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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed and angry with DH

358 replies

Topoftheworldtonight · 13/01/2023 22:28

on a 2 night trip to London with DH and the kids. Our first day here. We’re still out now. Since it went dark earlier this evening DH has not stopped saying “we need to go back to the hotel”, “it’s too dark”, “it’s not safe” and so on. I’ve told him to stop and he won’t. Aibu to be angry and annoyed with him? We’re on our way back to the hotel now but earlier I had to keep explaining to him for hours that just because it’s dark we don’t have to go straight back to the hotel. He’s been making the same comments for hours and hours since it went dark

OP posts:
LordSugarTits · 14/01/2023 22:47

"No not at all uptight"

Let's agree to disagree 🤣

cariadghost · 14/01/2023 22:58

I think @dogdaydown 's point has gone over your head, which doesn't surprise me.

LordSugarTits · 14/01/2023 23:57

Not at all @cariadghost maybe go get over invested in a different thread (like I did here). This one is dead now. The OP is probably at home now so just calm yourself.

Plenty of people have told me I'm mental, nuts and deranged and ghastly. You sticking the boot in at this late stage is something I'll let, erm, go over my head

dogdaydown · 15/01/2023 05:48

@LordSugarTits why when you're the most wound up person on this thread are you repeatedly telling others "to calm themselves", it's really quite odd. It's making you look totally irrational and therefore any views you have are questionable.

Do you think perhaps you're the only the that needs to calm down?

Kennykenkencat · 15/01/2023 14:20

Liorae · 14/01/2023 19:48

🤣you survived in the terrifying Mumsnet DARK? It's a miracle!😄

Show quote history

I used to wave 10 year old Dd off each day to go to school on the tube.

I must have been an appalling mother letting my child out to tackle all the people trying to knife her to death or assault her each day.

Ineke · 15/01/2023 17:25

Where is your hotel, if in Central London I would have thought that everywhere is well lit and safe. If he is not used to Cities, then maybe give him some support, he will need reassurance not the reaction you are giving. If you have a nice hotel with restaurants and comfortable rooms, perhaps you can humour him for the first night, and stay out later the second night.

Wimin123 · 15/01/2023 17:37

Poor bloke probably because he would be the one protecting the family if anything happened. London is a violent place, other cities are available but the awkward truth never sits well - murder of a child at a funeral the latest dreadful incident- in daylight near a tube station that presumably tourists use..

TrixieMixie · 15/01/2023 18:18

FFS. Good job he’s in central London, which is very safe, and not, I don’t know, Kiev. YANBU. I’d have no respect for a man - or woman - this weedy.
LTW (leave the wimp)

CountryMouse22 · 15/01/2023 18:26

Central London is so busy the odds are you'd be perfectly safe even up till midnight. It's the suburbs you have to be wary of!

Trinity65 · 15/01/2023 18:27

Lj8893 · 13/01/2023 22:34

How bizarre!
Last time we went to London me and DD went to the theatre whilst DH went to my brothers house, we then walked from Covent Garden to Waterloo to meet DH and then all walked back to our hotel, getting back approx 22.30. DD is 9. We were perfectly safe and fine.

Well bully for You lot!

toocold54 · 15/01/2023 18:27

I’ve been out clubbing London many times and loved it and always felt safe.

However, I do sort of agree with your DH.

It was almost midnight when you got back to your hotel and I’m not sure I’d want my kids out that late anywhere.

UniversalAunt · 15/01/2023 18:32

‘London is a violent place, other cities are available but the awkward truth never sits well - murder of a child at a funeral the latest dreadful incident- in daylight near a tube station that presumably tourists use..’?

To answer that question, the church is on a residential side road that runs up to Euston rail station. Broad daylight, outside a church while a memorial service takes place.

Trinity65 · 15/01/2023 18:38

Hobbesmanc · 14/01/2023 07:30

Poor bloke. He's a wet wipe, moist, a drip, lacks balls etc etc. The op hasn't really put any context around the trip, where they've travelled from, if this behaviour is out of character etc. So some of the spiteful harpies need to wind themselves in.

Totally

Hmm1234 · 15/01/2023 18:41

Maybe he’s tired and wants the kids in bed! Can’t think of anything worse

dogdaydown · 15/01/2023 18:53

Wimin123 · 15/01/2023 17:37

Poor bloke probably because he would be the one protecting the family if anything happened. London is a violent place, other cities are available but the awkward truth never sits well - murder of a child at a funeral the latest dreadful incident- in daylight near a tube station that presumably tourists use..

Such catastrophing!!

Clarabell77 · 15/01/2023 18:59

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable as it seems odd but I’d have to know more about why he’s so anxious.

CantPreventSpring · 15/01/2023 19:22

Lol I walk my 3-year-old home from nursery in London at this time, with the baby in the buggy too.

I feel sorry for OP's husband to an extent, but why the hell did he plan or agree to a January trip to London if this is how he feels. It's not rational and it's not fair on his family. I would feel angry in OP's position too.

Solonge · 15/01/2023 19:31

StollenAway · 13/01/2023 22:50

Yeah I think YABU. Of course it’s fine to be out in London after dark, but it sounds like he’s really scared. Irrational fear is still fear and belittling it will never get rid of it.

Im irrationally scared of arachnids, but luckily when I ask DH to remove them for me he just does it rather than telling me to stop being ridiculous.

….and that helps conquer your fear how?

LordSugarTits · 15/01/2023 19:41

"Lol I walk my 3-year-old home from nursery in London at this time, with the baby in the buggy too."

Your nursery is open at 11pm?

Trying2bkind · 15/01/2023 19:51

YANBU. Just it’s not easy to probe in front of the kids.
Your previous experience suggests somethings has happened to his mental health in the interim.

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 15/01/2023 19:53

What a wuss! Leave him at home next time.

Lovely13 · 15/01/2023 19:59

Anxiety manifests itself in many ways. Do know how he feels. Mine can kick off when I see the gap between platform and train, for example. It’s bonkers, but I can’t help feeling the way I do in that moment. Be kind to him. A reassuring hand and some helpful words. Deep breaths on your part help, too. Hope most of your outing was good.

CantPreventSpring · 15/01/2023 20:00

LordSugarTits · 15/01/2023 19:41

"Lol I walk my 3-year-old home from nursery in London at this time, with the baby in the buggy too."

Your nursery is open at 11pm?

No, at 5 which is after dark right now. Mine are too small to be awake at 10.30 but I'd take school age kids to the theatre, get a train home to our zone 3 neighbourhood and walk from the station as a family with no concerns. I live near the station and the route is well lit. There's parts of London I'd not like to be by myself or just me and the kids at 10.30, central I'd feel fine.

oosha · 15/01/2023 20:12

Tell him to get a grip, it’s bloody London FFS! Talk about overreacting.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 15/01/2023 22:28

Where in London were you? And where on earth is he from that he can’t wander around london after 5pm?

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