home till 9pm this evening, I've got in from work and made us, our DD and my DSS lentil dhal and rice. I'll just plate his up and he will warm it up when he gets in, simples

My autistic 8yo will not eat daal. Or rice. My 4yo might.

Do you need eat dinner op?

Can you come up with some ideas for things that everyone will eat? No way would I cook two dinners, cooking one is bad enough!

Yeah after 8 he can warm it up
thb I think it a little unfair to say you do everything the guys at work while your running the home he’s not sat watching u doing nothing

He either eats what you make or makes his own.

Can you not start to feed the kids shepards pie and the like, then he can just reheat.

I'd actually be ok doing a late dinner only because I have curry, spaghetti bol, casserole etc in the freezer. I'd just do the accompaniments and that's it. We both work full time so batch cooking helps.

Not helpful for you this evening I know. It's a shame you don't get to unwind together over dinner. I hope you get some rest.

Perfectly acceptable, maybe get some decent ready meals, say M&S or maybe cook something like shepherds pie, spag bol, lasagne that can be heated up just for him. My husband was that late, he would always say he’d get fish n chips for himself. Could he possibly get a main meal for his lunch a couple of times per week, then have a sandwich/toast snack when he comes home.

I wouldn't be making a different meal for him. I'd cook something that everyone can eat & keep him some to heat up. If he doesn't like that then I'm sure he can make something himself when he gets home.

I wouldn't eat "kid food" either. We all ate the same here and the kids had to have what we were having.

I wouldn't, under any circumstances, cook more than one meal a night. So either the kids would have to eat what we were having, or he would have to sort out something himself, or eat "kid food".

I would make one meal of proper food and the kids would have to eat it if I was in your situation.

If you like different food from the kids then just make yours at the Same time. Everyone eats together at 6-6.30pm.

If your dh isn’t home by then he gets his reheated or makes something himself.

No way would I do two separate sittings or eating. It’s double the clean up and work.

We have 2 food allergies to consider & my daughter won’t eat anything “spicy” but we all compromise a bit to eat the same dinner - who has time to cook multiple meals? If your husband can’t compromise then he will be cooking for himself I guess - you are not running a restaurant

I never cooked separate meals for the children and for my husband and I. You're just making extra work for yourself. Cook something simple that everyone will eat, and you can either eat when the kids do or wait until later and eat with your husband.

Why can't he come in and cook for you both?

We've just eaten tuna melts and salad because I took DS1 to a college interview this evening and prepared the tuna mixture last night for a quick option tonight. DH 'doesn't like' fish unless it's battered or breadcrumbed so he sorted himself out with something different. Because he's a functional and reasonable adult. Your husband sounds like a bit of a bellend, sorry.

Get some ready meals then serve with oven chips/ peas/ baked potato - I mean prepare it earlier than just stick chips in oven , meat in microwave. -done

With the best will in the world, you are making life harder for yourself by not training your kids to eat adult food. The way you're doing it now, it sounds like you still end up cooking twice even if not for DH.