To not understand why people turn off read receipts on WhatsApp

[Bbq1]

I use WhatsApp to chat with friends and family but more often than not, to make actual plans. A friend and couple of family members have started to turn off read receipts. It's so frustrating because if we make plans via WhatsApp and then say we arrange a time to meet, I just have to assume that they have read the message as it appears unread. I don't get all the secrecy as these are family members and friends. It started with them disabling the last seen feature and has graduated to this. Aibu and I should just assume plans are firm whether I hear back or not?

Let's hope you never need an instant response...

If I need an instant response, I call. Which is why whenever I call my daughter she answers with "is everything okay?" Because people don't call each other any more 😅

OP, I'd just send one more message saying 'would appreciate confirmation', then leave it.
I must admit, I have toyed with turning mine off, as I have a friend who will message me and if I don't respond within 10minutes I get ??????, followed by 'are you there?'
But I haven't because I'm too nosy to see if they have read my messages🤣

You don't understand it because you are probably one of the people that causes others to turn off read receipts. Just because someone has read your message it doesn't mean they have agreed.

YABU, and anyone thinking YANBU are probably the reason that people turn off read receipts.

I turned off read receipts because of naggers wanting instant responses and the assumption that if you have read a message/are online, then you are free for a chat.
My phone is for my convenience. I ended up uninstalling Whatsapp altogether as it was too much hassle.
I use FB messenger but only on my laptop. People have to call me on my phone number if it is urgent, otherwise they will have to wait for a reply... like it used to be before the internet and the expectation to be available 24/7.

Because they don’t want to feel pressured to reply instantly.

No, its much more akin to you seeing your friend with someone else in a restaurant and barging up to them and expecting a conversation. That is just rude.

If something is urgent then call, if its not urgent it doesn't need a quick response or a placeholder for a quick response.

This expectation that every message must have at least a "get back to you later" and then the requirement to engage later is exactly why most people turn off read receipts and online presence.

BTW you resurrected an 18 month old zombie.

People do it to look popular and pretend they're being stalked....🙄
Don't even given them the attention (that they so obviously want but "publicly," want to make a point of avoiding) honestly it's attention-seeking nonsense - if they want to behave like 8 year olds let them. Back in the real world we all text etc in real time and assume if someone doesn't respond straightaway that they're busy and will do layer on.

Totally agree with you, it’s called selfish ! They don’t mind seeing when you’re reading the messages, but when it comes to them they want to control the narrative. It’s people who are hell bent on paranoia and cannot communicate. This is why I don’t text people anymore especially if I know them well, people have become lazy in communication and refuse to have an actual conversation.

I personally cannot stand texting I think it was designed to just have a short contact with someone to aid in communication, but now people have taken to a whole level where they don’t even talk. This is also why I’m against A1 when it comes to everyday life we are becoming extensions of robots

now I handle situations like this because o just done it this week actually , is I remove them off my what’s app and now tell them if you want talk just call me , as I’ve removed my WhatsApp or I tell that particular person , sorry but not sorry I don’t like how you keep me waiting 3-7
days before you reply it’s disrespectful! So from now on please just call or leave a voice message . Abuse it you loose it in my eyes .

they are selfish! Period! I treat them with the same stick they treat me with, that’s how they understand how they treat you. If you don’t like me asking what or how long will you take to get back to me then don’t leave me hanging waiting for a text reply which shouldn’t take more than one to two mins or a day, that’s acceptable but not if one it's urgent so you can plan which these selfish individuals don’t understand , as they make it all about them and their time , or two ahead or two so I can stop asking and not be anxious for a reply .

I think I can see why people take so long to reply to you.