Wedding guest attire

[honda1114]

NC as I know my MIL is on here!

BIL is getting married in the summer. A little while away, I know, but I have a household full of teenage girls who are obsessing excitedly about what to wear.

Showed one of the dresses my 21yo DD said she liked for the wedding, and MIL said it was far too dressy, and next to the rest of us (who don't even know what we're wearing yet) she will stand out like a sore thumb.

I didn't really know what to say to that as I thought a wedding was about as dressy as you get!

I have been to a few weddings but my DDs haven't been to any since they were small so they don't have a comparison and I can't say I can remember what girls of that age wore at previous ones Ive been to!

I'll attach pictures of dresses similar to what she liked. She doesn't want anything particularly clingy as she is a bit weight conscious (probably due to comments from MIL)

If you saw a young girl wearing a dress similar to these at a wedding would you think she was too dressed up? And if so, what would you expect someone of that age to be dressed in?

@garlictwist What's the difference between prom and wedding?

Are you serious?

A prom is a chance for young people to get dressed up and enjoy themselves.

A wedding is a special day for two people (bride and groom) which others have been priviledged to attend.
So you attend a wedding to honour (and support) the couple. Your appearance should reflect that.

Too much tits and leg.

There is an etiquette and dress code for weddings that will be explained on the invite:

Morning dress: tails for men, smart daywear for women - skirt suits, shift dress etc. usually for a day wedding.

White Tie: full evening dress. Evening wedding. More like what you have posted

Black tie: dinner suits for men and more glam cocktail dress. Sparkles and satin a bit like your dress. Evening glam wedding

No description and starts before 6pm? Go with smart daywear so a smart or pretty shift dress, summer floaty works perfectly.

Unless it's a white tie/black tie evening and a specifically glam then those frocks are too dressy sorry

Thigh split dresses not appropriate for a wedding.

My nieces looked gorgeous for their dad’s wedding last year, one had a long clingy dress on which had a split up, so it wasn’t prom like, it looked lovely. The other had a very short dress on, which was probably a bit more suited to a nightclub but she is 21 and when she added a jacket it was appropriate.

I don’t like the dresses (very revealing) but they’re not inappropriate for a wedding. I usually wear long dresses in block colours to weddings and haven’t been mistaken for a bridesmaid.

I think they’re lovely. If it makes you feel better my 21 DD met us at the hotel from university when it was her cousin’s wedding so we only saw her outfit as she arrived. It was this type of dress, no one cared, my niece didn’t have a problem at all with it being black or being short.

Thanks for those. My dd will be 15 next year and those are great along with the usual retailers like Boohoo, hein etc. Cannot imagine anyone younger than late twenties plus in Hobbs!

I think she is using the word dressy but what she really means is too much flesh on show for a wedding - plunging neckline, thigh high split - these look more like prom dresses I think than wedding appropriate attire.

I agree. It's a family wedding, not cool having your pervy uncle ogle your boobs (and yes he shouldn't, but he will)

I think they're fine although would encourage her to have a shawl or something for the daytime. Got married not that long ago and I had a relative in her early 20's wearing something like this, she looked great.

Generally I would say a 21 year old should wear what they like but at a wedding you do have to factor in the bride’s feelings and those dresses are about being the centre of attention so they are a bit risky. Could you find out what it is that DD likes about them, like colour, fabric, shape and keep looking for something with that element but less full-on? Like a jewel colour skater shape satin dress with a pretty top half? Would still have the “wow” factor that I think your DD wants but less Diva.

Young girls these days seem to think that anything that doesn’t have that amount of flesh on display is “mumsy”. There is a middle ground I think.

I see what you're saying but I would be gobsmacked if the bride is upstaged by this. Bridal dresses are normally much more elaborate.

As a bride I wasn't worried at all when one of my younger cousins wore something like this. It didn't even cross my mind that she might be attention seeking/ trying to 'upstage' me.

People who think that way must be quite insecure - it's literally the bride's wedding - of course she's going to be the centre of attention!

Snowlolo it is fabulous that you are so self-confident but not everyone is. The OP will know best anyway which side their bride falls down on.

I was looking at old photos the other day, and reminded of how wedding fashions have changed. In the 90s it was all suits, jackets and hats. No shoulders or very short skirts. I suppose it was church wear.

I recently worked in hospitality and noticed that people wear more evening or even club wear, even the bride!!

Therefore I think these dresses are not appropriate, but what do I know!!

No, I dont think everyone was thinking she would look look like a prostitute. What a vile and disgusting thing to say about a 21 year old wearing a full length dress with a slit.

Honestly, OP you've asked on the worse section of this site for advice. From this post alone, everyone seems jealous that they couldn't carry off your daughters possible contenders for a dress so instead, they've decided to think how low they can sink in terms of derogatory name calling to make themselves feel better and to try and shame a 21 year old.

Incidentally, why is what a grown woman deciding what to wear to a wedding being discussed with the whole family as well as being put out to debate on a website?! And why is she BU to wear either of those dresses? More so why do people on this thread think they are the authority on what is suitable and also take the opportunity to degrade her in the process?!

The most discussion this requires with anyone outside of the 21 year old, her sisters and parents is the colour scheme so that she doesn't look like part of the immediate bridal party. Neither of those dresses are inappropriate and if she feels comfortable and confident then she should go for it.

I just hope you don't show her this thread or repeat the comments and make her even more conscious of how she looks, like her granny has already done.

As a general rule i think wearing a full length dress to a wedding (unless its black tie) is a nono. Twice ive been at a wedding when someones done that and the colour has almost been the same as the bridesmaid dresses. They've spent the day ducking out of bridesmaid photos the photographer kept trying to rope them in on and explaining that no, they arent a bridesmaid. Especially once the evening guests arrive who haven't seen the ceremony.

So everyone needs to cover themselves up because a pervy Uncle can't control himself?!?! Gotcha...

Absolute crying shame that no one on the family could possibly have a word with the pervy Uncle about how he makes people feel when he acts this way.

Since when have other people dictated what others wear to a wedding? Unless your DD's are wearing a long white dress, with a veil, then it is no one else's business to comment on.

Like what about this one? Keeps the top half elements and colour/fabric of the first one, but skater style instead of maxi.

You twisted what I said. Not talking about the daughter, talking about the dresses. As you well know I made clear.

How humorless you are. Look at your post, so dramatic and serious. Are you going to charge us all with a crime? Goodness 😀😂

Way too over dressed for a wedding imo.

This is ball attire. Formal dance like prom etc.

I would say inappropriate in daylight hours.

Those are very sexy dresses and not at all appropriate for a wedding. Where I come from it’s formal attire at weddings, elegant dresses, suits, etc, not vagina and tits hanging out.