Settle a household debate - having a drink and being in charge of kids

[DuffLite]

How much would you say is fine to drink if you were “in charge” of your kids on say a Saturday night. All already fed and nobody needing to go out so no requirement to cook etc - everyone just chilling out for the evening, doing their own thing

How old are the kids?

Half a bottle of wine.

Are the kids awake or asleep?

You don’t say how old the kids are OP. I think if they are secondary school age you can get pissed. Maybe a bit less so if ks2. Less
pissed again if ks1 and then should
probably keep a lid on it if any younger as you never know what’s next, plus they’ll get you up early.

Kids are 1, 2.5 and 7

A couple of glasses of wine.

Only 1 - I worry that in an emergency I'd be over the limit to drive

If my own kids:
A little baby - a large glass of wine.
A 13 year old - a bottle of wine.
Wouldn't drink if babysitting someone elses kids

Only as much as would allow me still to drive in an emergency

I happily have a bottle of wine when DD in bed. Had more at Christmas and the odd glass or two when she is awake.

I don't really drink at home but, if I did, I'd be fine having half a bottle of wine, maybe more. I would never have to drive anywhere as we don't have a car.

In that case, using that logic, do you never ever have a proper drink? Planning to be on red alert for emergency 24/7/365 feels ridiculous to me?

Anxiety disorder?

I don't really worry about it but DH and I aren't big drinkers (e.g. although we drink regularly we would never finish a bottle of wine between us on a Saturday night). I think it's OK to feel slightly tipsy as long as you are able to behave sensibly if need be. If you struggle to walk or control yourself or vomit you are far too drunk.

A few glasses of wine, maybe a bit more. But quite happy that we could get anywhere in an emergency via taxi, neighbours, friends and family. Might be different if we were very isolated.

This.

With toddlers I probably wouldn’t drink as they’re usually/ often up in the night etc as well. I’d want to be able to hear them without being out of it.

In that case, using that logic, do you never ever have a proper drink? Planning to be on red alert for emergency 24/7/365 feels ridiculous to me?

What if you suddenly weren’t able to drive due to another reason (not everyone can) - panic stations?

We have never drank more than half a bottle of wine each, regardless of our teenage child's age dont think we could do more now even if we wanted too

An age us feeling old thing

In sole charge of children that age, I wouldn’t drink past the driving limit.

@DuffLite You don't have to have an anxiety disorder to want to be in control in case of an emergency. Bit of a charged response there OP. How much do you drink, and has someone queried it?

I don't drink anymore but when I did she. DS was little, I'd only have two glasses when they are so little. Couldn't feel fragile in the morning with three kids 😂

@DuffLite

Absolutely no anxiety disorder here far from it actually 😂 but I am a single parent with 3 young children and no family locally

To Be honest 1 drink is enough for me - my one year old twins barely sleep through the night and dealing with that and a fuzzy head from alcohol wouldn't be a pleasant experience and definitely not worth it!

Anxiety disorder???

What is a 'proper drink'? Maybe you have a drink problem?

A drink, ok. But I make sure I am legal to drive..........you know, in case they need to go to A&E or the like.

To those talking about the effects the next day, discount those for the purposes of this discussion as the next morning someone else is looking after them

It depends on how old the children are and how much you tolerate alcohol, some people drink half a bottle and are fine and others a quarter bottle and they are falling asleep. I think if you are near a hospital or hours away is also a factor. If there is another adult less drunk or sober.

If you want to get drunk you'd need to have someone sober or less drunk or arrange for them to be looked after by someone else (sleepover) or you are out and they have a babysitter til the morning or something.

Some parents get drunk with their children at home but it's not great you don't get to enjoy your drink as you will feel guilty the next day. Life changes so much after children, the old you is forever gone. The sooner you accept this and embrace motherhood the better it is for everyone.