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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for calling the police

240 replies

Strawberryjam45 · 08/01/2023 00:02

Went to see a friend at her new house today and stopped by the local high street with DH, Dd and ds. There was 3 boys standing outside a kebab shop and my DD 2.5 brushed against one of the boys bikes and it fell to the ground, I immediately apologied and thought that was the end of it. A few minutes later the boys are following us across the high street saying we've scratched their bike and telling us the bike is 3000 pounds to which DH responds something like "in my day a bike like that would have cost 50 quid" and we walked off.

Again we thought that was the end of it and went across the road to a coffee shop to eat-in. We sat down and after 5 mins realized that the boys were outside circling the coffee shop, waiting for us. They wanted us to know they were waiting for us and making it very obvious. I started to panic at this stage but DH said they would get bored and leave. 20 mins later they are still there and because we have two small children with us (2.5 and 1) and I'm not sure what they'll do I'm reluctant to leave and say I'm going to call the police which I do explaining to the operator that although they haven't actually threatened us, I do feel threatened by their behavior and like we can't leave safely. There is no one else in the coffee shop and not many people on this quite desolate looking high street.

More teens join the three boys and there is now 10-12 outside, all just circling the coffee shop and making it clear they are waiting for us. We explain to the women at the counter what has happened and that we've called the police.

One of the boys (not the original 3), older, with his face covered comes into the coffee shop with his hands in his pants and clearly under the influence of something. At this point im terrified that he'll attack my DH (as he made the comment about the bike being worth 50 quid in his day) and im not sure what he has in pants (i was worried it would be a knife). Luckily the waitress is very firm and asks that he leaves when he tries to sit on the table directly next to us and he does.

The waitress goes out and asks the boys what the issue is and comes back and explains they want an apology and maybe £20 for the scratches for the bike. My husband was prepared to do this but I couldn't believe at this stage when there was at least 10-12 teens they would just leave it at that so asked him not to go and just wait for the police to come. One of the boys starts making rude gestures at my husband at this point.

Police came and I explained what had happened and apologized for calling them but said that I really did feel scared to leave as I thought they might attack us. Police said the boys had been rude to them and we were right to call. We were able to leave safely while the police were there.

Re-telling the story to family I did wonder whether I had done the right thing by calling the police as to be honest it sounded quite trivial (it's not like the boys had actually threatened us directly) and it may have been that they might have just thrown something at us/sworn at us and that would have been the end of it-not great but not a police matter either.

Was I wrong/overreacted to call the police? I don't think I would have done so pre DC but I think having the kids with me made me panic more than I otherwise would have as it's not like we could have just got into our car quickly and left (faffing around with car seats)

OP posts:
hickshudson · 08/01/2023 00:37

Horrible vile little c*nts. They wouldn't have done it to a man..

British youths are even more degenerate and disgusting in this day and age. I blame social media apps

Spiderboy · 08/01/2023 00:39

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:29

Hang on a minute, that’s going a bit far. Calling the Police was the right thing to do, but don’t over-dramatize it.

Not sure where you live but this is a very real thing in my world I wouldn’t say I live somewhere particularly “notorious” either. Groups of teens with knives are common and I’d be thinking the exact same thing

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 00:39

hickshudson · 08/01/2023 00:37

Horrible vile little c*nts. They wouldn't have done it to a man..

British youths are even more degenerate and disgusting in this day and age. I blame social media apps

Huh? They did do it to a man and also his wife Confused

diamondsandrose · 08/01/2023 00:39

@Greenshake

"Hang on a minute, that’s going a bit far. Calling the Police was the right thing to do, but don’t over-dramatize it."

Nope 👎🏼 it sounds horrendous , an incident waiting to happen. Don't be naive

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 00:40

hickshudson · 08/01/2023 00:37

Horrible vile little c*nts. They wouldn't have done it to a man..

British youths are even more degenerate and disgusting in this day and age. I blame social media apps

And also the OP didn't say they were British?

FoxCorner · 08/01/2023 00:41

You did the right thing. What's the town so I can avoid it

dicker · 08/01/2023 00:41

hickshudson · 08/01/2023 00:37

Horrible vile little c*nts. They wouldn't have done it to a man..

British youths are even more degenerate and disgusting in this day and age. I blame social media apps

they did do it to a man, didn’t you read the OP?!

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:42

I am not being naive, it’s not actually an offence to have a different viewpoint. I said that calling the Police was the right thing to do, but I think jumping to the conclusion, without any actual evidence, that someone could have been stabbed is a bit much.

Bard6817 · 08/01/2023 00:43

You did the right thing.

Seeing this more and more with feral teens, no parenting to speak of, but ‘they are all good kids really’.

No consequences i’m afraid.

Youth offender teams in CJS trying to get murderers off with slaps on the wrists, helping them play the system.

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 00:44

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:42

I am not being naive, it’s not actually an offence to have a different viewpoint. I said that calling the Police was the right thing to do, but I think jumping to the conclusion, without any actual evidence, that someone could have been stabbed is a bit much.

But it's not a bit much considering they could in fact have been stabbed, especially the husband.

It's fact, not over-dramatization.

Bard6817 · 08/01/2023 00:44

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:42

I am not being naive, it’s not actually an offence to have a different viewpoint. I said that calling the Police was the right thing to do, but I think jumping to the conclusion, without any actual evidence, that someone could have been stabbed is a bit much.

You are naive.

Do you know how prevalent stabbings are these days.

Do you know how prevalent gangs are.

Do you know initiations are ‘go stab someone’.

LexMitior · 08/01/2023 00:45

Your DH was right OP. What are the chances that three teenage boys have a bike worth 3000.

They might. But unlikely they would be holding it outside a kebab shop.

And when 12 kids are outside, and they want 20 quid, that is horseshit. They came to scare you and shake you down. Because you had small children.

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:45

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 00:44

But it's not a bit much considering they could in fact have been stabbed, especially the husband.

It's fact, not over-dramatization.

This, if their intention was so innocent why call for back up?

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:46

@Bard6817 nobody convicted of murder gets a slap on the wrist, as you well know.

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:47

Bard6817 · 08/01/2023 00:44

You are naive.

Do you know how prevalent stabbings are these days.

Do you know how prevalent gangs are.

Do you know initiations are ‘go stab someone’.

Yes thanks, I work in the field. You do realise that not every youth is armed to the teeth, despite what the Mail might tell you?

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:47

@Greenshake Well in most cases they certainly don't get the sentence their victims family deserves.

UWhatNow · 08/01/2023 00:48

Yep when they start circling and gathering the troops that’s when you know the little pricks are looking for drama. A group dynamic like that - especially if any of them had knives - could’ve had a fatal outcome for your DH. You did absolutely the right thing.

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:49

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:47

@Greenshake Well in most cases they certainly don't get the sentence their victims family deserves.

And I often agree with that sentiment. But let’s bin this ‘slap on the wrist for murder’ nonsense.

TheFrozenCanal · 08/01/2023 00:50

What a load of entitled rubbish. Where do you even take a bike to get the scratches removed for £20?
And yeah, a £3000 bike would be a technical bike for specific sports and it would be at home locked up.

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:50

@Greenshake I know of a lad personally that was stabbed at a party for talking to this boys girlfriend. You know what he got? 3yrs....if that's not lenient I don't know what is.

Greenshake · 08/01/2023 00:51

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:50

@Greenshake I know of a lad personally that was stabbed at a party for talking to this boys girlfriend. You know what he got? 3yrs....if that's not lenient I don't know what is.

Are we taking about a murder case here?

DuplicateUserName · 08/01/2023 00:51

@Greenshake why don't you just admit you were wrong to accuse a PP of over-dramatization when they said the the youths could have stabbed them?

You have no idea what area the OP was in, or what the knife statistics are there.

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:51

@Greenshake I am indeed

Ludo19 · 08/01/2023 00:53

@DuplicateUserName they won't though as they "work in the field"...apparently we're all drama and daft to not realise that not every teen is armed.🙄

diamondsandrose · 08/01/2023 00:54

It's not jumping to a conclusion , it's a fact that someone COULD have been stabbed , we don't know how it could have escalated so the correct action was to get help getting out of that cafe safely

Again , the word is COULD. She was correct not to take that chance. My guess is it's likely that things would have escalated nastily.

Of course , you don't need a weapon to give someone a kicking. Your mates egging you on is plenty motivation. A chance to be the big man.