To be annoyed and angry with DH

[Topoftheworldtonight]

on a 2 night trip to London with DH and the kids. Our first day here. We’re still out now. Since it went dark earlier this evening DH has not stopped saying “we need to go back to the hotel”, “it’s too dark”, “it’s not safe” and so on. I’ve told him to stop and he won’t. Aibu to be angry and annoyed with him? We’re on our way back to the hotel now but earlier I had to keep explaining to him for hours that just because it’s dark we don’t have to go straight back to the hotel. He’s been making the same comments for hours and hours since it went dark

Weird! Does he think vampires come out or something? It’s dark around 5pm!

That's ridiculous, presumably he knows that millions of people like me live in London and go out after dark quite safely? 🤣

I'd find it annoying but maybe a bit less so if the children are little and should be in bed.

is he scared of the dark?

is his idea of a good time sitting in a hotel bedroom all evening from 5pm?

very odd

The age of your children is very relevant here!

But if he doesn’t feel safe he’s entitled to feel that way.

Well it is a bit weird but he sounds anxious. Could you talk to him about it rather than getting angry?

He's clearly not feeling comfortable. Wander round in the dark by yourself if you don't feel uncomfortable with it

Plus how old are the Dc?

He wants to go to the hotel and you've basically said "screw you". Nice.

How bizarre!
Last time we went to London me and DD went to the theatre whilst DH went to my brothers house, we then walked from Covent Garden to Waterloo to meet DH and then all walked back to our hotel, getting back approx 22.30. DD is 9. We were perfectly safe and fine.

I don't know how old your kids are but your DH is sure setting up them to fear things unnecessarily. Is London a bit of stretch for him? It can be quite a 'thing' for those used to the quieter / countryside life.

It's not bizarre. He clearly doesn't feel safe

Are you in Central London? Because it’s incredibly safe and he’s overreacting.

But why doesn’t he feel safe? It gets dark at 5pm, there will still be some kids in childcare/after school settings at that time!

Why doesn’t he feel safe? Surely that’s relevant. I’d listen to him instead of getting angry, how’s that helping anyone?

I actually think YABU
DH feels unsafe and sounds anxious and your dismissing his feelings as ‘annoying’
Surely you could have compromised and said let’s stay out for say another hour, not stay out for ‘hours and hours’ as you say whilst he gets even more anxious

What's he scared of? Is he like this in other cities or is it just because It's London?

What a wet wipe! I'd be pissed off too OP.

is this normal for him?

If this is unusual I probably would have gone back earlier than half 10. But if he normally makes your life smaller and tries to limit it constantly than I totally get just carrying on

Yeah I think YABU. Of course it’s fine to be out in London after dark, but it sounds like he’s really scared. Irrational fear is still fear and belittling it will never get rid of it.

Im irrationally scared of arachnids, but luckily when I ask DH to remove them for me he just does it rather than telling me to stop being ridiculous.

I was / am a Londoner. Central London is pretty much the same level of “safe” at 10am as it is at 10pm! If your dc are very young maybe he’s just flustered about them being awake and out of routine? If they’re teens he’s being odd - dump him at the hotel and go and explore!

Why do you think he is saying it?

it seems odd to choose a break at a time when it’s dark by 4.30 if that’s how he feels

is he having anxiety maybe? Just being away from home? I get that.

This

My thought too. If you choose to visit London in January you know it's going to be dark by 4.30pm. Did either of you not prempt this? Especially him, if darkness is a trigger for some sort of anxiety. Central London is as safe in the evening as it is in the morning.

Ask him if he left his balls back in the hotel.