DH randomly masturbating

[Catladyy]

DH decided to cook an early tea for us and DS at DS' tea time (5pm). I thought we should just feed DS, who was already hungry, but DH said he'd do it quickly. 45 mins later, I take an angry baby to the kitchen to find DH has barely started. Later he revealed he'd actually just spent the time masturbating.

It feels like a really odd thing to do with a hungry baby in the next room. If he was that desperate (and out sex life is slow, but not that slow), why he couldn't just let me feed DS and slope off upstairs? Isn't it a bit of a weird urge to indulge at 5pm? But DH say's he's apologised and if I bring it up again, I'm 'shaming' him, which I have no right to do.

AIBU?

Hopefully not panna cotta for pudding?

So many man-haters and people without a clue in here.

-45 minutes is a long time... no man 'knocks one out' in the kitchen... he blatantly ran upstairs.

-Seriously? He's a monster for choosing a quick relief over feeding a child?! It's half an hour. You're telling me you don't finish your episode of Strictly or whatever and feed your baby EXACTLY on the hour every day???

-It's a wank. No different for a man than it is for a woman!- many/most of you do/have (statistically) done it.

-5pm is unusual? It doesn't happen like clockwork on a full moon!

-And of course he wasn't going to announce it! He snuck off and hoped he'd get away with it... would you announce your sessions??

-Blatantly a sign of dissatisfaction. Give the guy a break... probably not getting as much as usual, new child, on his feet and busy, no time to himself... He saw a window and he took it, in his house, hoping he could get away with it... and now being embarrased, and worse, publicly outed and shamed on MN.

This post has had me in stitches. Thank you everyone 🤣🤣🤣

What 😵‍💫 It’s beyond grim and deviant given the family and proximity to young children.

Absolutely unacceptable on every level

I could not be with a man that thought it was okay to leave a child waiting for food to do this in our family kitchen. Gross.

@Sundayvibes

🙄

The difference is a woman wouldn't bloody do it instead of cooking for her child. A baby!

Some people here have very low standards.

This is really odd!

Oh FFS. I swear you come and dribble your nonsense on every post now just for a reaction. It’s getting tedious.

Your husband is mingjng! What odd behaviour.

Maybe it wasn’t a wank check the cucumbers!

Andrew Tate...is that you?

Best thread ever!!!!

OP he was prob just burning off some energy or releasing some of the Xmas stress!!

When you say 'DH randomly masturbating'... is it, say,
as you leave the church on Sunday morning and are bidding the Vicar goodbye?
or
midway through paying the shopping bill at Waitrose?
or
in the division lobby in the House of Commons?
or
shooting (!) at 25 insurgents in Afghanistan?
or
gluing together a broken dog bowl in your kitchen?

A diagram would help.

This is surely the most bizzare thing I have read on here.

Above "au-pair had sex on my new sil rug" and "a doctor told me that vagina is the hole you use to wee".

so nice to have the rep from Kitchen Wankers Alliance with us.

'u r all man haterzzzzz'

@Wintercandyapple

Which part do you disagree with? Tell me in your infinite knowledge of men and how they think, what part was unlikely.

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches
Do any of the posts defend him above? Did you? 90% are "he wanked in the kitchen while a child was starving, he's a monster". Yes, I pointed this out...

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches 😂 @ the KWA

Was dribble the best word here? She could have spurted, jizzed, spunked her nonsense... 🤣🤣

Otherwise 10/10 absolutely correct 👏

you are amazing. I am trembling at your wondrous presence on this thread.

Howling at this comment 😂

For fucks sake look at the feedback you get on every single comment on every single post on mumsnet. Even my husband and teenage son thinks you’re fucking insane. I’ve never replied to your posts because you clearly do them for a reaction but I religiously look out for them so I can critique them and laugh that you’re pretty deluded. It’s actually quickly becoming a family hobby - sorry I’m on the wine so getting bulshy.

If you don’t think it is weird to offer OFFER to cook dinner (for your kid) but then instead don’t do that because you’re off having a wank, is normal behaviour - for EITHER gender, then you’re too far gone man! 😂 if he was desperate for a wank then let her cook as usual and sneak off.

And no, it’s not the type of behaviour to end a relationship but Jesus Christ it is the strangest and most random idiotic thing to do.

And FYI yes men do wank in the kitchen. I was a webcam girl many moons ago and those dirty fuckers would whip out their cocks and laptops in kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms surrounded by their kids school photos hung on walls. Grim grim grim.

Good argument... well done. Disprove anything I've said.

Yikes, the imagery that evokes hehehe

you seem tense.

Not had a wank today? Off to the kitchen with you...

I think a lot of these LTB types are unhappy single mothers and want to drag other women down with them.