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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding guest attire

383 replies

honda1114 · 16/01/2023 23:27

NC as I know my MIL is on here!

BIL is getting married in the summer. A little while away, I know, but I have a household full of teenage girls who are obsessing excitedly about what to wear.

Showed one of the dresses my 21yo DD said she liked for the wedding, and MIL said it was far too dressy, and next to the rest of us (who don't even know what we're wearing yet) she will stand out like a sore thumb.

I didn't really know what to say to that as I thought a wedding was about as dressy as you get!

I have been to a few weddings but my DDs haven't been to any since they were small so they don't have a comparison and I can't say I can remember what girls of that age wore at previous ones Ive been to!

I'll attach pictures of dresses similar to what she liked. She doesn't want anything particularly clingy as she is a bit weight conscious (probably due to comments from MIL)

If you saw a young girl wearing a dress similar to these at a wedding would you think she was too dressed up? And if so, what would you expect someone of that age to be dressed in?

Wedding guest attire
Wedding guest attire
OP posts:
Thread gallery
23
Trixiefirecracker · 17/01/2023 02:07

honda1114 · 17/01/2023 00:00

I think you're right - a lot of pictures online to look at for inspiration are from celebrities events and the same dress in a normal wedding is too formal.

Thanks everyone for your replies they are appreciated. However I think most will agree that the suggestions being made for an alternative outfit are not what the average 21 year old would like? I can see women maybe 35+ those outfits are aimed at, not much younger women?

Point taken though about the slit and the cleavage.

Show quote history

I agree. The dresses suggested are for much older women and not something for a young girl. Is there something on Asos or Boohoo suitable?

HollaHolla · 17/01/2023 02:11

Those are beautiful dresses, and I'm sure your DD would look lovely in them, but they are a bit bridesmaid-y, as some others have said. Probably something shorter - so similar styles, but knee length or something, I'd say.

The comment about prostitutes crashing the wedding is completely unnecessary. Quite cruel - and they aren't tacky dresses at all, in my opinion.

EconomyClassRockstar · 17/01/2023 02:15

They're kind of prom dresses, which is fine if you're a bridesmaid but not cool if you're a guest. However, there is nothing saying a guest can't go all out and look fabulous. Tell them to look at TikTok because there is a myriad of ideas on there.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 17/01/2023 02:33

Is it a formal wedding with bride in a wedding gown and groom wearing tuxedo's? What are the maid of honor and bridesmaids wearing?

TruffleShuffles · 17/01/2023 02:49

I think people are being a bit too dismissive of the dresses and the every alternative suggested have been ridiculous for a 21 year old. I think it’s just the length that is the issue, either of those dresses would work if they were knee or midi length. The split wouldn’t be nearly as obviously in real life, the models are standing to empathise it.

MysteryBelle · 17/01/2023 02:56

I agree with pp and with you op, that the high slits and so much cleavage are not really ideal as wedding guest attire at any age. Maybe something like the dresses but without the slit and a higher neckline.

Dinosaurpoopy · 17/01/2023 03:01

Way too much!

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 17/01/2023 03:11

Consider the type of wedding venue also. Indoors/outdoors.

Princesspollyyy · 17/01/2023 03:13

@RewildingAmbridge That dress is absolutely gorgeous!!

Ps - loving your user name!

NothingButSpace · 17/01/2023 03:22

I agree they are not suitable.

The last wedding I went to was in a five star hotel and the guests were surprisingly casual eg normal everyday summer dresses with sandals. Most guests were in their 20s or 30s. Only one or two of the older guests (eg me) looked formal.

I bought a summer dress for my teenage dd which she has never worn since as dresses are not her style even with trainers.

Everyonehasavoice · 17/01/2023 03:23

Traditionally……..
The dresses you have showed are for a black tie weddings or / those in the evenings
For Non black tie weddings or/ and those with morning suits for men traditionally ladies do not wear long dresses.

Remaker · 17/01/2023 03:29

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/01/2023 23:57

Tbh I would think prostitutes had crashed the wedding.

Your MIL was trying to be tactful with the "too dressy" comment. Those dresses are totally inappropriate for teenagers AND for a wedding or wedding evening do.

Cheers Nanna! These types of dresses are very popular at school proms and look lovely on an older teen. But you carry on shaming anyone who dares to show some skin.

Why are so many people talking about what’s appropriate for ‘young girls’? The OP clearly said her 21 yr old was looking at these dresses.

If it’s a black tie evening wedding then I’d say they would be fine. Anything in the daytime or with a semi formal theme then no I’d say a shorter dress in a floral or if she wants a long dress then a softer, less formal fabric would be more suitable.

KurriKawari · 17/01/2023 03:29

OP, really don't think this is the right demographic to be asking what a 21 year old should wear, neither is your MIL.

Wetblanket78 · 17/01/2023 03:35

She's right she will be mistaken for a bridesmaid. Maybe something not so long and not off the shoulder.

ClubhouseGift · 17/01/2023 03:39

YABU. MIL is right.

It’s not that they’re “too dressy”, it’s that they’re wholly inappropriate for a family wedding.

MysteryBelle · 17/01/2023 03:41

RewildingAmbridge · 17/01/2023 00:14

Last wedding I went to the late teens early twenties women were in nice dresses but nothing that formal. What looked like Ted baker dresses seemed to be popular this kind of thing

This dress is lovely!

newfriend05 · 17/01/2023 03:48

Some of these suggested dresses 🤦🏻‍♀️ .. she 21 not 61 , I'm sure some on here are just jealous, she 21 let her wear what she feels good in the dresses are lovely

Luckingfovely · 17/01/2023 04:01

The dresses definitely show too much flesh for a UK wedding. They are black tie / formal evening wear, totally the wrong style, and very close to what many bridesmaids wear. Just the wrong direction, sorry.

The Ted Baker dress is closest to what is correct, but you need to allow for personal taste! Good luck! Had the same dilemma last year for a dd.

Meatballsforever · 17/01/2023 04:09

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune Tbh I would think prostitutes had crashed the wedding.

I wouldn't be as blunt as that but I would wonder if they were auditioning for a part in 'Game of Thrones'.

Some good advice here; www.brides.com/story/what-not-to-wear-to-a-wedding

Rainallnight · 17/01/2023 04:13

Mynewnametoday · 17/01/2023 00:02

Have a look at Lavish Alice, chi chi London and Quiz - I am in my 20s and get wedding guest attire from those sites. Also Vinted

I love this genuine twenty something insight though I think MIL would probably have a problem with some of these too!

How about Rixo?

garlictwist · 17/01/2023 04:15

I think they are absolutely fine. What's the difference between prom and wedding? None. She's not the bride or a bridesmaid. She will look great.

MysteryBelle · 17/01/2023 04:25

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 16/01/2023 23:57

Tbh I would think prostitutes had crashed the wedding.

Your MIL was trying to be tactful with the "too dressy" comment. Those dresses are totally inappropriate for teenagers AND for a wedding or wedding evening do.

We were all thinking this, admit it 😄😂

I think some were too harsh on this poster. It’s funny, and I’m sure she wasn’t casting aspersions on op’s dd, just on the dresses!

Guavafish1 · 17/01/2023 04:26

I think it's fine

Maybe wear a blazer for the daytime and take it off in the evening

MickeyMouseShithouse · 17/01/2023 04:30

Also, she’s likely to feel really out of place and self conscious if she were to turn up in these dresses and everyone would be looking at her, and she would realise that when she sees that no one else had quite gone to her length.

She wants to look good, but she doesn’t want to feel like other people think she’s tried to hard. - I hope what she picks she feels gorgeous and comfortable in :)