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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH randomly masturbating

298 replies

Catladyy · 08/01/2023 18:16

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

OP posts:
StarInTheHeavens · 08/01/2023 19:58

Pmsl at this thread 😂But on a serious note, having a wank in the kitchen is no biggie. If he was at it for 45mins then I bet he was watching porn on his phone. That aside though, letting your child go hungry & prioritising yourself over them is not on. I'd be bloody upset about his lack of consideration. As others have said, feed the child & then piss off for a wank.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 08/01/2023 19:59

ConfusedMumma99 · 08/01/2023 19:53

Christ this is a bit dramatic don’t you think. 😂

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You're right there Confused, i'd just let his tyres down and give him a stiff talking to.

Minimalme · 08/01/2023 19:59

If the baby was hungry, why not just feed him?

This doesn't make sense.

SproutsLCerVEGNoEgg · 08/01/2023 20:02

butterfliedtwo · 08/01/2023 18:26

What the fuck? In the kitchen with a child in the next room is so gross.

Why does it matter if a child is in the next room?

plenty of parents have sex with a child in the next room.

plus a baby is not going to wander through into the kitchen are they?

Duckingella · 08/01/2023 20:03

Ledwood85 · 08/01/2023 18:21

He took 45mins to knock one out?

Probably spent 43 minutes to watching porn then 2 minutes to knock one out.

I wouldn't shame my OH for taking care of himself but there's a time and place;in the kitchen whilst making the baby wait for dinner seems like a **ed cluedo clue in the masterbation edition.

rwalker · 08/01/2023 20:03

So to summarise the child was not starving or crying for food
and we don’t know if he was in kitchen or downstairs

so the up shot from his point of view had bit of time on his hands so popped off for a wank

Not something I’d do myself but unlike some posters I wouldn’t brand him a neglectful pervert

quantumbutterfly · 08/01/2023 20:04

tbf if you worried about being in the next room to your child their would be no siblings ever in most families.

Tinner01 · 08/01/2023 20:05

solomam · 08/01/2023 18:53

There's usually not a hungry child crying in the background wanting their tea on those films, though.

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Omg I’m going to hell for laughing at this.. indeed the entire thread 🤣🤣

Zanatdy · 08/01/2023 20:05

Oh jeez, I’d be pretty disgusted. Not because there’s anything wrong with masturbating but there’s a time and a place!

babeB · 08/01/2023 20:05

quantumbutterfly · 08/01/2023 20:04

tbf if you worried about being in the next room to your child their would be no siblings ever in most families.

Hopefully your kids are asleep when you have sex? The child is a baby now but this is just poor boundaries and lacking in self control. Who's to say the habit won't continue

Also leaving your baby with the mum when you're supposed to be helping with the baby is just no.

hotpotlover · 08/01/2023 20:05

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 08/01/2023 18:52

Is that you Carrie?

😂

PatientlyWaiting21 · 08/01/2023 20:07

Ew.

SproutsLCerVEGNoEgg · 08/01/2023 20:07

Vaccine001 · 08/01/2023 18:39

Unhygienic pervert!

Pervert???

he masturbated, he wasn't leering over the woman next door on her sun lounger while doing it!!

Tuilpmouse · 08/01/2023 20:07

AlwaysGinPlease · 08/01/2023 18:20

That would end the entire relationship for me. How utterly revolting. How you could even speak to him after that is beyond me.

There's always someone on these threads who lacks any perspective 😖

SamoyedOfDoom · 08/01/2023 20:07
Hmm
Hankunamatata · 08/01/2023 20:07

It's more the fact he promised to do a quick dinner and didn't do it. I get hangry, I would be annoyed.

Sundayvibes · 08/01/2023 20:07

BritAbroad101 · 08/01/2023 19:29

Overexaggerators anonymous in full flow here

Man has wank - so what?

Man beats his meat - He’s a dirty bastard that needs divorcing.

woman flicks her bean - Good on her, she needs some relief amongst the stresses of life.

You’ve got to Mumsnet 😂.

A forum full of the biggest shit stirrers on planet earth 😂

Ameanstreakamilewide · 08/01/2023 20:08

Jimboscott0115 · 08/01/2023 18:26

It's certainly not disgusting or relationship ending like some bizarre posts have suggested, but it is a little odd - like you say, he could have made DS dinner and then had a quick one while you were doing bedtime if that's what he wanted.

The timing is a misnomer, noone has urges on a schedule or always at opportune moments, but then most of us can control them for a period until there's a free moment.

I think it's a typical example of just having an adult conversation about it's fine to masturbate (because it is for everyone - anyone saying otherwise needs therapy), but it's not fine to upset routines etc to do it. I'd probably check he wasn't doing it in the kitchen as that's a little odd, tell him to go in the bathroom next time.

Nah, mate. 🤨

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 20:09

Could people stop writing the yukky gross word 'wank' and call it 'one off the wrist' or 'a five-knuckle shuffle' or 'cracking one off' instead?

Tuilpmouse · 08/01/2023 20:09

Minimalme · 08/01/2023 19:59

If the baby was hungry, why not just feed him?

This doesn't make sense.

But there are a million things that "need" doing all the time... No one would ever wank if they had that attitude!

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 20:09

Sundayvibes · 08/01/2023 20:07

Man beats his meat - He’s a dirty bastard that needs divorcing.

woman flicks her bean - Good on her, she needs some relief amongst the stresses of life.

You’ve got to Mumsnet 😂.

A forum full of the biggest shit stirrers on planet earth 😂

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Totes this. Thanks.

Tinner01 · 08/01/2023 20:10

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 20:09

Could people stop writing the yukky gross word 'wank' and call it 'one off the wrist' or 'a five-knuckle shuffle' or 'cracking one off' instead?

I think those are worse! 😱

hotpotlover · 08/01/2023 20:11

Silverbook · 08/01/2023 19:10

odd On many levels….

45 mins 😳
while the baby was hungry 😳
and the fact he told you rather than making up ANY other excuse….

At least he was honest

Tuilpmouse · 08/01/2023 20:11

Hankunamatata · 08/01/2023 20:07

It's more the fact he promised to do a quick dinner and didn't do it. I get hangry, I would be annoyed.

I'd be annoyed too, and rather perplexed, but it's surely not a LTB divorcing matter as some seem to think!

SproutsLCerVEGNoEgg · 08/01/2023 20:12

solomam · 08/01/2023 18:53

There's usually not a hungry child crying in the background wanting their tea on those films, though.

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There wasn't a hungry child crying for it's dinner here either.