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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for calling the police

240 replies

Strawberryjam45 · 08/01/2023 00:02

Went to see a friend at her new house today and stopped by the local high street with DH, Dd and ds. There was 3 boys standing outside a kebab shop and my DD 2.5 brushed against one of the boys bikes and it fell to the ground, I immediately apologied and thought that was the end of it. A few minutes later the boys are following us across the high street saying we've scratched their bike and telling us the bike is 3000 pounds to which DH responds something like "in my day a bike like that would have cost 50 quid" and we walked off.

Again we thought that was the end of it and went across the road to a coffee shop to eat-in. We sat down and after 5 mins realized that the boys were outside circling the coffee shop, waiting for us. They wanted us to know they were waiting for us and making it very obvious. I started to panic at this stage but DH said they would get bored and leave. 20 mins later they are still there and because we have two small children with us (2.5 and 1) and I'm not sure what they'll do I'm reluctant to leave and say I'm going to call the police which I do explaining to the operator that although they haven't actually threatened us, I do feel threatened by their behavior and like we can't leave safely. There is no one else in the coffee shop and not many people on this quite desolate looking high street.

More teens join the three boys and there is now 10-12 outside, all just circling the coffee shop and making it clear they are waiting for us. We explain to the women at the counter what has happened and that we've called the police.

One of the boys (not the original 3), older, with his face covered comes into the coffee shop with his hands in his pants and clearly under the influence of something. At this point im terrified that he'll attack my DH (as he made the comment about the bike being worth 50 quid in his day) and im not sure what he has in pants (i was worried it would be a knife). Luckily the waitress is very firm and asks that he leaves when he tries to sit on the table directly next to us and he does.

The waitress goes out and asks the boys what the issue is and comes back and explains they want an apology and maybe £20 for the scratches for the bike. My husband was prepared to do this but I couldn't believe at this stage when there was at least 10-12 teens they would just leave it at that so asked him not to go and just wait for the police to come. One of the boys starts making rude gestures at my husband at this point.

Police came and I explained what had happened and apologized for calling them but said that I really did feel scared to leave as I thought they might attack us. Police said the boys had been rude to them and we were right to call. We were able to leave safely while the police were there.

Re-telling the story to family I did wonder whether I had done the right thing by calling the police as to be honest it sounded quite trivial (it's not like the boys had actually threatened us directly) and it may have been that they might have just thrown something at us/sworn at us and that would have been the end of it-not great but not a police matter either.

Was I wrong/overreacted to call the police? I don't think I would have done so pre DC but I think having the kids with me made me panic more than I otherwise would have as it's not like we could have just got into our car quickly and left (faffing around with car seats)

OP posts:
bumblethump · 08/01/2023 00:05

Completely right to have called. Their behaviour was intimidation, as well as a complete overreaction.

Luckymummytoone · 08/01/2023 00:05

Gosh no I’d have done exactly the same! How scary! Never know what they could have been carrying either - not worth the risk especially with young children too. I hope you’re ok OP, glad you managed to get home ok x x

User837463839 · 08/01/2023 00:06

I’m fairly sure I’d have done the same with 2 very young children, or any children in tow actually.

Justmuddlingalong · 08/01/2023 00:07

I think you did the right thing. I would suggest your DH doesn't interact if anything like that happens again. I know they're just young, but there's no point in inflaming cocky youths out looking for a reaction. 💐

Vaccine001 · 08/01/2023 00:09

Of course you did the correct thing. Job well done

LotteryWinPlease · 08/01/2023 00:11

You definitely were not overreacting. I know it's a different situation but I immediately thought of poor Gary Newlove.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 08/01/2023 00:11

Yep absolutely right thing to do. Even though they were teens and not adults 10-12 teens is very intimidating. Also teen boys in a group can tend to push each other on to do more stupid and extreme things than they’d ever do alone.

808Kate1 · 08/01/2023 00:11

100% the right call and I'm glad you're OK.

MrsPatrickDempsey · 08/01/2023 00:12

I think you did the right thing. I hope you are ok - sounds like it was a horrible experience.

determinedtomakethiswork · 08/01/2023 00:14

You did the right thing. I imagine the police just sent them on their way anyway.

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:14

You definitely did the right thing. You or your DH could have easily been stabbed. When ferals like that get together, there's no telling how far it would go.

I'm glad you and your family are OK OP.

704703hey · 08/01/2023 00:14

No, you were frightened. Luckily it didn't escalate but you acted with the best knowledge you had at the time.

Newpuppymummy · 08/01/2023 00:17

You did the right thing. People have been stabbed in exactly these circumstances.

LexMitior · 08/01/2023 00:25

You did not overreact. The area seems to have brittle, shitty teenage boys in it. This could very easily have escalated.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 08/01/2023 00:27

Umm fair enough for calling the police… but you were both being dicks to them.

Did you scratch the bike? If it were a clean cut guy in his 20’s would your DH blow him off with the 50 quid line?

apapuchi · 08/01/2023 00:28

No overreaction at all, I'm glad you're safely out of the situation. Teens can seem easy to handle one on one but things can get out of hand easily as seen here.

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:29

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:14

You definitely did the right thing. You or your DH could have easily been stabbed. When ferals like that get together, there's no telling how far it would go.

I'm glad you and your family are OK OP.

Hang on a minute, that’s going a bit far. Calling the Police was the right thing to do, but don’t over-dramatize it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/01/2023 00:29

I hope you gave that very brave waitress a decent tip!

pansypan32 · 08/01/2023 00:29

So sorry you had to go through this. Made even more scary that you were with two young children. They are vile little shits and this behaviour is appalling. So glad the police came and sorted it out, but they shouldn't be intimidating people full stop .

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 00:33

@Ludo19 - "When ferals like that get together, there's no telling how far it would go." ---- totally this. Absolutely. Possibly awful consequences for both of them.

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 00:34

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 00:33

@Ludo19 - "When ferals like that get together, there's no telling how far it would go." ---- totally this. Absolutely. Possibly awful consequences for both of them.

Let alone the kids.

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:35

@Greenshake no one is over dramatising anything and I'm not the only one to mention this as a scenario. It happens you see it almost on a weekly basis in the papers, so no I won't "hang on a minute"

SaintLoy · 08/01/2023 00:35

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:29

Hang on a minute, that’s going a bit far. Calling the Police was the right thing to do, but don’t over-dramatize it.

Feral chavs in a bunch? Don't piss about. Call the Old Bill. Testosterone + limited cognitive capacity + peer presence/pressure = danger.

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 00:36

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:29

Hang on a minute, that’s going a bit far. Calling the Police was the right thing to do, but don’t over-dramatize it.

I can tell you clearly don't live in what's considered a troubled area, or you'd know people get stabbed and mugged for far less than this 🙄

OP of course you did the right thing and your DH is a very silly man if he thinks they would've stopped at £20, once they knew they could get money out of him.

diamondsandrose · 08/01/2023 00:37

I got anxious just reading this ! Totally did the right thing I would have been terrified , teens like that are not good news in a group . With little kids with you , awful. Glad you are home safe!

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