So I have been with my partner for 12 years but I am now contemplating ending the relationship. I do genuinely love this man but being together is proving to be very difficult because of his behaviour.
Context: We have a joint mortgage together in our beautiful home, 2 cats and a shared car so I am quite hesitant to end this but I want some opinions on what I am going through and if I have enough reason to call it quits. Over the last few months I’ve found his behaviour to be quite controlling. To keep this relatively short I will bullet point
⁃ he turned the heating and hot water off to get back at me one day, said that he was paying for it and he didn’t want to pay that day… he knew I needed a shower before going out
⁃ Mum and siblings visited for 2 weeks at Christmas and I haven’t seen them for 4 years, he made the whole time hell. Telling me I was neglecting him however he did not want to take part in any of our plans (his choice). He also made it very difficult with the shared car, he demanded it when he knew I had plans. I gave him the car when asked, no problem with me and it then sat outside the pub for a whole day… so he didn’t actually need it, just wanted to be difficult.
⁃ Our car was keyed on 23rd dec when I was visiting elderly grandparents, admittedly the area isn’t the best but this could have happened anywhere. Told me I wasn’t to park it there anymore and I did today to quickly drop off some messages and he seen… he’s now come home and cancelled the car insurance, and asked for the payment to be removed from our joint account although this was meant to be a joint financial commitment. I cannot afford this on my own which he knows.
⁃ When we fall out, he knows it hurts me and he takes out on our cats: they are mainly indoor cats but venture outside for about 10 minutes a day. One day we fell out and he put them outside in snow for hours and I didn’t know until I returned home later
⁃ I was I’ll with the flu recently and he refused to let me sleep one night… blared the tv so loud we had s noise complain from the neighbour, put crisps in my hair until I eventually had to sleep in another room
This is just a small selection of things he’s done to me in the last few weeks but I feel like I am going crazy and I’ve had enough of his behaviour. I think I need to leave. Any thoughts on my situation would be appreciated, I think I just need reassurance I am doing the right thing. I guess I am just scared about how I will cope financially after separation on my income alone