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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder whether this qualifies for compassionate leave?

199 replies

nhspolicy · 12/01/2023 18:30

Situation as follows:

NHS employee, bereaved unexpectedly - think extended family member like Great Aunt/Uncle. Person was very close to the deceased person and was very distressed by the loss. 3 days absence from work following the news.

Which is the fairest option of these for the employee's manager to choose in respect of the above?

  • compassionate/ special leave
  • sick leave
  • annual leave
  • unpaid leave

Thanks.

OP posts:
workiskillingme · 12/01/2023 18:31

I would say sick leave but I really think it's managers discretion. My god daughter passed away and didn't even get compassionate leave for the funeral had to take annual leave

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 12/01/2023 18:32

Show some compassion and grant compassionate leave. This is a non question.

Original poster
nhspolicy · 12/01/2023 18:33

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 12/01/2023 18:32

Show some compassion and grant compassionate leave. This is a non question.

It's not me making the decision unfortunately

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 12/01/2023 18:34

It depends on the policy. Where I work you’d get a day for the funeral and anything else would be sick or annual leave. But managers have some discretion. I’d give a day or two compassionate leave

Fairydustandsparklylights · 12/01/2023 18:34

I’m a teacher in a secondary school. It would be unpaid leave and a very clear message that it’s completely unacceptable to be off for that reason.

underneaththeash · 12/01/2023 18:35

This would be either annual leave or unpaid in all the jobs I've worked in.

Number109 · 12/01/2023 18:35

I’d probably say annual leave or unpaid. Imagine how many great aunts and uncles a whole team of people will have!

ChicCroissant · 12/01/2023 18:35

Annual leave or unpaid leave (if they have no holidays left to take).

fairgame84 · 12/01/2023 18:35

I've worked in the nhs for 16 years and extended family bereavement isn't normally covered by compassionate leave. I'd say it would be sick leave.

toomuchfaster · 12/01/2023 18:36

Annual leave here, or unpaid if none left.

CMOTDibbler · 12/01/2023 18:36

Annual or unpaid leave. We only get 3 days compassionate leave and it has to be parent/spouse/child not extended family

Battlecat98 · 12/01/2023 18:36

As an NHS nurse manager I would give compassionate leave.

fairgame84 · 12/01/2023 18:37

I say sick leave because they would have been too stressed/distressed to work.

Ilovethewild · 12/01/2023 18:37

It depends on the policy, what does policy say? Some specify relative, eg aunt/uncle, sibling etc. manager may have discretion but if not then take as AL or unpaid.

employers can’t give leave for every eventuality. Adults take responsibility for themselves and their needs. If this person needed 3 days off then take those as AL.

sick leave is for those sick!

Wowzel · 12/01/2023 18:37

It doesn't meet the criteria for compassionate leave in the policy where i work (nhs) so would be annual leave. If no annual leave left it'd be authorised but unpaid

TerfOnATrain · 12/01/2023 18:37

Compassionate leave at my employers is parent, child or sibling. That’s it, so it would be annual leave or sick leave if really distressed.

tbh, without that policy, the huge number of piss takers in our organisation would be off on compassionate leave if the butchers dog passed away.

Itsrudemeghan · 12/01/2023 18:38

Annual or unpaid. In reality in workplaces where this is policy managers often conveniently forget to update the employee record system.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 12/01/2023 18:38

It’s a great aunt. Sorry but where does it stop? Choice of unpaid or annual leave.

1Wanda1 · 12/01/2023 18:39

Well the employee can self-certify for 3 days' sick leave anyway - for stress/anxiety, so surely it's a bit of a non-issue?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/01/2023 18:40

From NHS experience, a bollocking for not putting the patients first and a begrudging annual leave if enough remained, disciplinary and unpaid if not. An annoyed approval if actually a parent for one day.

There are a few reasons why I won't work for them again. Seeing a woman harangued by a manager for her mother not managing to die neatly within one working day was one of those reasons.

DelphiniumBlue · 12/01/2023 18:40

3 days leave for a great aunt/uncle? Maybe a day for the funeral, but why do they need 3 days? I speak as someone who managed to work the day after my dad died, as did my brother and my father's brother. I get that it might be harder in some jobs, and I was working in the family business, but you can work even if you are sad.
Possibly the person doing the organising of registering the death, sorting the funeral etc needs time to do that as it involves visits to places only open during the working day, is that why the person needs time off?

EdithWeston · 12/01/2023 18:41

It ought to be unpaid leave, but someone might want to turn a blind eye to using sick leave for this (broad interpretation of stress)

Public employers have pretty strict rules (based on degree of kin or whether one is a dependent) about who qualifies for compassionate leave - it sounds as though your friend wouldn't.

Is there anything in the staff handbook giving examples of what might qualify as special leave?

ilovesooty · 12/01/2023 18:42

sick leave is for those sick

@Ilovethewild Is it impossible for you to imagine that someone distressed by a death might not be able to work?

LlynTegid · 12/01/2023 18:43

Annual or unpaid leave.

Discretion when exercised might seem reasonable, but then there will be someone who will abuse it.

Viviennemary · 12/01/2023 18:44

Annual or unpaid leave would be appropriate if it isnt a close relative.