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Original poster

Settle a household debate - having a drink and being in charge of kids

523 replies

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:01

How much would you say is fine to drink if you were “in charge” of your kids on say a Saturday night. All already fed and nobody needing to go out so no requirement to cook etc - everyone just chilling out for the evening, doing their own thing

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/01/2023 20:28

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:25

Lot of worry worts on here clearly

I will get shot down but I don’t see anything wrong with getting pretty pissed so long as the kids are doing their own thing (ie they’ve all had their evening meal etc and are just chilling out and playing etc waiting for bedtime), so long as you aren’t a bad (ie abusive or emotional etc) drunk and so long as a majority of it occurs after the youngest ones are in bed

Social services would disagree.

Being pissed in charge of a one year old is an issue.

DuplicateUserName · 16/01/2023 20:29

You think it's ok to get pretty pissed when in charge of your 1, 2.5 and 7yr old children?

What did the person you were debating it with think?

GemJewels · 16/01/2023 20:29

As much or as little as I fancied.

senior30 · 16/01/2023 20:29

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:25

Lot of worry worts on here clearly

I will get shot down but I don’t see anything wrong with getting pretty pissed so long as the kids are doing their own thing (ie they’ve all had their evening meal etc and are just chilling out and playing etc waiting for bedtime), so long as you aren’t a bad (ie abusive or emotional etc) drunk and so long as a majority of it occurs after the youngest ones are in bed

It was obvious from your initial replies that the answers weren’t fitting your views. It’s not being a worry wart that prevents people from being ‘pretty pissed’ with small children just sensible parenting. If an accident or emergency occurred you’d likely be found negligent so I would be very careful.

selck · 16/01/2023 20:30

I don't drink in front of my DSD at all, DP will have maybe one beer around her at a push. But we don't have her every night, so we drink on days we don't see her. Things would change quite quickly if we had kids in the house every 24/7.

Headabovetheparakeet · 16/01/2023 20:30

Op, are you just looking for people to validate your drinking?

Has your partner challenged you on this?

Whatnextarghhhhhh · 16/01/2023 20:30

GreenEmeraldSea · 16/01/2023 20:11

A drink, ok. But I make sure I am legal to drive..........you know, in case they need to go to A&E or the like.

Maybe this is location dependent but I’d be able to get a taxi to the hospital. Wouldn’t have to worry about parking then either. In fact I’m pretty sure OH took DC1 to the hospital in a taxi once, can only assume he’d had a drink, and I met them there from a work event where I had most definitely been drinking.

bravotango · 16/01/2023 20:30

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:08

In that case, using that logic, do you never ever have a proper drink? Planning to be on red alert for emergency 24/7/365 feels ridiculous to me?

What if you suddenly weren’t able to drive due to another reason (not everyone can) - panic stations?

Show quote history

Yes, I have a "proper drink" if DH is around and not drinking much - tbh a glass of wine is enough for me, don't get enough sleep to deal with hangovers Grin

Also I don't think it's about being on red alert for emergencies, more just driving is often the quickest/most convenient solution to an unexpected necessary journey so might as well keep it an option

WinnieFosterReads · 16/01/2023 20:30

Under the drink drive limit if on my own with my own DC. We live rurally so I'd want to be able to drive in an emergency.

My drinking habits changed completely after DC. Their safety and wellbeing is more important than alcohol and I've seen too many families devastated by living with or without an alcoholic parent. I don't want my DC to think daily alcohol is normal or that alcohol is necessary for enjoyment.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 16/01/2023 20:31

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:14

Wow. Becoming a mother isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a life ruiner/life ender.

Show quote history

If you feel like not being able to get drunk while watching 4 young kids is a "life ruiner" then you have much bigger problems then this "household debate"

FlowersLucy · 16/01/2023 20:31

DuffLite · 16/01/2023 20:25

Lot of worry worts on here clearly

I will get shot down but I don’t see anything wrong with getting pretty pissed so long as the kids are doing their own thing (ie they’ve all had their evening meal etc and are just chilling out and playing etc waiting for bedtime), so long as you aren’t a bad (ie abusive or emotional etc) drunk and so long as a majority of it occurs after the youngest ones are in bed

Because alcohol changes a person's behaviour whether abusive or not. It's not healthy for kids to see you getting pissed up. One of the reasons I gave up.

Cuwins · 16/01/2023 20:31

I agree with @Aloezebra
If not getting completely pissed is a life ender then I think you have a problem.
Honestly my own kids I would have a glass of wine, maybe 2 if partner was sober. I don't drink but that's my comparison with my partner who I'm happy to have 1 or 2 gin's if he is in sole charge, 3 if I'm there and sober. Although I don't think he would drink any if in sole charge actually. And he wouldn't have any until she was in bed and settled in any case.
If someone else was in charge of my kids then absolutely none.
My dd is nearly 1 for comparison.

smileladiesplease · 16/01/2023 20:31

Oh quite young then op.

Are they your kids? I wouldn't have any babysitting. My own at this age share a bottle.

Older pre teens/teens more

SoftSheen · 16/01/2023 20:31

1 glass of wine (but I'm a lightweight).

MysteryBelle · 16/01/2023 20:31

One drink.

I don’t drink much, maybe twice a year such as at Christmas, I tried Baileys for the first time in December thanks to MN and it IS good (in chocolate milkshake made at home), and a gin and tonic in the summer, and when I do I just have one. I think with very young children, I’d be careful in how many drinks. Some people can have two or a bit more and they’re fine.

My dh drinks maybe twice a month and he’ll have a scotch. I’ve seen him slightly tipsy only twice and once was on our honeymoon, married 26 years.

Unrelated! But. I like having a pretty bar set up like in Agatha Christie’s books (grew up reading them) where you have brandy on hand if someone needs ‘bracing’ after dramatic event, or ingredients for a hot toddy, or sherry to offer guests although I tried sherry and didn’t like it. We just hardly ever use the bar, mostly for looks. I like the idea of drinking but I don’t really like the drinking part. Milk is probably my favorite drink, which would probably gross most people out, and black tea preferably earl grey with one sugar and a good splash of milk.

AndyWarholsPiehole · 16/01/2023 20:31

I'd have no more than a glass of wine in your circumstance (assuming no sober adult around).

Wildehorses · 16/01/2023 20:32

Not acceptable if you are looking after someone else's children but if your own, as long as there was a sober adult alongside you then okay I guess ... especially if little ones were asleep

GreenEmeraldSea · 16/01/2023 20:32

Whatnextarghhhhhh · 16/01/2023 20:30

Maybe this is location dependent but I’d be able to get a taxi to the hospital. Wouldn’t have to worry about parking then either. In fact I’m pretty sure OH took DC1 to the hospital in a taxi once, can only assume he’d had a drink, and I met them there from a work event where I had most definitely been drinking.

Show quote history

Fair enough. I still want to be sober so I can deal with whatever god knows what kids can do at times!

Ponderingwindow · 16/01/2023 20:32

Where I live there is no public transit and no taxis. So if I need to take a child in for medical treatment for something that doesn’t warrant an ambulance, I have to drive. Dd has asthma so the odds of that are actually decent. Given my alcohol tolerance that means zero drinking unless DH is home.

Gizlotsmum · 16/01/2023 20:33

Only adult in the house? I wouldn’t drink. Other adults present but I’m delegated childcare maybe one glass of wine. It’s not just being able to drive it’s about being able to make cohesive decisions if a child needed hospital treatment for me

Ruffpuff · 16/01/2023 20:34

Drinking aside, everyone’s comments on driving is so irritating. I don’t drive, so by this logic that mean I can continuously putting my child in danger.

Heyahun · 16/01/2023 20:34

well where we live we’d get a taxi to hospital for a&e anyway so wouldn’t need to drive (we don’t even have a car) We’d have a few drinks once kids in bed - but it’s more that I can’t handle the morning so I only go out and get drunk if I know I have tomorrow off!! 😂

WinnieFosterReads · 16/01/2023 20:35

Yy it is also about decision making. Alcohol impairs it so if you'd been drinking, you'd be at a disadvantage in any kind of emergency.

Scotty12 · 16/01/2023 20:35

Those kids are quite young. But still - couple of glasses of wine? Depends if they’re your own kids and what the circumstances are…

theGooHasGone · 16/01/2023 20:36

If you prioritise wanting to get drunk over your own children's wellbeing, you have a drinking problem IMO. Yes, it's expected that when your children are young you have to dial it back a bit. There will be plenty of time for another drink when they're older.