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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Settle a household debate - having a drink and being in charge of kids

523 replies

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:01

How much would you say is fine to drink if you were “in charge” of your kids on say a Saturday night. All already fed and nobody needing to go out so no requirement to cook etc - everyone just chilling out for the evening, doing their own thing

OP posts:
doadeer · 16/01/2023 20:12

What's a "proper drink?"

Curiosity101 · 16/01/2023 20:12

Based on those ages I'd say around 4-6 units maximum depending on your tolerance levels (4 if tolerance is low, up to 6 if tolerance is high). Theoretically if you drank that over a few hours you'd only need another few hours to be completely clear of alcohol. Will be completely clear by the morning. And shouldn't have any residual hangover etc.

That's 2-3 double measures of a 40% alcohol, half or a tiny bit over half of a 12% bottle of wine or 1.5 to 2 pints of a strong lager like Heineken.

Personally I don't drink more than that anyway cause I don't like feeling the effects the next day 😄. But that's definitely the upper limit on what I'd say is safe, especially with really young kids.

RudolphTheGreat · 16/01/2023 20:12

Personally I'm of the opinion someone should be sober enough drive in case of an emergency. Even more so in the current nhs/ambulance crisis (we live rurally too so taxis would take ages). But then I've never really drank at home so it doesn't bother me not to have any.

JaninaDuszejko · 16/01/2023 20:13

If I'd had one glass of wine I wouldn't drive so I wonder how much those of you who are saying 'enough to be under the limit' are having and thinking it's fine to drive.

When the kids were preschoolers we were 5 mins walk to the hospital and were there regularly with DS and his asthma and ability to regularly injure himself. Still didn't make us teetotal.

MolesOnPoles · 16/01/2023 20:13

Hardly anything. Mostly because trying to respond in the night/ do an early morning after any more than a glass would be horrible (I never regained my tolerance after pregnancy).

Driving isn’t an issue and I don’t worry too much about emergencies - just your bog standard toddler vomit/ worry there’s a wolf in the bedroom/ demands for Cheerios at 5.45.

strumpert · 16/01/2023 20:13

None in those Circs

I was a single parent with children with medical issues and accident prone and I couldn't take the risk.

Original poster
DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:14

3points · 16/01/2023 20:11

It depends on how old the children are and how much you tolerate alcohol, some people drink half a bottle and are fine and others a quarter bottle and they are falling asleep. I think if you are near a hospital or hours away is also a factor. If there is another adult less drunk or sober.

If you want to get drunk you'd need to have someone sober or less drunk or arrange for them to be looked after by someone else (sleepover) or you are out and they have a babysitter til the morning or something.

Some parents get drunk with their children at home but it's not great you don't get to enjoy your drink as you will feel guilty the next day. Life changes so much after children, the old you is forever gone. The sooner you accept this and embrace motherhood the better it is for everyone.

Wow. Becoming a mother isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a life ruiner/life ender.

OP posts:
MrsBigTed · 16/01/2023 20:14

I agree with @thislittlelightomine, @bravotango and @Xrays. I want to be clear headed enough to drive.

Whatatimetobealivetoday · 16/01/2023 20:14

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:07

In that case, using that logic, do you never ever have a proper drink? Planning to be on red alert for emergency 24/7/365 feels ridiculous to me?

Anxiety disorder?

Show quote history

Such a bitchy reply.

riotlady · 16/01/2023 20:15

A couple of glasses would be fine, pissed absolutely not. I couldn’t drive when DD was small so never based my decisions on that.

museumum · 16/01/2023 20:15

Drink driving limit in Scotland is less than a single drink so I definitely wouldn’t drive after even one glass of wine. But I live somewhere with taxis and Uber so I drink up to half a bottle of wine. Though when ds was 1 he still bf so I probably only had a glass or so.

warmeduppizza · 16/01/2023 20:16

With a one-year-old I’d go easy on the drink and stay as clear headed as possible. Stuff happens fast.

Redcisco · 16/01/2023 20:16

Half a bottle of wine
or
Two beers
or
2 G&Ts

That would be enough for me to feel slightly tipsy but not drunk enough I couldn’t quickly snap out of it in an emergency and won’t feel rotten the next day.
Don’t drive though and drink only once kids in bed
but have drank more in presence of kids, e.g wedding or holiday

AuntieEntity · 16/01/2023 20:16

@Whatatimetobealivetoday I think OP is either on a wind up or trying to justify their own drinking.

fruitbrewhaha · 16/01/2023 20:16

bravotango · 16/01/2023 20:06

Only as much as would allow me still to drive in an emergency

But that is so little. You can be over the limit on one 330ml beer

Bytrgrewd · 16/01/2023 20:17

The really surprising thing on this thread is how many people think it’s ok to have a drink and then drive.

senior30 · 16/01/2023 20:17

With a 1 year old I would have maximum of 2 but probably wouldn’t have more than 1 really. Once over around 5 I’m comfortable with a few drinks

IWineAndDontDine · 16/01/2023 20:17

If I weren't cosleeping I'd be happy getting tipsy. I'm a light sleeper regardless.

Donotgogentle · 16/01/2023 20:17

Couple of glasses of wine/half a bottle.

Kids know when you’re under the influence and it can be weird and upsetting for them to see a parent drunk.

I don’t worry about being able to drive.

strumpert · 16/01/2023 20:17

How near to a hospital are you?

pompei8309 · 16/01/2023 20:17

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:07

In that case, using that logic, do you never ever have a proper drink? Planning to be on red alert for emergency 24/7/365 feels ridiculous to me?

Anxiety disorder?

Show quote history

What’s a proper drink? getting pissed out of head with a 1 yrs old to look after ? no , I don’t think anyone would

IWineAndDontDine · 16/01/2023 20:18

Whatatimetobealivetoday · 16/01/2023 20:14

Such a bitchy reply.

Show quote history

Maybe but it's actually a fair point

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/01/2023 20:18

AuntieEntity · 16/01/2023 20:16

@Whatatimetobealivetoday I think OP is either on a wind up or trying to justify their own drinking.

This.

BlackForestCake · 16/01/2023 20:19

I wouldn’t get falling-over drunk if I were in charge of kids. But if there were an emergency and no other way to get to A&E, I would drive over the limit.

(Hypothetical as I can’t drive and don’t have kids)

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 16/01/2023 20:19

As much as I wanted to, but I’d never want to be paralytic ever, never mind with dc to look after. I’d be quite happy to be drunk with dc in the house but I am a happy and capable drunk, not a sad/angry/violent/vomits one.

If I had to be capable of driving in order to look after children I should never have been allowed to care for my dc until they were all over 5 years as I didn’t have a driving license and/or car until then.