Wedding guest attire

[honda1114]

NC as I know my MIL is on here!

BIL is getting married in the summer. A little while away, I know, but I have a household full of teenage girls who are obsessing excitedly about what to wear.

Showed one of the dresses my 21yo DD said she liked for the wedding, and MIL said it was far too dressy, and next to the rest of us (who don't even know what we're wearing yet) she will stand out like a sore thumb.

I didn't really know what to say to that as I thought a wedding was about as dressy as you get!

I have been to a few weddings but my DDs haven't been to any since they were small so they don't have a comparison and I can't say I can remember what girls of that age wore at previous ones Ive been to!

I'll attach pictures of dresses similar to what she liked. She doesn't want anything particularly clingy as she is a bit weight conscious (probably due to comments from MIL)

If you saw a young girl wearing a dress similar to these at a wedding would you think she was too dressed up? And if so, what would you expect someone of that age to be dressed in?

Are they guests or bridesmaids? I feel they are a bit 'evening wear' but perhaps it's an evening wedding.

Usually I would say pretty much anything smart is suitable for a wedding. However the two dresses you’ve given as examples I would think of as more suitable for a black tie event than a wedding. They could wear them but I think they may look a little out of place.

I would never wear any of those dresses as a wedding guest. Not at any age. And no matter how good my figure is.

I am surprised at these replies-I think you're right OP, a wedding is a great excuse to dress up and I think they're lovely. I am also feeling upset for your DD about the comments (on this, but particularly about her body!), are you addressing this with her?

Yeah, i they are evening wear really. Long, one colour gowns is very bridesmaids too.

I don't see the issue

No they’re a bit prom/ball dress. Too long, too satiny, too strappy - just not for a wedding.

Is MIL possibly using “dressy” as a euphemism for not feeling it really being appropriate to have cleavage on show and skirt splits almost up to the crotch at a family wedding? They’re more sexy glam prom dresses than anything and I can see why she might think them unsuitable for her young granddaughters.

Ultimately it’s up to them, and broadly I agree that women should be able to dress as they please; but some guidance for young people about wearing clothing appropriate to the occasion goes a long way.

They look more like prom dresses or evening wear/black tie event to me.

PS: JJ’s House is great for flattering, affordable occasion dresses. If your DD wants something in max length there are some great options.

Is it an evening wedding with a black tie dress code?

If not, those dresses aren't quite wedding attire, sorry. I think your dd would stick out a bit if it's a normal wedding dress code, although I appreciate some parts of the country may have different normal dress codes for weddings.

My daughter is looking at very similar to this for prom . They just look a bit too formal.or wedding party.ie bridesmaid to me though not sure the split is bridesmaid. This is more wedding

Thanks everyone, that's pretty unanimous.

Just to clarify no she is not bridesmaid. I'll get her to keep looking, luckily we have plenty of time!

Not my taste (and expensive) but I would think attached is maybe more wedding but still very dressy.

This.

I agree with most.
They are not appropriate for a wedding (unless they are bridesmaids and are the Bride's choice).

My dc and dn are in their 20s and I've seen lots of photos from weddings they have been to over the last 5 years or so, and those dresses are NOT what the young folk are wearing.

Those dresses are evening dress; black tie. A wedding is not black tie.

Your MIL is expressing herself badly but she is quite right: your DD will look silly in an evening dress black tie gown if everyone else is in appropriate daytime wear. Worse, she’ll look like she’s trying to compete with the bride.

Think more something like these styles…

www.hobbs.com/product/tia-embroidered-floral-dress/0123-5152-9045L00-PALE-BLUE-MULTI.html#cgid=clothing-dresses&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=0123-5152-9045L00-PALE-BLUE-MULTI&pos=28

www.coastfashion.com/petite-ruffle-shoulder-tie-waist-dress-/BCC03524.html

www.coastfashion.com/petite-ruffle-shoulder-tie-waist-dress-/BCC03524.html

The problem is that you’ve seen the pictures from the recent Beckham wedding, where the women do wear dresses like that, and not a bra between the lot of them.

UK weddings involving non-celebs are not like that.

You need to try and find some photos of normal U.K. weddings to give you a better idea.

Let her wear it! When was the last time you went out and said “oooh look at her, she’s dressed far to nice”

I dont see the issue! They are lovely for a wedding!

No they are too evening wear they aren't suitable for a wedding

This is a much politer version of what I was going through my head when I was thinking of how to try to explain why these dresses are unsuitable. There’s a difference between ‘dressy’ and this type of dress. These dresses are lovely and I’m sure your dd would look amazing in them, but wedding attire is generally meant to be dressy AND classy. No one wants to be looking at a teenager with most of their tits, and entire thighs up to their bums and bits on show. And the people who do want to look are not going to be the sort of people you want looking!

Lovely dresses, but definitely not for a wedding.

Tbh I would think prostitutes had crashed the wedding.

Your MIL was trying to be tactful with the "too dressy" comment. Those dresses are totally inappropriate for teenagers AND for a wedding or wedding evening do.

I think you're right - a lot of pictures online to look at for inspiration are from celebrities events and the same dress in a normal wedding is too formal.

Thanks everyone for your replies they are appreciated. However I think most will agree that the suggestions being made for an alternative outfit are not what the average 21 year old would like? I can see women maybe 35+ those outfits are aimed at, not much younger women?

Point taken though about the slit and the cleavage.

MIL is right about the dresses, if I saw someone at a wedding wearing a dress like that (excluding bridesmaids) I would think they were attention seeking and tacky.