I’m 45 and due to do this next week

[Lifejustfliesbydoesntit]

Go for an appointment to discuss whether to transfer my final frozen embryo.
After struggling to conceive for 9 years, many losses and ivf rounds, I finally got pregnant at 39 and now have a beautiful 4,5 year old daughter. I just turned 45 and have to decide now whether to use my frozen embryo from when I was 39, if successful I would give birth at 45.
What would you do?

Do you want another DC?

Do you want another child? If you do I would give it a go but realistically the chances of success must be low.

I would first decide if I actually want another child, you don't say in your post if you do or not!

No one can answer that. Only you know whether you want another child for the next 18 years and what the implications of that are for you, personally, professionally and financially. In your position I’d stick at one as I wouldn’t want to be worrying about uni costs when I’m 63 and potentially having adult children living with me when I’m close to 70. But that’s me.

Might as well make use of the opportunity OP.

If you would like another child and can support one, then I'd say go for it.

Sadly the statistics are not always favourable for IVF so I think if it happens, it's meant to be.

As for your age, if you're generally fit and healthy then I think that is fine.

What's making you unsure?

Go for it x

Might as well do it if the embryo is available but try and get yourself into the headspace that it probably won’t work and will be a nice surprise if it does…difficult/impossible to do I know!

There's absolutely no point in asking what we would do.

Do you want another child?

I would do it. I'm a big believer in what's meant to be will be (I know others aren't). I know that, for me personally, the more I agonised over the decision, I'd end up regretting not taking the opportunity because I over-thought it and, if I thought about it too much and then decided to go for it then I'd be devastated if it didn't work because I was so certain by that point that it's definitely what I wanted. So, I wouldn't think about it, I'd just do it - accepting that if it doesn't work out then that would be because it wasn't what was best. It's a self-preservation thing.

You don't say wether you actually want another child but I assume you do? I am very fortunate to have not had the struggle of infertility so appreciate my situation is totally different, but I personally would not want to have a DC at 45/46 as I think that is a little too old. But I understand this is likely your only chance at a second DC so if you really want another, I would say go for it. But be prepared for the possibility that it may not work.

Sorry, yes, I do want another child. I just wish I was younger. My only worry is my age, although I feel great and not too old now, I’m not sure if I’d be doing the right thing.
The embryo is frozen from 39 years old.

I wouldn't do it. Personal choice but it's not how I plan to spend my mid- late 40s and into 50s with a high energy child saying mummy mummy mummy every 4 seconds
Do you want that? It's some people's idea of bliss so each to their own

If you want another child and are healthy and in a good position to cope with another baby, then why not?

You know what it entails, so it boils down to whether you want another baby, and whether you can deal with all the invasion and anxiety now you have a small child and are 5 years older. Maybe you’d regret not using your last egg more than you’d regret trying and failing? Only you know, good luck whatever decision you come to. x

I'd go for it

It's really up to you. I don't think anyone here knows your thoughts etc and your circumstances will come in to play

I had DD from IVF (egg from younger DW) at 42, nearly 43. She's now nearly 4. I am tired and perimenopausal, and wouldn't have another, but I also have 2 much older children.

In your shoes I might want another, but how would you feel if this frozen transfer doesn't work and you can't make more good embryos? I think that's what I'd focus on. It would be so devastating to invest emotionally in this and it not work.

You could always consider donor eggs if it failed.

@1Wanda1 If it didn’t work, I would leave it there. I’ve prepared myself for the fact it probably *Wont work
It’s my remaining one, I wouldn’t continue with donor eggs etc, I’d accept it wasn’t meant to be.

As someone who had a surprise baby at 45, I would say go for it! I managed fine and I think if you don’t at least try, you will always wonder ‘what if’

Age is definitely a factor to consider tbh. But if you feel fit and healthy I suppose go for it..

I speak from my experience as my parents had my youngest sibling at 48DF age 43DM. DF died from an aggressive cancer less two years later. And DM was too old to parent youngest sibling in a way she did for me and my other siblings. Consequently I have an arbitrary age limit for when I will no longer have kids.

But age is different for everyone. If you feel fighting fit and optimistic about dealing with a teenager in your late 50s / early 60s then go for it.

Well you can't go back and be younger. So you need to think whether you want another child now (and park the wish about age).

If the answer is still yes then give it a go or you'll always wonder.

I’d do it, then.

You’re 45 with a young child. Adding another one wouldn’t worry me as we’d still be in small kid mode.

Unfortunately as you know it is the less likely scenario- it’s more likely the transfer won’t result in pregnancy. But if you’re OK with that probable disappointment then nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Well OP if you want another child then definitely go for it.

Wishing you all the best