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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder whether this qualifies for compassionate leave?

199 replies

nhspolicy · 12/01/2023 18:30

Situation as follows:

NHS employee, bereaved unexpectedly - think extended family member like Great Aunt/Uncle. Person was very close to the deceased person and was very distressed by the loss. 3 days absence from work following the news.

Which is the fairest option of these for the employee's manager to choose in respect of the above?

  • compassionate/ special leave
  • sick leave
  • annual leave
  • unpaid leave

Thanks.

OP posts:
shivermetimbers77 · 12/01/2023 19:18

I would use management discretion to grant compassionate leave for this, as long as the person requesting it did not have a record of taking special leave for spurious reasons. If they were a generally reliable and trustworthy member of staff then yes , I would absolutely grant it.

Hesma · 12/01/2023 19:20

Unpaid

Bagpuss2022 · 12/01/2023 19:22

My DH aunt died yesterday his manager authorised today off he was going to use unpaid leave but I think it’s all
about discretion

Bluelightbaby · 12/01/2023 19:23

My trust only gives compassionate leave for direct family members. We’d either have to take annual leave, but we’d need to give a months notice !! Or they ‘might’ allow unpaid, but unlikely or we could ask a colleague for a shift swap

RichardMarxisinnocent · 12/01/2023 19:24

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 12/01/2023 19:14

Don't do sick unless sick as that could lead to disaplinary

As had already been pointed out if they're off due to the distress of being bereaved they are sick.

NoSquirrels · 12/01/2023 19:25

Annual or unpaid.

Bereavement is horrible whoever the person is if you were close to them. But compassionate leave for bereavement is usually specified by a policy and it seems very unlikely an aunt or uncle or more distant relative would be considered.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 12/01/2023 19:26

I would use/have used the discretion that managers are permitted under the special leave policy and would grant up to 6 days, which is the maximum per year. Treating your staff without compassion is short sighted.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 12/01/2023 19:29

Annual or unpaid leave.

I took annual leave for my cousin's funeral recently. When my mother and sister died (not at the same time), I was told take as long as you need, which was less than a week in both cases.

If anything happened to DH though, I'd expect a bloody sight more than three days!

ThingsChristmasJumper · 12/01/2023 19:29

Someone at our place had a day off when her Guinea pig died. There has to be a line somewhere for compassionate leave.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 12/01/2023 19:31

Annual or unpaid leave. Compassionate leave at managers discretion, (if the aunt brought the person up etc) but generally extended family would not normally be covered.

YoBeaches · 12/01/2023 19:31

I would give compassionate leave. We're far too rigid with expectations on how people deal with bereavement.

Georgyporky · 12/01/2023 19:31

Depends on Conditions of Service, surely ?
My industry had a clearly defined list of relatives and associated days of paid leave - anything else was either AL or unpaid. Or sick leave if certified by a GP.

Mumma · 12/01/2023 19:32

There will be a nhs policy for berevement.

My company has a polixy you get 1 week berevement for a child, 3 days for a parent and the day of the funeral for anyone else close.

After that you have to take sick leave.

It will be a corporate stance.

Blanketenvy · 12/01/2023 19:33

Decision should be based on the closeness to the deceased rather than based on relationship status. Eg. Some people would need time off for a very close friend but not a sibling. This is written into the (NHS) policy in the trust I work in.

soupey1 · 12/01/2023 19:35

DH was not allowed compassionate when his grandmother died BUT his mother walked out when he was 15 months old, his father remarried and he was raised by her so to all intents she was his mother and he was devastated.

RagingWoke · 12/01/2023 19:37

Not NHS but years in public sector and there is always a very clear policy on compassionate/bereavement leave. For relatives like aunts and uncles it's a day for the funeral, anything else is annual/sick/unpaid leave.

Not saying I agree, the compassionate leave is woeful for most employers I've seen. But the person in this instance would have to use those other options, the manager can support in other ways.

TerraNostra · 12/01/2023 19:39

Why does it have to have an official label? My brother had a very serious accident and was in a coma hundreds of miles away. I had to rush to his bedside. My boss just said “take as much time as you need”. I can’t even remember how HR classified the leave, but it definitely didn’t come out of my holiday allowance and I still got paid. I was gone for 10 days (he recovered, but with life-changing injuries).

tiredmama23 · 12/01/2023 19:39

Mumma · 12/01/2023 19:32

There will be a nhs policy for berevement.

My company has a polixy you get 1 week berevement for a child, 3 days for a parent and the day of the funeral for anyone else close.

After that you have to take sick leave.

It will be a corporate stance.

One week for a child. That's appalling.

I very much doubt I'd be back at work within 12 months if I lost my child.

x2boys · 12/01/2023 19:39

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 12/01/2023 18:32

Show some compassion and grant compassionate leave. This is a non question.

The NHS,have their own rules though I couldn't get compassionate leave when my cousin died of cancer when she was just 24 and I was going to her funeral my manager was very apologetic but said I had to take annual.leave .

TerraNostra · 12/01/2023 19:40

tiredmama23 · 12/01/2023 19:39

One week for a child. That's appalling.

I very much doubt I'd be back at work within 12 months if I lost my child.

Show quote history

I was thinking that too. What a joke.

x2boys · 12/01/2023 19:40

tiredmama23 · 12/01/2023 19:39

One week for a child. That's appalling.

I very much doubt I'd be back at work within 12 months if I lost my child.

Show quote history

It is but that's the way it is most people in this situation would go on long term sick.

TerraNostra · 12/01/2023 19:41

x2boys · 12/01/2023 19:39

The NHS,have their own rules though I couldn't get compassionate leave when my cousin died of cancer when she was just 24 and I was going to her funeral my manager was very apologetic but said I had to take annual.leave .

Show quote history

I don’t understand this. What difference does a day off make in this situation?

Fushiadreams · 12/01/2023 19:41

For,us rhis would be annual or unpaid leave. Compassionate leave has strict rules of immediate family

TerraNostra · 12/01/2023 19:42

TerraNostra · 12/01/2023 19:39

Why does it have to have an official label? My brother had a very serious accident and was in a coma hundreds of miles away. I had to rush to his bedside. My boss just said “take as much time as you need”. I can’t even remember how HR classified the leave, but it definitely didn’t come out of my holiday allowance and I still got paid. I was gone for 10 days (he recovered, but with life-changing injuries).

It never occurred to me to ask any sort of permission…

Idunnowhatsgoingon · 12/01/2023 19:43

If I had have went back to work so soon I would have spent all day crying and not being able to do much work/hiding in the toilet so people didn't see me cry..

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