Wedding guest attire

[honda1114]

NC as I know my MIL is on here!

BIL is getting married in the summer. A little while away, I know, but I have a household full of teenage girls who are obsessing excitedly about what to wear.

Showed one of the dresses my 21yo DD said she liked for the wedding, and MIL said it was far too dressy, and next to the rest of us (who don't even know what we're wearing yet) she will stand out like a sore thumb.

I didn't really know what to say to that as I thought a wedding was about as dressy as you get!

I have been to a few weddings but my DDs haven't been to any since they were small so they don't have a comparison and I can't say I can remember what girls of that age wore at previous ones Ive been to!

I'll attach pictures of dresses similar to what she liked. She doesn't want anything particularly clingy as she is a bit weight conscious (probably due to comments from MIL)

If you saw a young girl wearing a dress similar to these at a wedding would you think she was too dressed up? And if so, what would you expect someone of that age to be dressed in?

@SeenAndNot I beg to differ. My dd is 24 and not in a million years would she have worn that to her brother's wedding last year. I'm trying to remember the make of the frock she did wear and will post it when I do. Many of the other guests were 26 to 28 and not one of the young women wore anything like that. There were jumpsuits and individuality galore.

I agree with others beautiful dresses that they are OP, they are evening gown dresses not wedding dresses unless the wedding was black tie.

ASOS do a whole section of wedding dresses

www.asos.com/women/dresses/dresses-for-weddings/cat/?cid=13934&scrollTo=product-202913306

Here are my favourite just from first two pages

www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-pleated-midi-dress-with-ruched-waist-detail-in-purple/prd/203287384?clr=wine&colourWayId=203287385&cid=13934

www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-twist-front-pleated-cami-midi-dress-with-belt-in-oxblood/prd/203273634?ctaref=more+colours+swatches&featureref1=more+colours+swatches

www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-bare-shoulder-prom-midi-dress-in-forest-green/prd/23458757?clr=forest-green&colourWayId=60484856&cid=13934

DD will want to avoid any long dress that looks like

• she's trying to be a bridesmaid (ling dresses)

-she's trying to outdo bride by wearing a long sexy evening dress

• she's dressed in short/ low cut dress like she's going nightclubbing
• avoid black white or any version of cream/ ivory as you don't wear white to a wedding

So anything that is subtle, knee length calf length, is often a safe bet. If it's a short dress then not too far above knees, is best. No large cut outs in dress showing lots of skin or side boob - a slit Is fine but not all the way up. Don't wear a "look at me" dress unless you want everyone looking at her and not at bride and bridesmaids, on which case people will judge/dislike her as will assume she is trying to upstage bridal party. .

Cleavage spilling out and slit to the crotch is not suitable. Nor comfortable for an all day plus late night event! Guests are there to celebrate a marriage, not get laid themselves and paid for it.

Did wore the first one to prom. The slit was actually subtle, it’s the pose that makes it look horrendous. She looked gorgeous in my obviously unbiased opinion.

They’re not right for a wedding though. I like the short versions people have posted

Dd. And her cleavage wasn’t spilling out either!

I’m 29, and have many friends who are in early twenties and consider my fashion to be basically the same as when I was 21 and I can’t believe only one person has mentioned ASOS! Literally that’s where I would get clothes from. They do such a variety of dresses for wedding guests I’m sure your daughter could find something she liked. They’re very age appropriate outfits. Also, news flash but some people just have breasts. They don’t have to dress like a nun to please you… however I do agree that those dresses might be a bit inappropriate but purely because they look very similar to bridesmaid dresses (due to cut and material). Just browse Asos wedding guest section. Your daughters will have a lovely time!

As well as being four years older than OP's daughter, I also got married two years ago and obviously I have a lot of friends in the same age range. They all wore wedding-appropriate dresses! I don't understand why people think that young people have no grasp of social norms just because we also aren't prudish about whipping some leg out 🤣 you can also make your older relatives blush with your inappropriate exposed flesh in a day dress, you know!! 😉

It's not that I'd have somehow been upset or felt upstaged if one rocked up in evening-wear (don't understand that line of thinking tbh), I'd have just thought they looked like a nob!

This is the comment I've been scrolling for!

WHY oh WHYYY are you asking their grandmother and your mother in law???

Go directly to the bride, first ask her what bridesmaids colour is so you know to avoid and then what the dress code is (e.g. long dresses/short dresses). I would have loved this as a bride! Nobody asked me anything as they all thought I was 'too busy' in reality I wanted to talk about dresses and get excited with guests.

And ASOS is THE place to go. They have quite literally hundreds of suitable wedding guest dresses and a section especially for it.

I'm wearing that exact green dress as a bridesmaid in March.
It's also backless with a tie up back.

Probably a tad too dressy as a guest.

My 16 year old is looking at similar dresses (without the split - I have vetoed) for her prom. I agree they aren't really suitable for a daytime wedding. Long gowns are (I would say) for lack tie/evening events.

Particularly WHY are you involving MIL when it's obvious she's made some not so nice comments about your daughter's body in the past

I don’t feel those dresses are particularly appropriate for a wedding, nothing to do with how revealing they are, they’re simply not suitable wedding attire, they look more like evening wear.

I will also add my voice, those are evening black tie dresses, not wedding guest dresses.

your mil was completely right

How have I twisted what you said? Someone said she would look like a prostitute, you agreed thats what everyone was thinking

Or are you one of these that thinks it's ok it's just bants, lols.

And I'm not humourless, maybe you're just not particularly funny? How bizarre to think everyone should find the same things funny

“Individuality galore” but not the one I posted?

I went to 60 weddings last year. Trust me when I say that age group wears anything and everything, and the dress I posted no one would bat an eyelid at. Pretty, young, not too revealing (obviously depends on body shape).

Oasis. warehouse, Kitri snd Rico have great dresses
www.oasisfashion.com/metallic-halter-neck-midi-dress/BAA02160-1.html?color=137

www.warehousefashion.com/wh-x-the-british-museum-the-charles-rennie-mackintosh-collection-ruffle-maxi-dress-in-floral/BWW02192.html

kitristudio.com/products/leia-pink-retro-floral-dress

rixo.co.uk/collections/occasion-dresses

Zara is also a good option

Okay I see people's points about the slit/cleavage etc but I still don't think they're too 'out there'. What sort of wedding is it OP? I Stately home all day thing or a registry office/knees up at the local venue means very different attire.

Also, some of the suggestions for 21 years old and below I think I'm too young for and I'm 41!

Typical Mumsnet meanness in the responses.

I always, always have much more of an issue with people turning up to weddings underdressed. A dress being a bit “evening” is a minor issue and can easily be rectified with some sort of jacket? I’d need to be 20 years younger to know what a 22yo would wear on top of a dress like that and not look frumpy though…

@Patienceisntvirtuous even at a stately home, I'd be surprised to see a dress like the ones in the OP unless the dress code was specified to be black tie or similar

My DDs are a little older than your DDs (mid 20s). They have been to a LOT of weddings over the last 12 months. They have worn crop top co-ords like this

www.shein.co.uk/Floral-Print-Ruffle-Armhole-Shirred-Crop-Top-Skirt-Set-p-6807057-cat-1780.html?skucode=I3g5wsijqsep&url_from=ukadplasw2111026456163043L_GPM&cid=16905480373&setid=&adid=&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=Cj0KCQiAq5meBhCyARIsAJrtdr6XRinvtHk423BZ4yEpw5Zpxtz1HWnCqhYWBTYSGTAuC1zZ_By5MTYaAuUREALw_wcB

with a jacket over for the service. They have also worn jumpsuits or the ubiquitous body con midis and heels. All the outfits have been suitable for wearing for nights out after the event as well. They aren't in a position to buy things that will only be worn once. Between themselves and their friends there has been a lot of outfit swapping and sharing so these choices seem to be fairly standard.

someone upthread mentioned Ted Baker - I think that's a good call if the budget will stretch to it. And you could always eBay it after the wedding.

Tbh they really are too sexy for a wedding. But she’s 21 so she gets to choose.

I've seen plenty of people in those kinds of dresses for a wedding, the classic big floral prints on shift dresses or pencil dresses looks mostly very dated now, especially on a 21 year old! I would only have the same concern that they might be too bridesmaid-y!

Both those dresses are perfectly lovely for a 21 year old, they only look 'too much' because the models are standing in a demented way to demonstrate the splits. The green is particularly lovely.

The issue with these dresses for weddings is definitely that they look too bridesmaid-like.

I’ve been to weddings where they definitely wouldn’t look out of place.

I've seen many similar! I've been to a fair few weddings. People wear variations on things I guess. As a PP said, the slit on those isn't going to be visible all the time-the models stand that way so that people know the frock has a slit in it, nobody stands like that all night.

In fairness, I would assume a jacket or cover up with them.

The prostitute thing made me laugh. I went to a recent wedding and a lot of evening/revealing clothing featured. Maybe my friends are just brazen hussies.