Page 9 | To not understand why people turn off read receipts on WhatsApp

Purpl · 09/01/2023 20:38

I turned mine off as my bit h of ex boss had it whilst awaiting company mobile. I didn’t want her to know if I was online quickly while wfh . it turned off fir everyone though.

sumayyah · 09/01/2023 21:07

If you turn it off because of one person then it's turned off for all
Why do you see it as an affront to you personally? Have you done something to warrant them hiding from you?
Mine was switched off due to my ex deciding to monitor when he thought I was online and who I must be speaking to
Got rid of him but decided I preferred the peace of not being watched

ErinAoife · 09/01/2023 21:14

you can still see if they are online even when notification are turn off on WhatsApp. Hi

ConcordeOoter · 09/01/2023 21:33

Bbq1 · 08/01/2023 11:10

I use WhatsApp to chat with friends and family but more often than not, to make actual plans. A friend and couple of family members have started to turn off read receipts. It's so frustrating because if we make plans via WhatsApp and then say we arrange a time to meet, I just have to assume that they have read the message as it appears unread. I don't get all the secrecy as these are family members and friends. It started with them disabling the last seen feature and has graduated to this. Aibu and I should just assume plans are firm whether I hear back or not?

WhatsApp turns them off for everyone even if you would rather target specific people, that's why.

I switch them off to prevent abuse of my time by certain individuals without having to cut them off entirely. Everyone else gets receipts turned off as "collateral damage".

Original poster

Bbq1 · 09/01/2023 21:41

sumayyah · 09/01/2023 21:07

If you turn it off because of one person then it's turned off for all
Why do you see it as an affront to you personally? Have you done something to warrant them hiding from you?
Mine was switched off due to my ex deciding to monitor when he thought I was online and who I must be speaking to
Got rid of him but decided I preferred the peace of not being watched

If you read mu op and updates they were the one approaching me and asking me for favours...

OP posts:

SpacersChoice · 09/01/2023 21:45

My phone is for me to reply at my leisure and not for people to be up my ass because I was “online” but didn’t read or respond immediately, or because I read but didn’t respond immediately.

Fucking weird behaviour.

Ukrainebaby23 · 09/01/2023 22:10

shrunkenhead · 08/01/2023 11:22

I think it's bit petty tbh. No one really cares who is/ isn't online or whether they've read/not read a message! I think some people actually think their lives and online status are of great interest to others and they're really not. Some people just like the "drama" of turning off the ticks.
People need to get over themselves.

I agree in principle, personally I don't mind if folk take days to reply, but I lost someone I thought was a good friend because I didn't respond often enough, or quickly enough. I understand why she was p-#%- at me but I was really struggling with life at the time, failed my masters and could have done with some support.
Actually turns out I don't really miss her as it was always about her.....

InPraiseOfBacchus · 09/01/2023 23:08

shrunkenhead · 08/01/2023 11:22

I think it's bit petty tbh. No one really cares who is/ isn't online or whether they've read/not read a message! I think some people actually think their lives and online status are of great interest to others and they're really not. Some people just like the "drama" of turning off the ticks.
People need to get over themselves.

Today I learned that turning off read receipts is "drama".

Babe, who hurt you?

EatAllDay · 10/01/2023 07:06

Why can’t you just call the person??

Hmm1234 · 10/01/2023 09:11

you think that’s bad have you ever been left on read blue ticks and ignored then the person pops back up weeks later acting oblivious

Spiralleddown · 10/01/2023 10:24

SpacersChoice · 09/01/2023 21:45

My phone is for me to reply at my leisure and not for people to be up my ass because I was “online” but didn’t read or respond immediately, or because I read but didn’t respond immediately.

Fucking weird behaviour.

This

2Rebecca · 10/01/2023 10:48

I didn't know WhatsApp had this feature. I looked at mine and it's on but if I'm arranging a meeting I want an actual message from someone. Whether or not they've read something is irrelevant and often in an app you can have read something different in that app. If I want an answer from someone I send them an actual question. I would just ask people in the app if they are coming or not and say I'm not going if no-one else is.

WhenIAmOldIShallWearPurple · 10/01/2023 11:15

I have them turned on but I look at the message preview on Android before I decide if I want to mark it as read or not

BasketCase101 · 10/01/2023 11:49

Personally I think it's a bit much to expect people to respond immediately - in the age of instant contact I think it's reasonable to allow people to draw their own boundaries and respond at time that is best for them (unless obviously time sensitive matter)

Like many of people, I have quite a stressful job but WFH and I'm staring at a screen all day having to respond instantly to work messages on Slack. The last thing I want to do is feel pressured to respond instantly to friends and family. It's overwhelming and I feel completely unable to relax during weekdays when people expect instant responses from every little message.

Might sound a little harsh and this is just my opinion but I often find the people getting frustrated about read receipts often are retired or don't work full time etc and have much more time on their hands to be getting worked up about these things.

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 10/01/2023 23:36

I didn't know you could turn them off.

BoadiceaOverall · 11/01/2023 19:28

SpacersChoice · 09/01/2023 21:45

My phone is for me to reply at my leisure and not for people to be up my ass because I was “online” but didn’t read or respond immediately, or because I read but didn’t respond immediately.

Fucking weird behaviour.

100% this. Unless someone needs a reply or my help/support urgently, I respond at my own convenience, and I don't expect immediate responses from my contacts either. I hate how tech can make people can feel like the drawbridge is always down, and I won't buy into it unless something is genuinely time-sensitive. It's probably because I'm middle-aged and can remember how peaceful life used to be when things like WhatsApp didn't exist. 😁

MiserableCarer · 22/07/2024 09:12

Why can't people respond immediately? I can only think of one reason you can't respond immediately and that's because you are trapped innder a bus. If you have time to read it you have time to say "get back to you later". Even predictive text will get it done quicker. It's a bit like when you are out with a friend and they ask you across the table if you are doing anything on Monday and you slip away from the table without saying bye. IMHO it's just rude.

DoreenonTill8 · 22/07/2024 09:14

Why can't people respond immediately?
You honestly think that everyone has to drop everything RIGHT AWAY! if you contact them?

saraclara · 22/07/2024 09:29

MiserableCarer · 22/07/2024 09:12

Why can't people respond immediately? I can only think of one reason you can't respond immediately and that's because you are trapped innder a bus. If you have time to read it you have time to say "get back to you later". Even predictive text will get it done quicker. It's a bit like when you are out with a friend and they ask you across the table if you are doing anything on Monday and you slip away from the table without saying bye. IMHO it's just rude.

Because they don't have their phone with them. My family members are all teachers or nurses. We cannot/could not have our phones with us in lesson time/on the ward.

Or they might be driving. Or they might be with friends, and it would be rude to keep checking their phone. Or a million other reasons.

My DD has a baby and a pre-schooler. I don't expect her to be able to respond immediately (though I'll admit that her not having the blue ticks on is frustrating when I'm trying to arrange times etc to pick up the kids to do childcare).

MiserableCarer · 22/07/2024 10:14

That's not the point being discussed here. It's about why people turn off Read Receipts so people can't see if you have read a message or not. This is the point I am making. I think it's rude and selfish. If you are not going to turn on Read Receipts it's because responding is done in your time not the readers. It says "your time isn't as important as mine". I get that people can't always have their phones on them so it's ok to see the grey ticks but if the grey ticks are there because you turned off Read Receipts then that's just blatantly rude.

PerkyMintDeer · 22/07/2024 10:18

I did it because I had a couple of annoying accquaintances who would message me saying "I can see you're online! Yay!!!! Let's chat!!!!"

When I was replying to a sibling about something urgent etc.

I also did it when I was struggling with not getting pregnant and friends were sending me their scan/baby pics on there. I didn't want them to know I'd seen it and not responded straight away. I needed time to have a little cry, and get the space to compose a cheerful response in my own time.

saraclara · 22/07/2024 10:39

MiserableCarer · 22/07/2024 10:14

That's not the point being discussed here. It's about why people turn off Read Receipts so people can't see if you have read a message or not. This is the point I am making. I think it's rude and selfish. If you are not going to turn on Read Receipts it's because responding is done in your time not the readers. It says "your time isn't as important as mine". I get that people can't always have their phones on them so it's ok to see the grey ticks but if the grey ticks are there because you turned off Read Receipts then that's just blatantly rude.

It really isn't. You don't have the right to know exactly when someone has read your message.

My read receipts are on by default, but I understand why some people's aren't. They might have just one person on their contacts who is unreasonable or abusive about expecting an immediate response, but in order to keep that person off their back, they have to do it for everyone, as WhatsApp doesn't let you just do it for one.

saraclara · 22/07/2024 10:43

it's because responding is done in your time not the readers. It says "your time isn't as important as mine"

But you're saying that your time is more important than theirs!

Everyone has different pressures and different personalities among their contacts. The fact that I find it vaguely irritating not to know if my daughter has read my message about the time we might meet, doesn't trump her right to delay answering because she's in the middle of changing a nappy or fielding a tantrum, and she doesn't want to have to explain or defend that delay to someone who'd be more unreasonable about it.

MiserableCarer · 22/07/2024 10:49

You are still not getting it. It's not about the delay it's about the right to turn off Read Receipts. I don't have a problem with delay although if someone doesn't have time to answer then they shouldn't read it because they have no idea what the other party might be thinking about the non response. Just don't answer it.

Brefugee · 22/07/2024 11:15

MiserableCarer · 22/07/2024 09:12

Why can't people respond immediately? I can only think of one reason you can't respond immediately and that's because you are trapped innder a bus. If you have time to read it you have time to say "get back to you later". Even predictive text will get it done quicker. It's a bit like when you are out with a friend and they ask you across the table if you are doing anything on Monday and you slip away from the table without saying bye. IMHO it's just rude.

haha no.

and if i have one of those naggers who nags me to answer immediately? i leave them on unread forever.