I’m 45 and due to do this next week

[Lifejustfliesbydoesntit]

Go for an appointment to discuss whether to transfer my final frozen embryo.
After struggling to conceive for 9 years, many losses and ivf rounds, I finally got pregnant at 39 and now have a beautiful 4,5 year old daughter. I just turned 45 and have to decide now whether to use my frozen embryo from when I was 39, if successful I would give birth at 45.
What would you do?

OP, you have been through a lot of pain and sorrow to have that little embryo. Just go for it, do the transfer. Otherwise, you would spend the whole life regretting!

I probably wouldn’t, though not sure if I could resist if the embryo was there.

I was fit as a flea at 45, regularly cycling 30 miles and packed with energy.

ten years later I have arthritis, high blood pressure, weight I can’t shift and I am up half the night with menopausal insomnia; adding a small child to that mix would be hell.

I had my first at 39, my 2nd at 45 after recurrent losses. My children are now 10 and 5. Tbh pregnancy and birth and recovery at 45 were fine, my birth at 39 was far worse physically so took a lot out of me. The sleepless nights were tough but they went on for 2 yrs and were probably made worse by having an older child so not much chance for rest.

Stamina to look after a young kid in my late 40's has been ok tbh. I do keep fit and that is a priority for me so I am hopefully able to carry on! Where I live there are quite a lot of older mums so I don't feel totally out of place!

I would say if you feel fit and healthy and ready then go for it! Good luck!
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If I was in your shoes, I'd go for it. Age is just a number. I'll be 60 when DD leaves school. I don't look it, or act it

In my family babies have been born to mums at 42, 43, 45 and 48. All happy healthy babies and parents. No one gives two hoots about how old we are... in fact most people don't realise how old we are!

If age is the only thing putting you off... forget about how old you are and concentrate on how much love you can give to a new baby.

If it doesn't happen... you'll never regret trying.

I’d go for it. My mum had me at nearly 44. You clearly want another child so go for it.

Well, you were obviously lucky enough to have children in your 20s, so well done you. Not everyone is so fortunate, and not everyone lacks the imagination to consider there are different ways to live which may have other advantages.

It is true that there are risks you will not be there for your grandkids if you have your children in your 40s, but 3 of mine were dead before I was born anyway (one dead before my Dad was born, sadly, and the other when he was 2). My parents had to emigrate to get work, so we rarely saw the one we had, and we managed.

Also true you will possibly be more doddery when your kids are in your 20s, but no guarantee. My parents' health stayed good until their 80s and is still OK, my in-laws similarly. They all have active friends and siblings, so I think to be honest, people are stayingnactive and healthy longer, though no one can guarantee anything, of course.

But life's a lottery and you may as well go for it. Good luck, OP!

The chance of success would be that of a 39 year old, so I wouldnt say low. I think you should go for it op. 45 is not old.

😄

I think you have a good chance as the embroyo was froze when you were 39. Do you know what grade the embroyo was?

Not such a big age gap. Why not?

If you don't go, you won't know 🙂

🤣 quite!

goodness here’s the camp of people who whinge when their kids are on summer holiday and can’t wait for them to go back to school……

goodness. I’m 41 with five kids, youngest is three months, one has intense special needs and I home educate. I love it and I would have at least two more if I could. Would I have another a few years from now? Absolutely. I also think the whole thing of saying failing health is the norm is a total indictment of our culture - if you care about your health, then take charge, educate yourself and live healthy. No you can’t control lots of things, but you can stack the deck in your favour, big time.

let us know what you decide. Big love.

Woah the crazies have come out on this thread!

I think 45 is a bit too old to have a baby naturally (because of old eggs), but this is not an issue in your case, so I'd say go for it if you want another child.

Indeed!

Hello am 45 in a weeks time. I have 2 children and after 2 miscarriages in the last year and a half i have given up. I wish i had frozen embryos from age 39 i never thought in a million years i'd experience the heart ache of longing for another child at my age. It still hurts when i see babies but am letting go theres no other option. My niece offered to be an egg donor but my husband wont hear anything more about it so that's that.

I say go for it good luck 🤞

I am desperately seeking some advice. I already have 3 children. One is a young adult and i have a 5 and 13 year old.
I had IVF with my third due to a new partner and male factor infertility. I was lucky and the ivf worked 1st time and became my third child. I was left with 3 frozen embryos.
unfortunately my pregnancy wasn’t lucky and i had crippling anxiety with multiple panic attacks. Many days i thought i could die.
following the birth of my third child i fell pregnant naturally when my baby was three months. This floored me and the thought of a pregnancy/new baby when i was still just recovering from the birth of my third child terrified me. I was still very anxious and genuinely believed i could die.
recently a sibling has had ivf and has talked endlessly about her embryos and baby plans. This has left me feeling very sad and torn about what i do with my own embryos. Realistically i could put one back but im 44 now and feel i may be too old. Im also scared about the anxiety it may cause me and how my body will react to the pregnancy if it worked.

I feel so unbelievably torn and so full of regret that i didnt keep the baby. I feel like if i save one embryo i can make the hollow emptiness that i feel for the termination better.
I know time isn’t on my side now and thats why i need to decide soon. I feel so sad thinking of the embryos left that would be just like my child. The thought that i may have to destroy them too breaks my heart.
Any thoughts appreciated.

@Maryjane1980 you won’t really get any responses on this thread as it’s quite old. If you start a new thread instead, people will try to help.