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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Singe dad co sleeping with 7 year old daughter

198 replies

Pancake2463 · 12/01/2023 01:29

Hello,

Something crossed my mind that seems a bit unusual in my opinion. Is it normal or okay for a single dad to cosleep with a 7 year old daughter? Just found it unusual and concerned a little bit.

Am I being unreasonable to question this?

Problem is these people are my very close family members and I don't want to start something but also concerned for the child.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 12/01/2023 01:31

Sounds pretty normal to me.

Do you mean sometimes sharing a bed, or the DC doesn't have their own bed at all? I think the later isn't ideal but is still the parent's business.

My dc are older than 7 and still occasionally pop into our bed.

JessesMum777888 · 12/01/2023 01:36

Would you feel the same if it was co sleeping with mum ?
Not being antagonistic , just genuinely asking.
mine still come in with me sometimes the eldest is 23 !

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 12/01/2023 01:39

As long as the DD Is OK with it then it's fine imo. And if it's more than just 'occasionally' then she should have the option of her own bed if she wants it.

FWIW I'm a single mum who co slept with my DS until he was 9. He had his own bed, he just preferred mine.

Boringcookingquestion · 12/01/2023 01:40

Do you mean choosing to get into their parent’s bed or not having a bed of their own?

Totally normal for 7 year olds to get into their mum and/or dad’s bed sometimes. I don’t think it matters which gender parent unless there are other reasons to doubt the parent’s motives. Strange (IMO) for them not to have a bed of their own.

MajorCarolDanvers · 12/01/2023 01:48

Completely normal

Thefailinghousewife · 12/01/2023 01:59

At 7 I couldn’t shift my Ds out my bed for love nor money (trust me, I tried bribery!) I can’t see an issue with it so long as the girl is choosing it and has her own space for when she decides she’s ready to go back in her own room.

Nicecow · 12/01/2023 02:00

My cousin conslept with her son til he was 11. I found that weirder. 7 seems fine, it's still very young

Wagsandclaws · 12/01/2023 02:06

My 30 yo pregnant Dd is currently snoring next to me whilst her Dh and my Dh are both away on business at the same time ( separately ).

Her 10 yo brother is the other side of her snuggled up.

It's normal, I have 5 ranging from 30 down to 10 and they have always played musical beds in one way or another.

It doesn't matter if it's a dad or Mum imho. They have always had their own beds though.

PennyRa · 12/01/2023 02:11

Cosleeping with a child is perfectly fine, it's only babies that it can be dangerous for

LordSugarTits · 12/01/2023 02:11

Normal. Why wouldn't it be? I'm very old and would sleep with my mum or brother happily

Thefailinghousewife · 12/01/2023 02:19

Wagsandclaws · 12/01/2023 02:06

My 30 yo pregnant Dd is currently snoring next to me whilst her Dh and my Dh are both away on business at the same time ( separately ).

Her 10 yo brother is the other side of her snuggled up.

It's normal, I have 5 ranging from 30 down to 10 and they have always played musical beds in one way or another.

It doesn't matter if it's a dad or Mum imho. They have always had their own beds though.

This is lovely ❤️

azimuth299 · 12/01/2023 02:19

If she chooses to snuggle up with him then it's completely fine. I'm guessing if he's a single dad (is he resident parent?) then the girl has probably had some upheaval in her life and might need more reassurance than average. My seven year olds often still end up in my bed in the morning and I don't think twice about it!

If she doesn't have her own bed though then it's a different story - she's getting older and will start to need privacy and her own space. She might still choose to get in with dad, but it's her choice. It should end when either of them starts to feel uncomfortable.

Appleblum · 12/01/2023 02:39

Perfectly fine.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 12/01/2023 02:55

You sound like you have issues.

Dowhahdiddy · 12/01/2023 02:57

YABU. What a sad world we live in.

Badgirlriri · 12/01/2023 03:01

Dowhahdiddy · 12/01/2023 02:57

YABU. What a sad world we live in.

This.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/01/2023 03:01

Wagsandclaws · 12/01/2023 02:06

My 30 yo pregnant Dd is currently snoring next to me whilst her Dh and my Dh are both away on business at the same time ( separately ).

Her 10 yo brother is the other side of her snuggled up.

It's normal, I have 5 ranging from 30 down to 10 and they have always played musical beds in one way or another.

It doesn't matter if it's a dad or Mum imho. They have always had their own beds though.

All of this. We also play musical beds.

Most important is that everyone has their own though.

theculture · 12/01/2023 03:05

We also play musical beds and it's really nice to hear of others as just this evening I was feeling a bit if a failure!

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/01/2023 03:15

theculture · 12/01/2023 03:05

We also play musical beds and it's really nice to hear of others as just this evening I was feeling a bit if a failure!

Everyone will remember it fondly. I promise.

QuizteamAguillera · 12/01/2023 03:21

What are you concerned about?

I know a single Dad and his dd slept in with him when he had his time with her and it was comforting to both of them after the split.

SavoirFlair · 12/01/2023 03:30

Can I ask you a question @Pancake2463

WHY are you so concerned for the child?

Can you explain that?

dooneyousmugelf · 12/01/2023 03:31

Why are you concerned for the child?

Letshaveablackcelebration22 · 12/01/2023 04:11

Gods sake- these threads about co- sleeping drive me mad. It’s bloody normal to want to cuddle up to your parents- dad or mum as a child 🙄

Se7ener · 12/01/2023 04:55

For a few years as a small child I'd wake up in my parents bed. When Dad's alarm went off I'd go down and have a cup of tea with him then he'd put me back in my own bed when he went to work.
First time in years I've thought about this.
I'm not sure when I grew out of it, but it was a very happy part of my childhood.

Original poster
Pancake2463 · 12/01/2023 04:58

I am concerned for the child because she is a close family member of mine. She seemed really embarrassed about it. It's a large house with extra rooms but no bedroom of her own. Just needed some reassurance from others that I have not missed a potentially abused child that's all.

OP posts: