Settle a household debate - having a drink and being in charge of kids

[DuffLite]

How much would you say is fine to drink if you were “in charge” of your kids on say a Saturday night. All already fed and nobody needing to go out so no requirement to cook etc - everyone just chilling out for the evening, doing their own thing

My experience was that of a lone parent of 2 dc with additional needs.

I was on call 24/7 for years so to speak. Its absolutely ridiculous that anyone would suggest a couple of glasses of wine in front of the telly somehow made me an unfit parent.

Unless anyone has walked in my shoes having to give up a career and have broken sleep every single night then you have no right to judge two glasses of red.

Its beyond laughable.

I've had to leave my job too because of sick leave with my eldest, it's fucking hard and awful, I'm sorry you're in the same boat!!! I'm not a single parent and I legitimately don't know how you manage, hats off, And I haven't slept a full night in 5 years so I definitely understand the stress. What I don't get is adding alcohol on top, a single glass of red wine and is fall asleep and hear nothing happening, I'm on constant high vigilance for seizure alarms etc. I couldn't deal with a hangover, I think it'd tip me over an edge.

Personally I wouldn’t be drunk after 6 ciders. Starting to get a bit tipsy perhaps at most.

People are shifting the goalposts to support their point of view by suggesting you’d be mortal drunk after a few glasses or wine or several cocktails - no you wouldn’t.

I would be drunk after 6 ciders.

A few drinks is drunk. A glass of wine can be 250ml. Three is a bottle. Even two is more than half. That's a serious amount of alcohol for most people. After a few drinks I would be stumbling and slurring, with impaired judgement and no ability to drive, and I would not feel good again until maybe two days later. If you're doing that regularly you are only functioning normally for one or two days a week. But you don't realise because you never experience a clear head for an extended period of time.

Personally I wouldn’t be drunk after 6 ciders. Starting to get a bit tipsy perhaps at most.

OK now you're just baiting. Or somewhat in denial about your very obvious alcoholism.

OP seems to be on the defensive, and is highly unlikely to back down.

Children deserve better than parents who routinely get drunk in their presence. Weekly isn’t ‘irregular’, and the levels of alcohol consumed are beyond safe limits.

Dress it up how you like with all the jolly childhood memories, but you’re not acting in the best interests of your children if you carry on the way you say you do, and unfortunately you can’t use this patch of the internet to get your partner inside.

Yes but you said you see nothing wrong with getting pretty pissed.

You said it's fine as long as you're not an emotional/abusive drunk.

You said you would only be getting rat arsed after the kids had been asleep for a couple of hours.

Those were your words. You're changing it now to oh no, I actually meant that six ciders doesn't even touch the sides for me and I'm not drunk at all! It's obvious that's not what you meant at the beginning. You were talking about getting drunk.

@Janbohonut

not necessarily - there is a lot less alcohol in wine which is what most people on here drink (when they have a babysitter of course lol)

To be fair 6 330ml cans of cider is fewer than 8 units so less than a bottle of wine. I couldn’t drink that much without being rather drunk but others certainly can.

"Personally I wouldn’t be drunk after 6 ciders. Starting to get a bit tipsy perhaps at most.

People are shifting the goalposts to support their point of view by suggesting you’d be mortal drunk after a few glasses or wine or several cocktails - no you wouldn’t."

I would be. And I think most would certainly be feeling the effects, even if they were not "mortal" drunk

I'd have a couple of glasses not enough to be drunk. I don't have a car so couldn't drive anywhere in an emergency anyway so not relevant.

It's a matter of opinion.

The blood alcohol concentrations don't vary but perceptions vary widely. What one person considers 'drunk' is viewed as another as merely being 'a bit tipsy'.

The dark fruits cider cans are 440ml. How many cans does it take for you to actually feel drunk OP?

I hated my parents getting drunk. They thought it made them fun but it was not ok. I'm a two or maybe 3 drinks on occasion type. I have a 2 year old.

Everything is dangerous. Do you really need that doughnut? Is that cheese a good idea? Do you really need to go scuba diving?

Probably 7-8 cans to start being a bit drunk. Tipsy after 4-5.

My kids aren’t sensitive. They find it funny if we’re tipsy (which is all we’d get while they were around, any further drunkness would be after bedtime)

You realise drinking 7 - 8 cans in one night is the entire recommended units per week (and those units should be spread out)? Not to mention almost your entire recommended calories for a day.

I wasn't a sensitive kid, it didn't scare me but I hated it.

Good job I wouldn’t do it every day or even once a week then!

The technical definition of a drinking binge is 6 units for women. 7-8 cans is 12.6 to 14.4 units. And you're saying this is when you "start to get a bit drunk"?

I think you don't have an accurate idea of what you're like at this point. Either that or you've got such a high tolerance so as to be almost unbelievable 🤔

Incidentally, how can a one year old find it funny when you're tipsy?

Pretty fucking stupid to equate eating cheese with drinking alcohol which, is ultimately addictive and carcinogenic.

Must be all that wine

I obviously didn’t mean the 1 year old

I remember in my kid's kindy class they had to draw posters of what their mums liked doing.

One kid wrote, "My mum likes going to parties then lying on the couch all day."

Kids don't miss a thing. Of course you think it's funny - drunks always think they are hilarious. But stay sober around drunks, just once, and you see something quite different.

Well no, I wouldn't imagine a baby would find their parents getting absolutely rat arsed on cider (your blood alcohol on 6 cans if cider will be massive, you're drunk, you're just so used to being drunk you've forgotten what sober is, it's pretty gross) particularly funny. I imagine they are at least emotionally neglected, somewhat physically neglected and who knows what else. Get some help.